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Chapter 6

“Rush, guess what?” Breathless with excitement, Lindy let herself into the apartment and stopped abruptly, swallowing the remainder of her good news. Another man was standing next to Rush, and it looked as though the two had been arguing, or at least heatedly discussing something.

For the first time in recent memory, Rush didn’t look pleased to see her. Apparently she’d arrived at the worst possible time. Her dark eyes met his and she offered a silent apology. His brief smile both reassured and warmed her.

After an awkward moment, Rush stepped forward. “Lindy, this is Jeff Dwyer. Jeff, this is Lindy Kyle, Steve Kyle’s little sister.”

Jeff resembled a fat cat who had just been presented with a pitcher of rich cream. The corners of his mouth twitched with the effort to suppress a smile, and his eyes fairly danced with mischief and delight. “I can’t tell you how pleased I am to meet you, Lindy.”

“Thank you.” Her gaze moved from Rush to Jeff and then back to Rush, who gave her a fleeting smile that revealed his chagrin. He wasn’t overly pleased about something, but he wasn’t angry, either.

“Since Rush didn’t bother to explain, I will,” Jeff went on to say. “We’re both officers aboard the Mitchell. Rush and I’ve worked together for the past four years.” He hesitated and rubbed the side of his jaw. “Until recently I thought I knew everything there was about my fellow officer, but I guess I was wrong.”

Rush placed his hands in his pants pockets, ignoring the comment. “Jeff and his wife Susan are visiting downtown Seattle this afternoon.”

Jeff couldn’t have looked more pleased. Lindy didn’t know what was happening between the two men, but she’d apparently loused things up for Rush.

“Sue’s having the twins’ pictures taken at one of those fancy studios,” Jeff continued. “She didn’t seem to need me, so I thought I’d stop off and see my good buddy Rush.”

Lindy nodded, not knowing how else to respond.

“How long have you—ah, been living here?” Jeff asked.

Unsure, Lindy’s gaze sought Rush’s.

“It’s not what you’re implying, Jeff.” Rush’s frown was fierce as he glared at his friend. “In case you didn’t hear me the first time, I’ll say it once more. Lindy is Steve Kyle’s little sister.”

Again the edges of the other man’s mouth moved spastically. Jeff looked to be exerting a good deal of effort to hold back his amusement. The more pleased the other man’s look became, the darker Rush’s frown grew.

“I heard you,” Jeff said.

“Isn’t it about time for you to pick up Susan and the kids?” Rush asked in an emotionless tone that was devoid of humor.

Jeff made a show of looking at his wristwatch. “I suppose,” he admitted reluctantly. His gaze drifted to Lindy. “It was a pleasure to meet you. A real pleasure. Next time, I’ll bring Sue along.”

“I’d like that.”

Rush was already standing next to the front door when Jeff left her. Lindy could vaguely hear the two exchange farewells followed by a couple of heated whispers.

“What was that all about?” she asked, once Rush had returned.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that, Rush Callaghan. I know better.”

He lapsed into silence for a moment. “Jeff came over to investigate a suspicion.”

“Oh?”

“How did your day go?”

His effort to change the subject wasn’t subtle, but Lindy could tell pressuring him to explain what had been going on between him and Jeff Dwyer wouldn’t do her any good.

“Oh,” she said, her eyes rounding with excitement. “I nearly forgot.” Her hands eagerly started digging through her purse, tossing aside her compact and eel-skin wallet in her rush. Triumphantly she held up two tickets. “I got box seats for the Mariners’ game tonight.” When Rush just stood there staring at her, she blinked back her disappointment. She’d hoped he’d be as enthusiastic about attending the game as she was. “You do like baseball, don’t you?”

His nod was decidedly absent. “Box seats?”

“On the one-hundred level. A girl I work with got them through the office. She can’t go tonight, and asked if I could use them.” Lindy had been so eager she could hardly make it back to the apartment fast enough, convinced Rush would want to see the Mariners play as much as she did. But looking at him now, she wasn’t sure what to think. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she demanded, a little piqued.

“Like what?”

“Like that…. Just now.”

He shrugged. “I was just thinking about something Jeff said. I’m sorry. Did you say something I missed?”

Slowly Lindy shook her head. He hadn’t told her any part of his conversation with his friend, and Lindy knew it would be useless to even try to get him to discuss the details with her.

