Читать книгу Blind To The Eye - DeAnna Sanders - Страница 2

As I gazed outside from the window of which will soon no longer be my home, I see a familiar face walking into the building. I started to gather my stuff together as I wasn’t sure who it was, but I had a feeling that they came for me. I heard the rattling of keys against the door as the nurse unlocked it. As the door was opening I could see the face in which I was unsure of whom it was I saw. I knew that face looked familiar. The face of my childhood friend, Stan. “Hey Kait.” Stan said as he walked in. He could tell that I looked shocked to see him. “Hi, Stan. Where’s Cassandra?” I said looking totally confused. “Well, you know your mom can’t stand to see you in this place. So, she asked if I would come and get you and of course I don’t mind at all. Now, stop asking me all these questions and let’s get the hell outta this crazy house. I’m starving.” I saw that he forgot already where he was as he quickly put his hand over his mouth hoping that the nurse would forgive him for what he just said. “Aww man I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” I shook my head in agreement as I followed behind him. To hear him say that he was hungry wasn’t really a big secret, he was always ready to stuff his face.

As we were walking down the steps, I could feel him staring at me from the corner of my eye. “What the hell are you looking at?” I said without looking his way. “Nothing. You look good.” I stopped immediately as he was pointing to which car was his. “What?” Stan said with a blank look. “Did you really just say that? Really? I’ve been in a damn crazy house for the past 3 years without any makeup, pedicure, manicure, hair stylist, eyebrows looking a mess…you know what let me stop! ” Stan knew that when I got mad I could go on and on without stopping or taking a breath. He took responsibility for his actions. “Kait, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen you in a while and no matter what you think, in my eyes, you were always perfect.” I rolled my eyes at him as he closed my door to his brand new Benz. The car had that new car smell that made you wanna stay in it all the time. “New car?” I questioned Stan as he started the engine. “Um…kind of I bought it like 2 months ago. You like?” Stan knew I’ve always liked the Mercedes and for him to buy one? What an ass. “It’s okay, I would have gotten a different interior color, but it’s cool.” I couldn’t let Stan know that I was envious of his car. “So are you going to tell me the real reason why Cassandra didn’t wanna come pick me up?” I said as I was looking at the asylum as it disappeared behind me through the side mirror. “Why do you do that?” He asked. “Do what?” I replied. “Call your mom Cassandra.” It took me a second to think of an answer as I really didn’t care to respond. “Because that’s her name.” I said still looking out of the side mirror. “Well, you hurt her feelings when you call her that instead of mom. I don’t know what the hell happened between ya’ll, but she raised you and it’s disrespectful.” I looked at Stan with the most devilish look as he was driving. “The hell with Cassandra and the hell with you.” I told him as his thought of respect was to any woman who openly gave him some ass. “Kait, you….you….you are something else.” I knew he had nothing else left to say as he know I will always have the last words. “Hey, you missed my exit.” I was pointing at the exit sign towards my apartment at this time. “Oh, yeah I forgot to tell you.” He said as he was rubbing his bald head in forgetfulness. “Tell me what?” I shouted angrily as if I didn’t already know the answer. “Your mom got rid of your apartment. She wants ya’ll to get closer and plus considering the situation I think that it would be best.” I didn’t say anything because I knew that she always got her way even if it was in the wrong way.

My adoptive parents pretty much owned the small town of Baton Rouge, LA. Well, my adoptive father anyway, Cassandra is just married to Eric. I know that I am supposed to love and care for the people who took me out of foster care and gave me a home, but I can’t stand them. It’s not because he’s black and she’s white they aren’t my real parents. We just don’t agree at all about my future. They want me to go into the family business of Law. I know it’s probably selfish to just think about myself and maybe even a little ungrateful that I have parents who are willing to give me anything I want, but for some reason that’s not me. I like to work for what’s mine so that I don’t have to worry about anyone coming to take it within a blink of an eye.

