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{ CHAPTER 2 }

Show That You Care

Unfortunately, there is a lack of empirical research that addresses how teachers can develop positive and caring relationships with students (Murray & Greenburg, 2006). The field of education needs systematic inquiry into how teachers establish and maintain positive, caring relationships with students (Woolfolk-Hoy & Weinstein, 2006). If students are going to reach their full academic potential, teachers and administrators must establish relationships with them and foster a nurturing climate by exhibiting behaviors that students perceive as warm and caring.

Many teachers enter the profession because they care about students and want to use their skills to help their students succeed academically. Most educators also share a genuine concern for the well-being of children and enjoy working with them. We are all expected to conduct ourselves in a caring manner and display caring behaviors. However, some of us need to improve our ability to see things from a student’s perspective rather than always from our own, elder vantage point.

In this chapter, we will explore what the research says about providing a caring environment in the classroom, how that caring environment plays out in the real world, as well as questions for reflection and action steps you can take to ensure students know you care about them.

What the Research Says

The National Association of Elementary School Principals defines school climate as the feelings and attitudes a school environment elicits (Loukas, 2007). Although the concept of school climate is difficult to put into words, “most researchers agree that it is a multidimensional construct that includes physical, social, and academic dimensions” (Loukas, 2007, p. 1). This includes how students, staff, and community interact with each other and the approaches they use to solve problems in school (Nor & Roslan, 2009). Research reveals four strategies that teachers can keep in mind to help students know that they care: (1) take a learner-centered approach, (2) display caring behaviors, (3) use a responsive classroom approach, and (4) be aware of the effects of students feeling disconnected.

Learner-Centered Approach

Researchers have determined what teacher behaviors students perceive to be warm and caring (Cornelius-White, 2007; King & Chan, 2011; Larkins-Strathy & LaRocco, 2007). Certain teacher behaviors are beneficial on multiple fronts with the two most significant being establishing relationships and supporting students to achieve academically. Jeffrey Cornelius-White (2007) conducted an in-depth study and reviewed about 1,000 articles to synthesize 119 studies from 1948 to 2004 with 1,450 findings and 355,325 students. The study identifies eight broad teacher-student relationship variables: (1) nondirectivity, (2) empathy, (3) warmth, (4) encouragement of higher-order thinking, (5) encouragement of learning, (6) adaptation to differences, (7) genuineness, and (8) learner-centered beliefs. He concludes that learner-centered teacher variables have above-average associations with positive student outcomes and advocates that teachers and administrators work to increase the awareness and practice of positive learner-centered relationships (Cornelius-White, 2007).

This study has significant importance to building teacher-student relationships because it encourages educators to be more learner centered in their practices. A learner-centered approach refers to a wide variety of educational programs, learning experiences, instructional approaches, and academic-support strategies that address the learning needs, interests, aspirations, or cultural backgrounds of individual students and groups of students (Cornelius-White, 2007).

To build positive teacher-student relationships, educators must hone in on students’ perceptions, become more familiar with what students need from them, and then intentionally plan to provide it (Weimer, 2018). This undertaking will guide educators’ actions and yield positive results because they will know exactly what to do to build strong relationships with their students. Teachers who are aware of what students perceive as warm and caring can be intentional at setting goals to display this behavior and aim their efforts to hit these targets.

Caring Behaviors

Patricia C. King and Tak Cheung Chan’s (2011) study examines both students’ and teachers’ perceptions of teachers’ caring behaviors. They describe caring behaviors such as patience, persistence, facilitation, validation, and empowerment, and they cite other researchers who list caring behaviors such as trust, respect, connection, and support (Nieto, 2004). King and Chan (2011) find that out of twenty-two behaviors that teachers and students responded to on their survey, only four did not show significant differences of perception:

Teachers’ and students’ perceptions were similar on certain attributes of a caring teacher, such as teachers who (1) make time for students before and after school, (2) provide students with ‘treats and goodies’ on special occasions, (3) joke around with students, and (4) ask students to help with classroom tasks. (p. 18)

I encourage teachers to be cognizant of students’ perceptions and challenge them to increase relationship building by consciously displaying some of these behaviors—apart from joking around with students. In keeping with the context, it is beneficial for students to see their teachers and administrators being lighthearted when appropriate. But some students may attempt to take advantage or blur the line when authority figures joke around.