“Do you want to go to the game or would you rather skip the whole thing?” She tried to sound nonchalant, but she was really hoping Rush would want to attend the game.

“The game, of course. Don’t you think you’d better change clothes? Starting time is in another forty-five minutes.”

“Right.” Still confused, Lindy moved down the hallway to her bedroom. She didn’t know what to make of Rush today. They’d been getting along so well lately, spending as much time together as possible, cramming all they could into the days and nights before the Mitchell left.

In three days they’d done something together every night. Tuesday he’d taken her to the Woodland Park Zoo, and they’d fed peanuts to the elephants and been splashed while watching the playful antics of the seals. Wednesday they’d gone on a picnic on the shores of Lake Washington, where Rush had lain on the sweet-scented lawn, resting his head on her thigh while he nibbled on a long blade of grass. Thursday they’d eaten fish and chips on the waterfront and strolled hand in hand in and out of the tourist shops that dotted the wharf. Each night they’d laughed and joked and talked freely. And each night Rush had kissed her. Once. And only once. As though anything more would be too much temptation for him to handle. Rush treated her with kid gloves, touching her as if he were handling live ammunition. His kiss was always gentle, always controlled—too controlled to suit Lindy. If she hadn’t felt the soul-wrenching reluctance and regret in every part of him when he gently left her arms, she would have been deeply discouraged.

Lindy knew that Rush was having problems dealing with the emotions she aroused in him. He didn’t trust their attraction. Didn’t trust her, believing she couldn’t possibly know her own heart so soon after Paul. And perhaps, Lindy realized, Rush didn’t trust himself. He’d certainly gone out of his way to behave like an endearing older brother—except when he lowered his guard just a little each night to kiss her. He wanted her. He’d told her as much, and she wanted him. But the time for them wasn’t right.

As fast as she could Lindy changed out of her work clothes and rejoined Rush in the kitchen, prepared to hurry to the baseball game. He took one look at her and burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. I thought you said we were going to watch the game. You look like you plan to participate in it.”

She’d chosen faded jeans, a Mariner T-shirt and Steve’s old baseball cap. “Have you got a problem with this, fellow?” she asked him, her eyes sparkling with fun and laughter.

Still grinning, Rush shook his head. “Come on, Babe Ruth, we’ve got a game to see.”

* * *

They were settled in their box seats with foot-long hot dogs, a bag of peanuts and cold drinks by the time the first pitch was tossed. Rush had never been much into baseball. Football was his game, but he couldn’t have refused Lindy anything. Her energy and enthusiasm for life were like a breath of fresh tangy air after a storm at sea. Being with her stirred his senses to vibrant life and made him glad for who and what he was. There were odd moments, now and then, when he resisted the magnetic pull he felt toward her and recounted the arguments—that she was too young, too vulnerable and his best friend’s sister. But each day the echoes from his conscience came back weaker and his arguments sounded flatter. He was losing the battle, convinced he was being swept away in the whirlpool with little control over what was happening to either of them. For the most part Rush had given up the struggle and was living one day at a time, spending time with Lindy, savoring the moments they were together. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t allow the fickle Fates to carry him where they would, knowing full well they’d place him with Lindy, warm and willing, in his bed.

Jeff Dwyer knew him well enough to have guessed something had changed Rush’s life. The day before Jeff had confronted Rush and suggested that he revealed all the symptoms of a man in love. Rush had denied that, probably a lot more forcefully than he should have, because Jeff had gone on to enumerate the changes he’d seen in Rush since the Mitchell’s arrival back in Bremerton.

Not willing to drop the matter, Jeff had shown up at the apartment. He seemed to take delight in informing Rush that he’d been watching him closely of late. Jeff had noticed how quickly Rush left work the minute his shift was over, as if he couldn’t wait to get back to his apartment. It used to be that Rush hung around awhile to shoot the bull with the other guys. No more. Rush was out of the shipyard like greased lightning. And furthermore, Jeff had claimed, Rush walked around with a cocky half smile, as though he found something highly amusing. As far as Jeff was concerned, these telltale symptoms added up to one thing: a woman.

Rush hadn’t argued with his friend. He’d simply refused to discuss the subject. A lot of good it had done him. Just when he’d thought he was making headway and Jeff was about to drop the entire matter, Lindy had come bursting in the front door. Her eyes had glowed and sparkled as they sought him, confirming everything Jeff had been saying ten times over.