I started frowning at Stan as we were pulling into the driveway. “Now, no cussing, no fighting, be polite and nice. Understand?” I looked around and around throughout the car as he was saying this bull to me. “What are you looking for?” He said to me with confusion. “I’m looking for the person you are talking to because it sure as hell isn’t me.” I said back to him. “Just be nice okay. For me please?” I hated it when Stan used the phrase “for me” he knew that when he did it I couldn’t say no. “Fine Stan, but if she starts anything with me I’m not gonna be nice.” He smiled with relief hoping that I would be on my best behavior. The house still looks the same, I said to myself as I got out the car. “I’ll get your bags while you go on in.” I looked at Stan in shock because he was trying to be a gentlemen today.

As I reached for the door knob it opened before I could even get my hand on it. “SURPRISE! Welcome home Kaitlyn.” I jumped back as I heard the loud different voices screaming at me when I stepped into the house. A welcome home party wasn’t something that I expected Cassandra to do. “I wanted to do something special for you and wanted you to know how much I love you, not just me but everyone in this room loves you.” Cassandra said. I could see that everyone was waiting for me to say something. I wasn’t shy or afraid to say anything back I just didn’t know what they might be expecting me to say; a big speech or just a few words.

“Well, this is a big surprise.” I stated as I rubbed my hand against my pants thigh hoping to get some of the sweat off. “I wasn’t expecting a party for me. I’m glad to see everyone and thank you for being here and……” I paused for a while debating whether to say that I loved them back. I swallowed in order to build the words together and replied with a small smile, “I love you mom and everyone here.” I could tell that made her happy to hear me call her mom. “Aww, Kaitlyn we love you too, we all do.” Cassandra’s mother smiled through her tears as she looked like she been cutting onions with big raindrops of tears rolling down her face.

After all of the hugging, crying, talking, and laughing, with Cassandra and relatives, it was finally time to eat some grub. I can’t even tell you how much I missed a good home cooked meal. We had everything you could possibly name on the table. It was almost like Thanksgiving, but in the spring time. “Boy, Kait I don’t care what they say about your mama.” Stan said to me as he was feeding his face. “What’s that?” I said to Stan with a smirk on my face because he was making me be nice by calling her mom. “Your mom may be white, but she has a black person’s soul. Just taste the chicken and you’ll understand what I’m saying.” Everyone laughed in agreement with him stating that fact. I nodded my head as well. I may have not liked her as a person, but she really could cook.

I waved goodnight to my relatives with a forced smile as I was sitting on the porch swing. Cassandra was walking towards me as she was waving goodbye as well. “Did you enjoy yourself?” Cassandra asked and my reply was just a nod. “Did you enjoy spending time with family?” Again, I am not related to none of these people, why does she insist on acting like I really belong here? “Kaitlyn, I wished you would just answer me and not give me the silent treatment.” I looked at her with a nonchalant face and said, “I just want to enjoy my first day of freedom in peace.” Before I knew it I had replied with such an attitude. It wasn’t my intention to make her feel as if I wasn’t thankful. I saw how my words changed her mood so I quickly made a comeback. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get angry, of course I enjoyed everyone.” I said apologetically to Cassandra. “It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it. You’ve had a rough time. Ever since you……….” I could tell she had to catch herself before saying anything else. “It’s kind of chilly out here and I know you hate the cold so I’m gonna stay out here for a little while longer.” I said to her as I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea that we were best friends now. “Okay.” She said as she kissed me on my forehead before going back in to the house. Eww, did she really just put her lips on me? I immediately became disgusted.