That said, teachers and administrators should ask their students what their perceptions are about how educators can display that they care. Educators can be most effective demonstrating caring behaviors when students perceive those behaviors as being warm and caring. “Students at risk are likely to perceive their teachers as caring when they engage in simple pedagogical practices such as offering help, being mindful of perceptions of fairness, and taking extra time when explaining complex subject matter” (Corso, Bundick, Quaglia, & Haywood, 2013, p. 56). Students at risk who I work with echo these same sentiments. These teacher behaviors also are likely to lead to increased student engagement. The “degree to which the student-teacher relationship supports a student’s engagement rests upon the student’s sense that the teacher is available, concerned, impartial, and respectful” (Corso et al., 2013, p. 56). When students at risk perceive their teachers to be warm and caring, they seem to make more of an effort to achieve in class and reciprocate respect.

Beth K. Larkins-Strathy and Diana J. LaRocco (2007) discuss the effect that caring teachers have on prosocial behavior and academic achievement. They found that students achieve at higher levels when they are in educational environments characterized as caring. Making caring connections is a way that schools can provide high-quality education and produce high-achieving students. Students who perceive their teachers as caring have higher levels of motivation, effort, participation, and engagement.

But what is caring? Students describe caring as creating an environment of respect, empathy, fairness, and acceptance, where they are free to make mistakes. Teachers surveyed in this study responded that having high expectations and helping students to develop self-control, personal responsibility, and other behaviors lead to higher academic performance and better school-related attitudes (Larkins-Strathy & LaRocco, 2007). Teachers also shared the importance of supporting students in meeting standards by providing them with extra assistance, motivation, and accountability (Larkins-Strathy & LaRocco, 2007).

Responsive Classroom Approach

The Northeast Foundation for Children created a social-emotional learning intervention to promote teachers being warm, caring, and supportive “to create classroom environments conducive to children’s social, emotional and academic growth” (Baroody et al., 2014, p. 69). The foundation refers to these strategies as the responsive classroom (RC) approach. These RC strategies include:

• Leading daily morning meetings

• Teaching students the specific skills they need to participate successfully

• Treating mistakes in a positive way

• Using positive language

• Teaching in ways that build excitement about learning

• Giving students opportunities to reflect on their learning

• Reaching out to parents

A teacher’s utilization of the RC practices or a combination of them promotes positive teacher-student relationships and the social and emotional well-being of students.

In 2014, Baroody et al. conducted a study on the RC approach to examine the link between the RC approach and teacher-student relationship quality. In addition to being a social-emotional learning intervention, the RC approach provides teachers with skills needed to create a caring, well-managed classroom environment that strengthens teachers’ instructional efforts, improves teachers’ and students’ social and relational skills, and enhances students’ academic and social outcomes. Teachers trained in the RC approach use practices that help them know their students individually and personally.

This, in turn, resulted in closer teacher-student relationships. “Teachers who were trained in the RC approach and who used RC practices with high fidelity, on average, reported increased closeness with their students” (Baroody et al., 2014, p. 80). This study implies that the quality of teachers’ relationships with students is a prominent predictor of students’ academic and social success. The results suggest that use of RC practices holds promise for enhancing relational support and the social and emotional well-being of students.

Awareness of the Effects of Feeling Disconnected

When students feel disconnected from school, it negatively affects the school environment and contributes to poor academic performance, poor attendance, school disruption, and violence. Sarah Johnson, Jessica Burke, and Andrea Gielen (2012) studied students’ perceptions of school violence, primarily which aspects of the school environment students felt influenced violence to occur. Two different groups of students identified relationships with school staff as an important influence on school violence.

The schools that participated in this study had a large minority population and a high percentage of students receiving free and reduced-price lunch. The students also lived in communities where violence occurred regularly, and certain groups of students even encouraged it. Students in these schools often felt peer pressure to be “bad.” In environments like this, students need warm and caring teachers who understand the challenges and social barriers with which these students contend. A lack of teacher-student relationships leads to disinterest in school and causes more disruptive behavior.