At his side, Lindy roared to her feet cheering. Lost in his thoughts, Rush hadn’t been watching the game and now he saw that the Mariners had just scored. He joined Lindy and shouted once for effect.

Lindy laughed gleefully, turned to him and hugged his waist, her eyes alive with joy. With hardly a pause, she sat back down and reached for the bag of peanuts. Rush took his seat as well, but his mind was whirling. He wanted to kiss Lindy at that moment, and the need was so strong in him that it demanded all his restraint not to haul her into his arms right then and there. He reached for the peanuts himself and noted grimly that his hands were trembling with the need to touch her.

The game must have gotten good, because several times during the next few innings Lindy scooted to the edge of her seat and shouted advice to both player and umpire. As far as Rush could tell, he’d responded appropriately throughout the game. He’d cheered and hissed a couple of times, applauded and booed when Lindy did, but he hadn’t a clue what was going on in the field. Dealing with what was happening to his own emotions was all he could handle for now. He was plowing through mine-infested waters with Lindy, and he was gradually losing his grip on his control with each minute he spent in her company.

Following the baseball game they walked from the Kingdome back to the apartment, a healthy two miles. Personally he would have preferred a taxi, but Lindy was in a mood to walk. She chatted as they strolled along, hand in hand. She was pleased that the home team had won and soon Rush felt himself caught up in her good mood.

* * *

Lindy didn’t know what was wrong with Rush, but he hadn’t been himself all evening. He’d hardly spoken during the entire game, and although he seemed to be paying attention, she could have sworn he hadn’t noticed a blasted thing.

For her part, Lindy felt great. More than great. She felt wonderful! And so much of this newly discovered inner peace was due to loving Rush. She even knew the precise minute she’d recognized the truth about her feelings for her brother’s friend. It had been the morning of her first day at Boeing, when he’d told her he couldn’t let her think he’d touched another woman after kissing her. Even now, the memory of his words had the power to bring tears to her eyes. For days she’d yearned to tell him how her life had changed since she’d met him. But her words would only embarrass him, so she’d kept them locked inside her heart until she was convinced she’d choke on them.

When they reached the apartment, Rush held open the door for her to precede him inside. Lindy stepped into the living room, but didn’t turn on any lights. The view of the Seattle skyline from the window drew Lindy there.

“Isn’t it lovely?” she said, looking out over the glimmering lights of the waterfront. All seventy-five floors of the Columbia Center were lit, as was the Smith Tower.

Rush stood behind her, but said nothing.

Lindy turned and slipped her arms around his middle, pressing her ear to his broad chest, hugging him, savoring the peace of the moment, knowing he wouldn’t allow it to last long.

His lips brushed the top of her head and she smiled. From experience Lindy knew that he tensed before he kissed her, as though gathering together his reserve of self-control. True to form, he stiffened and she smiled because she was beginning to know him so well. Eager now, she raised her head and tilted it to one side to receive his kiss. As it had been on previous nights, his mouth was warm and moist as it glided smoothly over hers. In welcome she parted her lips and slipped her arms up his chest to lazily loop them around his neck.

His kiss was light. Petal soft. Controlled.

Already his hands were braced on her shoulders, cupping them as he prepared to ease himself out of her arms. Lindy felt as though she were starving and a delectable feast was within easy reach, and yet Rush wouldn’t allow her more than a sample.

“No,” she objected in a tight whisper. She raised her hands to touch his face, her fingertips gliding over his features, hoping to memorize each one, burn it into her heart so that when he left her she could bear the parting.

“Lindy, don’t,” he groaned, and squeezed his eyes closed. He gripped her wrists and brought her fingers to his lips, kissing the tips.

“Hold me for just a little while longer.” She thought for a moment that he was going to argue with her, but he didn’t. With her arms draped around his neck, she pressed her cheek over his and felt him relax ever so slightly. But it wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy her, and unable to resist, she turned her head and nuzzled his ear with her nose. Her mouth grazed his clenched jaw. Her lips worked their way across his brow, over his eyes and down the side of his nose to nibble on his lower lip. She hesitated, then ran the moist tip of her tongue over the seam of his lips.

Rush’s arms tightened around her and he whispered her name on the tail end of a plea for her to stop.

