Читать книгу Scaling Conversations - Dave MacLeod - Страница 17

In the first chapter, I presented the example of the margaritas as a way to show how thoughts and ideas can be brought to light in a group setting. Along with surfacing the best ideas instead of common ones, there's another reason margaritas are important. And that lies in the process of surfacing them.

At the core of every human are two competing needs. The first is to be heard. The next is to learn. Starting at a very young age people want to be heard and understood, even when they can't find the right words. (Ask my mom; apparently, I had many passionate opinions both spoken and unspoken.) More than a desire or an instinct, being free to express yourself is a globally recognized right foundational to democracy, which speaks a little to its importance in each of us. When that right is taken away, as it often is by consciously and unconsciously biased leaders and systems, protests eventually erupt, either on a small scale in an office setting, or on the global stage, as we witnessed following the murder of George Floyd on May 25, 2020. Voices need to be heard, and the systemic racism that has resulted in the killing of so many members of the Black community is one of the most powerful examples of an issue affecting everyone globally, in which our individual and collective right to have our voices heard is critical and needs to be upheld globally so we can move forward as humans.

Sitting right next to this need and right to voice our ideas is the core desire to learn, expand perspectives, and discard tired ideas. People famously don't quit jobs, they leave managers. I've interviewed and hired quite a number of people over the last ten years and inevitably during the interview process I attempt to look them deeply in the eye while I ask them why they want to leave their current role. What do they say most often? That they weren't paid enough? No. They weren't listened to? Nope. The most common reason is that they stopped learning. Stopped growing. The job became repetitive and their manager was in the way of them progressing and evolving. People need to move forward. And that process of moving forward requires discovering new ideas and discarding old ones.

Hanging in the balance between the two opposing forces of voice and learning is the essence of a conversation. Too much time sharing your own voice and not listening and learning from others leaves you feeling, paradoxically, unheard. Too much time spent listening and learning without responding and sharing your perspective leaves you feeling unvalued. The right mix of sharing and learning, however, creates conversation. And not just any conversation. A mutually beneficial and productive conversation. One that surfaces insight and builds belonging as a foundation for unified action.

To satisfy both the need to share new ideas and discard old ones in equal measure requires four simple criteria: openness, voice, listening and empathy, and shared understanding. These are the building blocks of the basic unit of a successful conversation. And while those criteria at first glance may seem simple, there is much that goes into each. After we understand all the components of the unit, we can dig into how to scale.