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Introduction

Teaching is much more difficult than it used to be. This lament is common among teachers and administrators. Sometimes this sentiment is founded on mounting paperwork and professional responsibilities. Other times, it is a result of the ever-changing bureaucratic requirements of the job. But the most common reason for this complaint is student behavior.

Seasoned educators have said that they wish teaching were more like it was when they first started—when students and parents alike revered teachers. Novice teachers come in expecting respectful, hardworking students to be the rule and not the exception; they foresee neither the number nor the depth of the challenges awaiting them. Whether seasoned or novice, teachers having to devote more time to discipline than instruction is a shared frustration.

While some believe that zero-tolerance policies are appropriate to deal with discipline issues, I have found in my experience that holding in-depth discussions with students and building relationships with them is far more effective. Because of the inability to build relationships with students and find effective solutions to behavior problems, students are often funneled out of school into the juvenile and criminal justice systems as a result of zero-tolerance policies. The following sections discuss this shift in more detail, after which I provide an overview of the rest of the book.

School Discipline

Discipline problems are prevalent in U.S. public schools and continue to be one of the greatest challenges in education (Muscott et al., 2004). According to C. Stephen Wallis (1995), “The bad behavior and loss of respect exhibited daily in America’s public schools indicate an institution in deep trouble” (p. 17). School discipline is a prevalent problem and does not discriminate among schools; school discipline is everybody’s problem (Barton, Coley, & Wenglinsky, 1998). “Many public school teachers cite student attitudes, such as apathy and disrespect for teachers, as a major problem facing schools today” (Chen, 2019). Schools in cities, in suburbs, and in rural areas serving students from all racial backgrounds experience the same struggles with student behavior. These problems are critical factors in student academic achievement and support, placing the issue of classroom order and school discipline front and center in school reform efforts to enhance student performance.

School discipline problems and student misbehavior don’t only negatively affect academic achievement; they also negatively affect teachers’ attitudes (Jackson, 1998). Mike Ford (2013) states:

The specific ways a disruptive student might hurt the learning ability of other students are fairly self-evident. One effect might be decreased teacher effectiveness…. A teacher who spends large chunks of his or her time dealing with student discipline is not spending time on instruction. Inevitably, other students in a disruptive environment will suffer.

Teachers must maintain control of the class; otherwise, they cannot teach effectively. Even teachers who generally have control of their class and possess strong classroom management skills grow frustrated after encountering numerous class disruptions and abundant disrespect. Such environments have been linked to teacher stress and attrition.

Teacher burnout has become a critical concern for many interested in teacher attrition (Chan, 2006). In the United States, half of new teachers are leaving the profession within the first five years (Lambert & McCarthy, 2006). One of the major reasons for teacher attrition is job dissatisfaction, with almost 25 percent of these departures due to problems related to student misbehavior (Ingersoll, 2003). Youki Terada (2018) states:

Teacher stress is high partly because the demands of the job can lead to emotional exhaustion, which arises as teachers try to manage the emotional needs of their students in addition to their academic needs. Not all students come to school ready to learn, and distracted or disruptive students can quickly drain a teacher’s emotional energy.

According to Julian Stanley (2014), 91 percent of teachers experience high levels of stress, and as many as 41 percent of teachers leave their jobs within the first five years (Ingersoll, Merrill, & Stuckey, 2014).

When examining the causes for unruly student behavior that hinders academic success, several factors deserve scrutiny. A majority of the research on school discipline suggests that poverty, lack of social skills, lack of parental involvement, disintegration of family structure, television and media, and students’ home environments contribute to disruptive behavior (Atkins et al., 2002; Bear, 1998; Skiba & Peterson, 2003). These are powerful—and sometimes impossible—factors for educators to overcome. Most schools find it challenging to manage disruptive student behaviors, such as violence, antisocial conduct, bullying, talking back, and absenteeism, with any level of effectiveness (Barbadoro, 2017).

Because these factors are beyond educators’ control, it is easy to point to them whenever disruption festers in classroom settings and when a negative school climate persists after failed attempts to repair it. I have been guilty of this myself. When I was a dean of students working in a Chicago suburban high school, I took it personally when students misbehaved or when the negative school climate didn’t improve. I viewed my successes and failures on the job as reflections of who I was as a person. On days when student behavior was good in the building and there were no fights, I felt proud. On days when I had to process numerous discipline referrals for disrespect and insubordination or constantly break up fights, I carried a negative attitude around with me. Unfortunately, for quite some time, I had far more bad days than good.

As a result, I started doubting myself. My self-esteem faltered. I questioned whether I could do anything to improve student behavior. The tendency to be hard on oneself is a human affliction, and I certainly suffered with it. I struggled so mightily because I cared so deeply about the students and the success of the school. Meanwhile, I suffered from another human affliction—the tendency to shift blame. The frustration of disrespectful students and murmuring teachers wore on me, as it often does on educators in similar situations. In an effort to protect my image, I shared the school’s statistics when teachers or community members mentioned the school’s failing reputation.

This south suburban high school in Chicago had a population of almost 1,200 students, and over 59 percent of the students were from low-income households, 20 percent had individualized education programs (IEPs), and 3 percent were homeless. The student population in this school was 94 percent African American, 3 percent Hispanic, and 1 percent white. The school’s average ACT score was 16.6, compared to the Illinois state average of 20.8 and the national average of 21 (Illinois Report Card, 2018). It became my standby to quote these facts when teachers complained about student misbehavior, a gang presence in the school, or the number of verbal and physical altercations that occurred regularly.