Finally, peace and quiet so I thought. “Move over big duke.” Stan motioned as he had been sitting in his car talking on the phone for the longest. “I’m trying to relax here. Why don’t you take yo ass home?” I told him with aggravation. “I can’t go home, not just yet. You know I gotta poke and pick at you.” I rolled my eyes as I slowly moved over to let Stan sit next to me. “So who where you on the phone with for almost a decade?” I inquired of him as I could really care less about who he was talking to. “Jealous are we? I knew it, I knew it.” He said as he was rubbing his broad chest. “What the hell are you whining about now? You don’t know nothing.” I assured him as he was now caressing and not rubbing his chest anymore. “Kait, I knew you would come around after all these years and realized what you were missing.” Before I could catch myself I had let out a big hysterical laugh. I was laughing so hard that a tear came down my eye. “I’m sorry, but ya not my type at all.” I said as I was still chuckling. “Like hell. Look at this sexy bald head, these 6 pack abs, these arms. No one can resist Stan the man.” Again, I had let out a big laugh as his quote for getting girls was, “Stan the man.” “Please, boy, the only girls who can’t resist you are hood rats and chicken heads.” I used a form of sign language relating to a chicken with my hands so he would get the picture. We were rambling on and on not realizing how late it was getting. It felt good to have someone there that understood me. Even though he was older than me by a year, he always felt like he was the boss of me. I’ve known Stan since middle school and it didn’t help that he was my next door neighbor because he was always over. But, I loved having him as my buddy. He has been my shoulder to cry on, my ears to listen, and my protector. It’s almost as if he was my personal angel sent to protect me.

I was sitting trying to listen to Stan, but my mind started to wonder off. My mind had went back to my childhood which was something I kept blocked. I couldn’t understand why this happened to me and not anyone else. Not even Stan knows. Even if he did know he never mentioned it or made notation that he knew. I wondered why it happened to me or what I could have done differently to prevent it. As I grew silent, I felt some sort of discomfort in my chest. I wasn’t sure what it was I just knew that it was hurting me. I rubbed my hands across my face and felt the wetness in which I thought it was raining, but in reality I was crying. The tightness in my chest was still there, but it started to ease up as I felt a firmness of warmth wrapped around me. “What’s wrong, Kait?” Stan whispered to me with concern as he rubbed my back gently to calm me down. “Nothing, it’s nothing.” I said as I wiped my eyes swiftly with my hands. “Well, it doesn’t seem like nothing. You went from laughing and talking to crying in just seconds. C’mon, you know you can talk to me about anything.” I looked at him and could tell he was genuine with his words. “I can’t tell you, I just can’t.” I shook my head and stood up as I was ready for him to stop questioning me. “Why? We’ve never kept secrets from each other. We’ve always shared everything with each other. The good, the bad, the happy and the sad. So, don’t lie to me and say that it’s nothing.” He said. “STAN! Just leave it alone okay. PLEASE!” I replied back in a very angry tone. At this time Cassandra had made her way to the porch looking concerned about me, but disappointed towards Stan. “Stanley, it’s been a long day. I think you should go home now and try to visit another time, okay?” She said to him. “I’m sorry, Kait. I didn’t mean to make you upset. Mrs. Thomas I apologize to you also for disturbing your home.” I could tell by the look in his eyes as he walked towards his car that he was truly sorry, but at the same time I knew our conversation wasn’t over.

As the night carried on, I was ready to get a good night’s sleep. I was heading upstairs to my bedroom until I heard footsteps walking through the hallway in my direction. “You know your father wanted to be here, but he still feels like he has to be at the office all the time even after retirement.” She stated as if I really cared if that bastard was here or not. “Whatever.” At this point my response went back to simple words or simple gestures. “Hey?” I turned around and said to her before heading to my room. “Yes?” Cassandra said. “Why didn’t you come and visit me?” I asked. She stared at me with the look on her face as if I knew the answer to that question already. “Kait, I just didn’t want to see you like that. I wanted you to get better so that you could come home.” Even though her answer wasn’t what I wanted I agreed with a nod again and continued towards my old room.

It felt good to be out of that place and in a home, but this wasn’t a happy home. In fact this place is much worse than the crazy house. I knew if I stayed here it would only cause problems between me and Eric. He and I never really got along since day one. I ask myself all the time, “Why did I have to get adopted by this family?” My question was never answered, and I was still left feeling miserable, but I wasn’t gonna look at the past and have a pity party. I was going to focus on the future and make sure that my kindness isn’t taken as a weakness anymore.