When students feel as if their teachers do not care, they disengage from school. The lack of teacher-student relationships permeates a negative school climate and results in poor student achievement. Lagana-Riordan et al.’s (2011) qualitative study uses interviews to examine students’ perspectives about their current alternative school as well as their former traditional school. The students interviewed in this study cite:

Poor teacher relationships as a major contributor to their lack of success in traditional schools. Many students felt that traditional school teachers were well-meaning but were overworked and had little time for individual attention. They attributed the lack of individual attention to teacher characteristics, such as uncaring attitudes, and to educational causes, such as large class sizes and overcrowded schools. Schools that fail to balance these challenges with individual student needs risk alienating the most vulnerable students. (p. 108)

Other students interviewed in this study felt labeled in their school environments or felt judged. For example, one student stated, “They only look at bad things you do. They do not look at good things that you do.” They repeatedly expressed discontent with the level of respect they perceived from adults: “In regular public schools one of their golden rules is ‘respect yourself and others,’ but most kids don’t get respect. They treat you like sheep that need to be herded. Everyone has to fit into the box” (Lagana-Riordan et al., 2011, p. 109). Although many students were quick to point out a single teacher who seemed to care for them, they expressed that most relationships with teachers were impersonal (Lagana-Riordan et al., 2011).

These research studies are significant because they stress the importance of displaying caring attitudes and behaviors. Teachers and administrators have a tremendous load of administrative tasks to handle, and some may be especially hard-pressed to devote individualized, caring attention to students. A former student of mine held a similar view.

What It Looks Like in the Real World

As an assistant principal, I had a sophomore named Eddie. Eddie was Caucasian and stood about five foot six with long, stringy, greasy hair. He wore an unbuttoned flannel shirt and a black T-shirt underneath, pants hanging way below his waist, and untied sneakers. Eddie had a grade point average of 1.3 and seemed uninterested in doing well in school. He was notorious for cutting class, roaming the halls, and avoiding relationships with staff.

After the dean issued a plethora of consequences to address these issues, Eddie’s behavior did not change. The frequency of his infractions, which ranged from tardiness to disrespectful language, increased. Eddie was referred to me with the hope that I could make some progress.

After looking over his file, I called him into my office. Eddie insisted that he wasn’t going to talk to me, that I was like all of his other teachers who had failed to “get inside his mind.”

“It sounds like quite a few people care about you,” I told him.

“No, they just want to control me,” he said.

“What do you mean that they want to control you?”

“They just want me to stay out of the halls and sit in these boring classes, or refer me to the dean so I can sit and listen to lectures about how my life won’t amount to anything if I don’t straighten out my act.”

“Well, since you don’t like to sit and listen, let’s do the exact opposite and let’s walk and talk,” I suggested. “I would really like for you to help me help you. Since you like walking the halls so much, let’s take a walk around the school and get to know each other better while everyone else is in class.”

We left my office and began walking side by side down the long hallways of commercial square tiles.

“It looks like people have been trying to work with you to help you do better in school,” I said.

“They don’t care about me” was his curt reply.

“What do people have to do to let you know that they care about you?” I asked. “The reason I’m asking is because we’ll be holding grade-level meetings when we return from Christmas break after first-semester finals. I’ll be the speaker and facilitator. I know there are a lot of students who feel the same way you do. What can I or other teachers do to show you that we care about you?”

Eddie and I walked through the entire school, up and down the halls and the stairs, back and forth through the cafeteria and the gym for an entire class period while I listened to his response. In the process, I learned that Eddie was a very bright young man. He shared with me that his family had recently moved to the area and that he missed his friends and his previous school and teachers. He said he used to be a straight-A student and never got in trouble at his old school. Eddie told me in different words some of the same evidence I have already cited. He shared that his old teachers set high expectations for him and that he was pushed to participate in class and to try his very best. He spoke with sincerity about the passion that he felt his old teachers had for him to succeed.

“My teachers at my old school know all about my family problems,” Eddie told me. “They were really good at understanding me and showing me that they cared about me. They did everything they could to help me get better grades and understand what they were teaching.

“I used to love that school and even stayed after to get extra help when I needed it,” he continued. “I knew what to expect every day. They would always tell me that the reason it’s important to do well in school is so that I can eventually do better in life to improve my living conditions. In this school, teachers don’t take the time to help me or get to know me. They just expect me to do what they say without explaining nothing!

“It’s not fair that kids get the same grades whether they hand in their work late or on time,” he added. “Some kids get in trouble for doing the same thing someone else did who didn’t get in trouble. This place isn’t fair, and it’s like hypocrites walking all around.”

