Читать книгу Grumpy Old Men: New Year, Same Old Crap - David Quantick - Страница 31

Gyms are full of machinery. Machines for running, machines for climbing, machines for – apparently – just ripping your arms right out of their sockets. These machines generally do their jobs quite well, if you actually use them properly (if you don’t, you could end up wondering why your lungs are now wrapped around your head).

But some people have evolved their own uses for machinery. These people are called ‘old men’ and they use the whole gym in a different way to the rest of the world. They treat the machines more like a prop than a tool. They may look from a distance like they’re ‘working out’, but in actual fact they are ‘sitting on their arses’, talking to their mates. Who are, of course, other old men. Sometimes the old men are having a kip on the machines. Sometimes they are lifting weights, in a cursory, occasional way. But mostly they are having a good old natter. Which is good in a way, as it means you can’t go on the machines and you have to go and sit in the coffee bit until it’s time to go home.

Where this all goes wrong, however, is when the old men decide to have their good old natter in the showers (see CHANGING ROOMS). Oh, lord.