Читать книгу Murder in the first life - Dirk Lützelberger - Страница 12

For a Sunday, they had gotten up early. The weather was excellent, and Gwen was looking forward to the day. To finally be back for her family and especially her son filled her with anticipation.

"I have a surprise for my big boy." Gwen looked expectantly at her son, still listlessly chewing on his Nutella bun. Phil kept a straight face. Gwen met this reaction unexpectedly and directly. She had hoped Phil would be pleased and curiously inquiring, but the opposite was the case. This had been going on all week. Hardly a word had come out of Phil since Paul died. It seemed as if he was living in his own world, as if contact with the outside world had been broken. The only interest Phil showed was in playing on his computer. Here he could retreat for hours and spend his time but contact with Gwen was broken off.

Gwen finished her coffee and asked, "Don’t you want to know where we’re going today?"

Phil pushed the last bite of his roll into his mouth and stood up. "We can leave right away; I’ll just brush my teeth" he announced indifferently.

Gwen looked at Phil in surprise as he disappeared at the top of the stairs. Shaking her head, she cleared the kitchen table.

Everything was prepared and she had hoped so much to please her son. But he did not show the spark of interest in where he was going. Wordlessly and apathetic Phil got into the car, with his iPod and the headphones on his ears.

As she slammed the door and walked around the car, Gwen muttered, "Here you are, Lord, don’t say a word."

She stepped on it.

Beth was already standing at the side of the road ready to leave and was impatiently waiting for her daughter. When she saw the black Touareg arrive, she waved at Gwen. As soon as the car came to a halt, the back door flew open and Phil jumped out to fling his arms around his grandmother’s neck.

Gwen kept a jealous watch over this event and was rooted to the spot behind the steering wheel. After endless seconds, she parked the car and helped her mother get in. Phil was already in the back seat again and smiled to himself as Gwen got into the car to drive the trio to their actual destination.

"So, Phil, are you excited?" Beth asked curiously.

"Do you know where we’re going?" Phil asked hypocritically.

In surprise, Beth looked at Gwen before answering. "To the sharks and octopuses, to Sea Life. You like that, don’t you?"

"Great! We haven’t been there a long time!"

Gwen didn’t recognize her son. For the last week, he could barely get a word out. With his grandmother, the situation seemed very different. He babbled on unchecked and talked about his last week and his experiences for most of the trip. After ninety minutes they reached Timmendorf beach and Sea Life. It was bitterly cold, but the sun was shining on them. The thermometer showed 14° F this morning on departure and it might hardly have got warmer. The sun simply had no more power to heat up the air accordingly. The winter came inexorably with big steps.

After they had parked the car in a side street, the three of them went to the entrance. Behind the dune, you could hear the waves that tirelessly made their way to the beach. Gwen already had the feeling that she would need many attempts to find her son again. Perhaps Phil’s impression that his mother was having an affair with Dr Peters was also getting in the way of their relationship. She would have to get rid of this obsession soon, but not today and not in the presence of Beth, Gwen thought as they queued up at the entrance.

After they had passed the entrance, Phil headed straight for the first aquariums and dragged his grandma by the arm with him. "Come on, grandma, let’s go to Speedy!"

'Speedy' was one of the attractions in Sea Life and Phil was crazy about it. The little sea turtle had really taken a shine to him. He could stand in front of the aquarium for hours and watch 'Speedy' glide by. Gwen would have loved to know what was going on in her son’s little head.

"Hey, isn’t it great how Speedy does her laps in the water?" Gwen tried to get a conversation going. "I bet you can’t hold your breath underwater that long!"

"If you’d gone to the pool with me sometime, like Dad did, you’d know how well I can swim and, above all, dive!"

Wham! That wasn’t the plan, Gwen thought. It really hurt, but there had simply not been enough time for her career, her husband and her son. She had had to set priorities that now turned out to be wrong. But there was still enough time to change things. Gwen took a step closer to her son and crouched down.

"You’re right Phil, I haven’t spent enough time with you, and I’m very, very sorry about that, but we have to stick together now. All we have left is each other."

The seconds passed, Phil kept staring at this little sea turtle and showed no emotion.

"Phil, I have a great idea. There is not so much to do in the LKA at the moment and I have worked on all the big cases. I can easily arrange to be at home more and then we will simply do something together. Anything you want! Maybe we can go to the swimming pool, if you like? How’s that sound?"

Again, the seconds passed, which seemed like endless minutes or even hours to Gwen. Then finally Phil answered quietly and cautiously, "Yes, that would be great."

That was all, Gwen formulated the question inwardly, but then came to the realization that it was a beginning after all.

"Great! I’m so glad!" She took Phil in her arms, gave him a little kiss on the cheek, which he immediately wiped off, and stood up. "Where are we going now? You decide! It’s your day today, Phil."

