Читать книгу Murder in the first life - Dirk Lützelberger - Страница 6

Gwen sat at her son’s bedside. How could she tell him? How would she answer him if he wanted to know what was going to happen? On her return from the hospital, Beth had reported that Phil had only fallen asleep early in the morning. Now it was almost Sunday afternoon and the low November sun was flooding her house. It was time to get up, Gwen pondered and gently stroked her son over his head. He grumbled and blinked sleepily at her. As the memories of last night made their way through his mind, Phil jumped up and was wide awake.

"Where’s Daddy?"

Gwen held her breath. She didn’t think he would get to the point so quickly. Slowly she began to report. "We were in the emergency room last night. The doctors all acted very quickly, but Dad had no chance. "Daddy won’t be coming home, sweetheart. Now it’s just you and me."

"You lie! It can’t be! Daddy’s only had his birthday, and he’s only forty-six.

"Phil, it’s as hard for me to accept this as it is for you, but Dad is really … dead." Gwen swallowed to keep from crying out of desperation. She had to be strong now. Phil couldn’t get out a word and pressed his face into his pillow. Gwen put her hand on his shoulder.

"Leave me alone! You should have saved him. You were in the hospital with him. Phil was sobbing deeply. "Your doctor-friend was there, too. Why did you let him die?" 'Doctor-friend' Phil had called Michael. There was nothing between them. Why would he think that?

"Darling, Michael had acted immediately. You mustn’t blame him. And Stefan even drove ahead of the ambulance to clear the streets. "We all did everything we could. We never had a chance. Please understand that."

"Go away! Leave me alone!" Gwen gave her son a worried look and stood up.

"I’ll make us a nice breakfast. If you’re hungry, just come down to the kitchen." Phil didn’t say anything and just buried his face deeper into his pillow.

Gwen sat emotionlessly on the couch in the living room and stared at the display cabinet on the opposite wall as Phil stepped out of his teenage bedroom and crept down the stairs. With red puffy eyes he glanced at his mother and went wordlessly into the kitchen. Gwen considered for a moment whether she should speak to him but decided against it. He should calm down first. She heard a clatter in the kitchen and saw Phil walking back toward his room with a slice of bread and heard him closing the door behind him. As if paralyzed, she continued to sit on the couch and thought about what to do next. The hours passed agonizingly slowly, and Gwen couldn’t motivate herself to do anything or even think a clear, concentrated thought.

Around 6:00 pm, Gwen decided to make another advance. She knocked tentatively on Phil’s room door. When she received no answer, she carefully opened the door.

"Phil? How you doing? What are you doing?"

Phil sat at his desk at the computer and played. He didn’t look up when his mother entered the room.

"Honey, let’s talk, please."

"That won’t bring him back either!" mumbled Phil in return. "And I don’t want to live without him either."

"You mustn’t say such things. We must now stick together. The two of us, you and me. We’re the team now, and we’ve got to stick together. I need you!"

"But I don’t need you. I want my father back. You can’t help me."

"But that’s not possible" Gwen replied tenderly and continued. "You know that, too. What can I do to show you that I am always here for you?"

"I don’t want to talk about it today" Phil replied resignedly, without looking up from his game. "I am tired and have to go back to school in the morning. I’m going to bed soon."

"OK, please let me know if you need anything, and if I can do anything. I love you."

Gwen left the room to curl up in a blanket on the living room couch again. Tired and introverted, she stared at the display cabinet again, thinking about tomorrow. She fell asleep.