He wanted her. She could feel the evidence boldly pressing against her thigh, and the knowledge of his desire gave her a heady sense of power. Led by instinct, she edged as close as possible to him and rotated her hips once, biting back a cry at the pleasure the action gave her even as it created a need for more. So much more.

“Oh God,” he moaned through clenched teeth. “Lindy, don’t do that.”

“All I want you to do is hold me for a few minutes more. Is that so much to ask?”

“Yes,” he returned, and his breath came in hot, quick gasps.

If he had planned on arguing with her, he didn’t follow through—apparently having decided it was a losing battle. His hands, which until that moment had been on either side of her waist, moved slowly upward as though drawn there by a force stronger than his will.

Lindy’s breasts strained against the fabric of her T-shirt with the need to experience his touch. Slowly his palms encircled her breasts, cupping them, weighing her ripe fullness.

Her soft moans echoed his.

“Lindy, no,” he breathed, and the words seemed to stagger from his lips, low and reluctant. “Tell me to stop. Remind me what a good friend your brother is.” His thumbs rotated around her nipples, which beaded into hard pebbles and stood proudly at attention. Rush groaned once more.

He kissed her then, hard, thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth as if to punish her for making him want her so desperately. She used her hands to hold his head as her eager tongue met his and they dueled and stroked against each other.

He broke away from her and sucked in deep, uneven breaths. “This has got to stop,” he whispered fervently into her hair. “Now.”

Lindy found she could say nothing. She searched his handsome face for some sign, anything that would explain why it was so urgent for them to stop kissing when she felt so right in his arms. Her heart was pounding in a hard, fast rhythm that made her feel breathless and weak.

Yet at the same time she was filled with an awesome sense of power. Standing on tiptoe, she slanted her mouth over his and used her tongue to torment him, probing his mouth with swift, gentle thrusts.

“Oh God, Lindy.” He kissed her then, firmly, leaving her in no doubt that he was the one in control, not she.

Without Lindy being sure how he’d managed it, Rush had her T-shirt off and her bra unfastened and discarded. The next thing Lindy knew, they were both on the sofa, she in a reclining position, Rush above her. He kissed her face, her forehead, her eyes and lips, again and again, until she lost count. Then his mouth worked its way down the delicate line of her jaw to her neck. She sucked in a wobbly breath when his moist, hot lips found one of her nipples and drew it into his mouth for his tongue to torment. When he’d finished with it he moved to the other nipple, licking it until it ached and throbbed, taut and firm.

He kissed her lips repeatedly, and waves of erotic sensation lapped over her like water pounding relentlessly against the shore.

Lindy was throbbing everywhere. Her mouth, her tongue, her breasts, her belly and the area between her thighs. Her fingers wove their way through his hair.

“Rush.” She whispered his name in a tormented whisper. “I love you so much.”

He stilled, and after a torturous moment he raised his head. Poised as he was above her, his eyes feasted on her, studying her for what seemed an eternity. Then he shook himself as though coming out of a mindless fog. “You don’t mean that. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying.” She held his head with her hands and said it again. “I love you.” She punctuated each word with a swift kiss on his lips.

Rush’s brow folded into a dark, brooding frown. “You can’t possibly mean that. Lindy, for God’s sake, you barely know me!”

“I know everything I need to.” She smiled up at him, not willing to listen to any more of his arguments.

As though he wasn’t sure how to respond, Rush slowly disentangled their limbs one by one, the whole time looking as if he didn’t have a clue how they’d ended up that way. When he’d finished, he sat on the edge of the sofa and wiped a hand back and forth over his face.

“Lindy, listen.”

“No. I’m not going to because you’re going to argue with me, and I won’t let you.” She sat upright, their thighs so close they touched.

“It’s only natural….”

Lindy slid off the sofa and pressed one knee to the floor so she could look him in the eye, but his gaze stubbornly refused to meet hers.

“I know exactly what you’re going to say.”

His face was tight with what looked like embarrassment as he reached for her T-shirt and handed it to her. Lindy smiled and slipped it over her head.

“I love you,” she repeated, feeling more sure of herself every time she said it.

“Lindy….”

“I’m not too young to know my own mind.” When his gaze shot to her, she knew she’d stumbled over one of his objections. “I’m twenty-two years old, for heaven’s sake. I’m not a child.”