While Gwen got up, her phone vibrated. Should she answer it or not? It’s hopefully not official, she thought as she fished her phone out of her tight trousers. The name on the display did not bode well. It was her colleague. A call to her work phone on a Sunday made Gwen nervous. Any chance there was a new case? She had just promised to spend more time with her son, and now this could be the end of it. Torn, she pressed the green button to answer the call.

"Gwen Fisher …" she replied and added amusedly, "… is currently on an outing with her family and cannot be reached. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep!" Afterwards she fell silent and could hardly contain her laughter.

"Hey Gwen, that’s a great greeting – you can talk to me, I’m calling private."

"That’s a relief. I thought there was gonna be another case. I was just explaining to my son that I’ve got more time for him now and my work phone is ringing."

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry. You’re on a field trip? Where?"

"At Sea Life on Timmendorf beach. Phil always likes to watch the turtle 'Speedy' here and in a few minutes, we’ll probably pay a visit to the seahorses and 'Nemo' again."

"How is he coping with the new situation?" Stefan asked.

Gwen turned around, took a few steps away from Phil and lowered her voice.

"He’s still very much turned in on himself and hardly speaks a word to me. He seems to get along great with my mother. When we went to pick her up earlier, he was like a different person. I only hope he confides in me again soon.

Stefan briefly considered whether he should openly reply to her that her son had done more with his father than with her in the past. It would be a long way to normalcy. He decided against it and tried to encourage Gwen. "I am sure that with a little patience and your charming manner you will soon bridge the gap to him."

Gwen swallowed hard when she heard his loving words. But then she reminded herself that Stefan was a colleague and her husband died just a week ago. She had to pull herself together and not fall in love with the next best friend. She would manage on her own.

"On the way back, you can go to McDonald’s, right?" Stefan suggested. "All kids love that!"

"That’s an excellent idea, especially since I haven’t prepared anything to eat tonight."

"Then we’ll meet again tomorrow at the LKA? I look forward to seeing you! Take it easy. You’ll make it!"

"Yes, I will. I’m looking forward to it, too. Bye!"

The last words Gwen breathed into the phone, almost unable to find any more parting words, and hung up.

She turned back to Phil and her mother and realized too late that her son had listened to the end of the phone call. Disappointment and jealousy lay in his voice as he murmured, "You don’t like being with us at all and are already looking forward to work more than spending time here with me." Then he turned away and went straight for the seahorse.

For the next few hours, Gwen brooded and trotted after her son and mother at some distance. Phil had always done much more with his father than with her in the past. Was this the problem Gwen was now facing? Why had she let it come to this? The two men simply had more common interests, such 'man things', Gwen mused. But still she should have been more involved. Perhaps she should have made more suggestions for joint adventures or cinema visits. But instead, she had been more engrossed in her work and had often come home late. There was hardly time to make dinner and her son had to go to bed soon. On weekends she had a lot to do in the household and when she had an hour or two for herself, she loved to read or do nothing. So, the years passed in the same daily routine and she did not even notice how the liaison between father and son became stronger and stronger. And suddenly everything changed, Gwen stopped her thoughts and looked at the clock. She went faster again and caught up with Phil and Beth.

"We must start thinking about going home again. Are you hungry? Shall we stop at McDonalds in Eutin?"

Gwen watched Phil closely, and it took a load off her mind when he smiled and said, "I’m hungry for a cheeseburger!"

"That’s great! And you mom? Are you hungry for a BigMac or something similar?

"You know me Gwen, I don’t care for the burger stuff, but I like to come along. They make great salads now, don’t they?"

"But of course!" Gwen quickly replied. She was glad that her colleague’s idea had been so well received.

"Phil, on the way there, you can start thinking about what Santa Claus might bring you. After all, it’s only a month until December 24th, and time will fly."

The stop at McDonalds satisfied all wishes. Phil got his cheeseburger; Beth had her salad and Gwen did a wrap. Saturated and lethargic they sat back in the car and Gwen started the engine. It wasn’t ten minutes before Phil had fallen asleep in the back seat. The steady vibration of the engine and the monotonous sound always made Phil fall asleep quickly. Gwen knew this from the days when she had driven Phil around in the pram. Sometimes, when he didn’t want to fall asleep, this was the only way to get him to sleep after all. The pram was a relic of the past, and today any motorized vehicle would do the job. Bus, train, car or plane were all equally good at making Phil tired. Smiling, Gwen looked in the rear-view mirror and saw her son’s head nodding uncontrollably from side to side. An unmistakable sign of deep sleep.

Around 6:30 pm, Gwen dropped her mother off at their apartment. They hugged each other heartily. "See you later" she gave Beth a kiss on her cheek as a farewell.

Once home, Gwen carefully turned into the driveway of her house. The gravel crunched under the tires and Phil got agitated in the back seat. He opened his eyes and noticed that he had slept through most of the drive home.

