Читать книгу Souls of My Young Sisters: - Dawn Marie Daniels - Страница 24

You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen. We just weren’t raised that way.

—First Lady Michelle Obama

Fear is a strong emotion. How you deal with your fears can be a powerful tool. As we are on life’s journey, many of us fear change. Going from the care of your parents to being on your own to becoming a parent are common fearful milestones in a young woman’s life. Due to our varied experiences as women, fear can come much earlier in life or much later, but how we learn to deal with our fears is one of the greatest lessons we will learn in life.

Learning to face your fears is something that we learn as women through trial and error. Sometimes we are forced to face our fears. Whether it’s the loss of our innocence or the fear of the unfamiliar, we are forced by the evolutionary power of change to face our fears. We’re not talking about phobias, but everyday fears that are a part of life. What comes to mind is an anxiety disorder related to fear known as agoraphobia. People with agoraphobia fear being in places they cannot easily get out of, causing panic attacks. Agoraphobics are depicted in the media as people who don’t leave their homes due to fear of the outside world. While this is a clinically diagnosed disorder, we think of this fear as paralyzing, crippling, and limiting for the person, a total disconnect from the outside world due to a fear beyond their control. If you think about this in a rational manner, you may not be able to understand the fear that an agoraphobe bears. You may be thinking of all they are missing: the sunshine on their face, the smell of fresh-cut grass, the bustling pulse of a big city, the joy in meeting new people in person, and the list goes on and on. You have a point, but let’s understand that their fear is beyond their control and the person with agoraphobia has to learn to cope with their fears with the help of a trained professional or suffer alone in silence.

Our fears may not be as extensive as that of an agoraphobe, but they can be just as limiting. As we have traveled the world speaking to women, we have discovered that fear has been a crippling factor in why many haven’t pursued their dreams. We also found that tied to fear was low self-esteem due to many young women being told they weren’t good enough. So instead of proving the naysayers wrong, they were too scared to find out the truth for themselves. They just believed the negative words they heard. Not that different from the agoraphobe.

The old saying “Nothing beats a failure but a try” comes to mind for us when we think of fear. The basis for fear is the failure to cope with the unexpected. To be able to not only cope, but to succeed in dealing with the unknown is the triumphant moment that we participate in every day. By recognizing those triumphant moments and feeling a sense of joy in the little things we conquer on a daily basis, we are able to face and cope with the larger fears. As women of color, we need to know that anything is possible for us as long as we believe in ourselves. The following women are here to let you know that they have faced some of their fears and have come out stronger and more capable of dealing with any other challenges that may come their way. Read, take notes, and know you are not alone.