He opened his mouth to argue with her, but she pressed her finger over his lips to silence him. “Now this is the biggie. You’re worried about what happened with Paul and you think all this emotion I feel for you has to do with him. I can understand your concern, and in the beginning you might have been right. But not now. I was mulling this over the other night. Thinking about how low I was when I moved to Seattle and how I was convinced nothing good would ever happen to me again. Then I met you, and, Rush…” she stopped, biting into her bottom lip as the emotion filled her eyes.

“There’s no need….”

“Yes, there is.” Her hands cupped his face, her gaze delving into his, showing him all the love that came shining through from her heart. “When I think about everything that led me to move to Seattle I haven’t a single regret. Not one. All the pain, all the disillusionment was worth it. In fact, I’ll always be grateful to Paul because it was through him that I found you.”

“Lindy, stop. Don’t say any more.”

“But I have to. Don’t you see?”

Rush closed his eyes and pressed his cheek next to her tear-stained one. His breathing was as labored as her own, but otherwise he didn’t move.

“It took what happened with Paul for me to find you, appreciate you, understand you. I love you so much…. I can’t keep it inside anymore.”

“Oh, Lord, don’t say that.”

Once more, she pressed her finger over his lips. “I don’t want anything from you. Nothing. You didn’t ask for this, and I’ve probably embarrassed the hell out of you by blurting it out. I apologize, but Rush—my noble, honorable Rush—I do love you.”

She stood then, her legs a little shaky. “Having gotten that off my chest, I’m going to leave you.”

“Lindy?” His gruff voice stopped her.

“Yes?”

He had the look of a man who’d been pulled apart on a torture rack. He rubbed a hand down over his face and then shook his head. “Nothing.”

* * *

The following morning Lindy woke to hear Rush rummaging around the kitchen, albeit quietly, no doubt hoping to escape without having to confront her. She climbed out of bed and greeted him with a warm smile.

“’Morning.”

He grumbled something in return.

“Did you sleep well?”

He gave her a look that told her he hadn’t. “I’ve got watch today.”

“Yes, I know.”

“It’s Saturday. How come you aren’t sleeping in?”

She dropped her eyes. “I wanted to be sure of something.”

“What?”

“That you believe what I told you last night.”

His gaze found hers and Lindy could tell he was struggling within himself. The stern look he wore so often in the morning softened somewhat, but when he spoke his voice remained gruff. “Listen, I’m not much of a conversationalist at this time of day, and now probably isn’t the best place to discuss this.” He paused as though to compose his thoughts, sighed and then continued. “I want you to know, I’m truly flattered that you think you love me.”

“But—”

“But,” he cut in, “you can’t trust what you’re feeling right now. So let’s leave it at that. Okay?”

“Leave it?” she flared. “Rush, no….”

“I’ll be your friend, Lindy, but that’s all I ever intend to be.”

“My friend?”

“And that’s it, so don’t argue.” He downed the last of his coffee and set the cup in the sink with as much force as if he intended to shove it down the drain. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. If that’s the way you want it.”

“I do.”

“Then I’d be honored to have you for a friend, Rush Callaghan.”

He paused, his back to her. “No more kissing, Lindy. I mean that.”

“No kissing,” she echoed.

“We’re going to live as brother and sister from here on out.”

“Brother and sister.” Lindy knew that would last until about lunchtime tomorrow, if that long.

“And if it proves too difficult for us, then I’ll make arrangements to live aboard the Mitchell.”

“If you think it’s for the best,” she agreed, doing her best to swallow her amusement. Rush’s reaction was exactly as she’d guessed it would be. “If that’s what you honestly want.”

His hand slammed against the counter. “You know it isn’t,” he said, and whirled around to face her. “Damn it all to hell. Have you the slightest notion of how close we came to making love last night?”

She nodded.

“I’ve never known a woman who could tie me into knots the way you do. I promised myself I wasn’t going to touch you again, and here it is seven-thirty in the morning and I want you so damn much I hurt.”

Silently she stepped to his side and looked up at him, her eyes wide and innocent.

“Damn it, Lindy,” he groaned. “Why do you have to be so beautiful?” He slipped his arms around her waist and exhaled sharply. “Now kiss me before I go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Obediently she twined her arms around his neck and raised her lips to his. “Anything you say, big brother.”