"Where’s Grandma? You should have woken me! I wanted to say goodbye!"

As soon as the car came to a halt, Phil opened the door and jumped out. Gwen struggled to get behind quickly and unlock the front door. Without another word, Phil squeezed through the opening door, wiped the shoes off his feet and disappeared upstairs to his room.

Gwen took a deep breath.

After she had changed and acclimatized herself, she gently knocked on her son’s room door and entered. Phil was already back at the computer and playing.

"Hey, big guy, did you have a good day?"

"Hmmm – it was quite okay" Phil was very taciturn.

Gwen made another attempt. "We must do something like this again soon. I like being with you. That was great!"

"Hmmm, if you say so."

Oh, dear, that would be exhausting, Gwen thought, and replied, "Yes, I do!" She wanted to sound more convincing, but unfortunately, she couldn’t at that moment. "I think it would be great if we could do something together."

After a pause, Phil admitted, "Me too mommy." Phil looked like he was wrestling with himself, but then he got to the point. "You were never the one who had bothered about our free time together. Dad had always done that."

Gwen didn’t want to hear it so clearly, but she decided not to answer right away, but to let him continue talking.

"I need someone who’ll take time for me, be with me, and be there for me." Pause. Gwen was about to answer when Phil spoke up again. This time talking slower and with a lump in his throat. "Now that Daddy’s gone, I don’t know what’s gonna happen." Phil had tears in his eyes, but he swallowed his sorrow. After all, Indians don’t know pain and boys don’t cry! That’s just a girl’s thing, his father taught him.

Gwen took Phil in her arms and comforted him. "I’m with you and I’m here for you – and so is Grandma. There’s just the three of us now and we’ll stick together. I already told you today in Sea Life that there is less to do at the moment in the LKA and I will leave earlier than in the past. I’ve neglected you both too much and I’ve been too busy with my job and career, but now you come first, my dear!" With these words, Gwen embraced her son even tighter.

"Promise?"

"Promise! So now you get to play a little bit more and then it’s off to bed."

Phil didn’t need to be told twice. After his mother left the room, he started a search engine on the Internet and thought a second time before typing the words 'fantasy', 'virtual' and 'chat'. It only took a moment for the hits to appear. The first one turned out to be a paid offer and Phil clicked on the second. 'SecondLife', never heard of it, but he was immediately fascinated by the realistic avatars that could be selected as game characters. The virtual world on the entry page instantly made him want more. He clicked his way through the site and inspected all available pictures and videos with fascination. The representations of the characters in the pictures and videos had one thing in common. They were all happy, healthy, beautiful and also somehow cool and sexy. 'My world – My imagination' – that was the slogan that ran through all the examples and captivated Phil. With his mouth open, he stared at the imaginatively designed avatars, which moved very naturally in the example videos, and tried to give him an impression of what would await after registration. Everything here was so personal, but also so anonymous at the same time. While browsing the site, Phil forgot the time and was already longing for this world to escape from his everyday life. There in the other life he would surely meet someone who would understand his situation and his problems. All this without revealing his real identity.

That was exactly the right thing to do, Phil finally decided and clicked on 'Register'. Now he needed a name for his avatar in the virtual world. Phil did not hesitate a second and typed in 'Phil Fisher'. Then he chose one of the standard male characters, which made a great impression. Tall and slim, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt – almost like in real life – Phil judged his choice. He didn’t have that much muscle, he didn’t have a beard yet and he was much younger in reality, but he gave rein to his imagination. And that’s how he will certainly look when he grows up, he hoped.

After entering his real date of birth and an e-mail address he was registered and seconds later he found himself in the brave new world. How wonderful it was. It had a little bit of an 'Alice in Wonderland'. Carefully he moved his figure in the sparkling and flashing area reserved for the newcomers, as not to collide with other newly created characters.

After only a few steps it had happened. He bumped into a young woman. "Ouch!" Phil said. Nothing happened. But then after a while, a small window opened. It said:

[Alina B]: Hi, are you also new here? It’s quite difficult to move around without running into somebody.

Phil was stunned. That was fast to get in touch with someone, he realized. Timidly he put his fingers on the keyboard and answered behind the blinking input marker.

[Phil Fisher]: Yeah, right.

"Phil, it’s bedtime. Brush your teeth, please. I’ll be right up, and I want to see you in bed!"

Shit, she couldn’t have chosen a worse time, he was annoyed inwardly, who had forgotten the time completely and quickly typed the words:

[Phil Fisher]: I got to go to bed. Good night.

[Alina B]: You are polite. Good night.

A smile swept across his face. She doesn’t even know me and she’s so kind to me. Maybe I will see her again next time, Phil aspired, because Alina had been really sweet. Then he rushed into the bathroom and brushed his teeth.