Eddie clearly was telling me that the school had failed in showing that we cared and failed at creating a warm and caring environment to produce student achievement.

“What can we do to change this, and how can I motivate you and other kids like you to get back on track?” I asked Eddie. “How can I send this message when I talk to the students?”

“When you talk to us, you have to say something we can feel in our heart,” he replied. “Talk to us about how you understand us. It’s good to tell us the rules and stuff, but let us know that if we work hard we’ll be rewarded. You have to let us know that you care.”

Eddie let me know in an authentic way that there was a lot of work that needed to be done to improve the school’s climate and show students that we really cared about them. As one of the school leaders, I felt responsible for Eddie’s failure. I asked myself, “How could he be doing so good at one school and then transfer here and struggle so much?” At this time, in addition to having some family problems, Eddie unfortunately was a victim of a poor school climate. The instability, lack of direction, insufficient motivation of staff, and lack of support at the school all contributed to Eddie feeling the way he did.

The correlations between school factors and Eddie’s situation were glaring. The school environment was unstable, and so was he. The school did not have a clear vision, and Eddie did not have a vision for where he wanted his life to go. His teachers were not motivated to find ways to help him achieve academic success, and Eddie was not motivated to work hard. Lastly, Eddie did not have sufficient support at school, nor could he support himself or find support outside of school.

I made it a point to take Eddie under my wing and establish a relationship with him to provide him with the support that he needed. I was also better prepared to connect with the students during our grade-level meetings when we returned to school after Christmas break. Eddie’s sentiments clearly expressed a few observations that I also had made about the school at the time, and he drove the point home. Hearing it from a student confirmed that there was a critical need to create a positive school climate. Eddie took down his wall for a moment, and the entire school benefited. Taking this walk with Eddie showed how beneficial it is to show students we care and illustrated for me a stark need to address the climate of the school by establishing a culture for learning, which I address in the next chapter.

Questions for Reflection

Use the following four questions to reflect on what you have learned in this chapter. You may choose to journal about them or discuss them with a partner or small group to gain further insights.

1. Do your students perceive you to be warm and caring? How do you know?

2. What teacher behaviors from the research shared in this chapter can you begin to implement that may lead students to perceive you as warm and caring?

3. What are two or three aspects of your school’s environment that may need to be improved to promote a warm and caring atmosphere?

4. Think of a student who reminds you of Eddie. What are several statements you can make to him or her several times a day for several days in a row to make him or her feel welcome and cared about?

Action Steps

Following are four action steps you can take right now to apply what you have learned and help students at risk in your classroom.

1. Empower your students and value their thoughts and opinions. Put students into groups and ask your students to share their opinions or ideas about social justice, school rules, or discipline policies. Guide a discussion on what fairness and equity look like to them. Have each group make a list of ways it can be established and maintained in your class or within the school.

2. Use specific words, actions, and gestures that have helped you connect with your students in the past. Be cognizant of the reinforcing qualities of touch and use the level that works for your students. For example, you can give students a pat on the back or shoulder or touch them gently on the arm. Ask students what names they would like for you to use when referring to them. Find out how students would like you to redirect them when necessary. Your students’ responses to these inquiries may surprise you.

3. When planning your next unit, build in time to conduct morning meetings or circle time.

4. Have students complete the reproducible “Student Questionnaire” so you can learn more about them.

Student Questionnaire

Answer the following questions to help your teacher learn more about you.

1. What name do you want me to call you this school year?

2. Please list a couple of hobbies or interests you have.

A.

B.

3. Which of the following best describes the way you learn?

A. Kinesthetic (doing hands-on activities)

B. Auditory (listening)

C. Visual (observing)

D. Group learning

E. Independent learning

F. Note taking

4. What kind of support do you need to be successful in this class?

5. What life experiences have you had that shape your perception of this world?

6. Write down the names of two of your role models and an important life lesson you have learned from each of them.

7. What in this class do you look forward to learning the most?

8. What is more beneficial to you? A teacher who:

A. Is warm and caring

B. Pushes and challenges you

C. Both

Building Bridges © 2019 Solution Tree Press • SolutionTree.com Visit go.SolutionTree.com/behavior to download this free reproducible.