Zero Tolerance

At this time, zero tolerance was very popular. Many school districts adopted zero-tolerance policies to send the message that certain student behaviors were verboten. According to Russell J. Skiba and Kimberly Knesting (2001) of the Safe and Responsive Schools Project (now called the Equity Project), zero tolerance quickly spread among educators concerned about an epidemic of youth violence, and school boards across the country adopted zero-tolerance policies for a range of disruptive behaviors. Zero-tolerance policies were dramatically expanded by state legislatures and school districts to include not just weapons and drugs, but fighting and misbehavior (Peterson, 2005), which happened to be two of the most frequently referred behaviors at my school.

In accordance with zero-tolerance policies, schools took punitive measures in an attempt to get student behavior under control. According to Sandra M. Way (2003) and Jack P. Gibbs (1975), punishment can deter misbehavior either through experiencing a consequence or through knowledge about the punishments others have received. And school officials have long known that if students understand what types of behavior are prohibited and what consequences they will face for engaging in these prohibited behaviors, they will be more likely to conduct themselves appropriately (Yell, Rozalski, & Drasgow, 2001). Knowledge of the consequences can cause students to think twice about committing an infraction.

Adopting this school of thought, our institution implemented strict discipline policies. Suspensions increased. But behavior infractions increased as well. I found myself suspending students at an alarming rate. The school community’s belief that tougher disciplinary consequences would serve as a deterrent proved to be misguided. School research has thoroughly documented how ineffective out-of-school suspensions are. In fact, research suggests that such suspensions actually reinforce negative behavior. Suspensions increase the risk of disruption and lead to dropout and delinquency (Skiba & Peterson, 2003). Students at risk view suspension as an attack or rejection, become more aggressive, and disengage from school and teachers (Seita & Brendtro, 2003). Suspension fuels anger and seems to add to aberrant behavior (Parker, 2006).

Lacking this knowledge at the time, many educators were surprised when the punitive discipline codes proved futile. Others were caught in the matrix of attempting to follow the new standards while witnessing firsthand the dismal outcomes. In an attempt to work with teachers and enforce the discipline policy with fidelity, I suspended students left and right. I spent several years watching many students at risk constantly fail class, get suspended or expelled, commit sundry rule infractions, and drop out. My heart grew heavy, and I went home from work feeling guilty on a daily basis.

To be more effective at helping students at risk behave appropriately—and thus free them and their peers to learn—I wanted to learn the best methods for doing so and become skilled in their use. As part of earning my doctorate in educational leadership, I studied research, conducted a study of my own, and wrote a dissertation on the most effective methods to use with students at risk to decrease behavior referrals.

Counseling and Relationship Building

My experience and education research have revealed that the most effective methods involve authoritative counseling and building relationships with students (Baker, Grant, & Morlock, 2008; Wang & Neihart, 2015). While the teachers I’ve worked with don’t universally agree that this is the case, ample research and numerous publications indicate that building relationships with challenging students is key to improving behavior and promoting academic success (Boynton & Boynton, 2005; Juvonen, 2006; Rimm-Kaufman & Sandilos, 2018).

Building relationships with students increases engagement, motivation, test scores, and grade-point averages while decreasing absenteeism, dropout rates, and discipline issues (Brown, 2010; Martin & Dowson, 2009; Roorda, Koomen, Split, & Oort, 2011). Throughout this book, I share evidence-based strategies for building trusting relationships with students at risk and discuss how these relationships help students improve their behavior and academic achievement. The heart of the book is about disassembling the walls that challenging students put up and opening the lines of communication, with each chapter sharing an essential part of the process.

Imagine classrooms full of resilient students focused on their learning, where respectful behaviors are commonplace and caring relationships between teachers and students are the norm. Educators can improve student behavior, and the best, most successful among us are already doing this.

About the Book

This book provides the tools and strategies educators can use to build the very sort of classroom atmospheres and cultures in which they dream of working.

Chapter 1 focuses on the many academic and social benefits of teacher-student relationships and encourages educators to adopt a relationship-building mindset. Chapter 2 explores ways adults in school settings can show students that they care about them. And chapter 3 shares evidence-based research about ways educators can improve the culture of their school by creating an atmosphere in which all students feel welcomed.

Chapter 4 discusses why teachers should not take negative student behavior personally and how they can consistently build teacher efficacy to avoid becoming a teacher-attrition statistic. Good teachers are far more than subject-matter instructors, and chapter 5 highlights the importance of classroom management and why it is necessary for teachers to foster and earn respect.

Chapter 6 explains how teachers can connect through content and how students at risk are more likely to engage more in school when they see authenticity and relevance in the curriculum. To continue the conversation, chapter 7 looks at how to take something a student is interested in and relate it back to real life.

Chapter 8 discusses the different approaches interventionists have taken to support students at risk, from the epidemiological model to the social constructivist model, all leading to the comprehensive ecological model. It also explores the benefits of taking an ecological approach, and educators will learn how to effectively use this approach to help students at risk succeed.

Chapter 9 discusses how teachers can develop empathy for students at risk. We explore research into conducting home visits and the connection between these and a more empathetic approach. Following this realistic look at the home environment of students at risk, chapter 10 highlights the importance of teaching students at risk life skills as they contend with arduous living conditions and navigate through crises. Since many of these students have a catastrophic worldview and possess little or no hope for their futures, I introduce research demonstrating the importance of countering fatalism. Featured is a resilience program that worked to infuse hope in the students at my school.

Chapter 11 discusses the psychological approach necessary to increase the self-esteem of students at risk, and chapter 12 discusses techniques educators can use to get to the root of a problem.

Chapter 13 reveals how the most effective educators use empathetic listening, active listening, and reflective listening with students at risk. After listening, educators must be willing to open up, which is the subject of chapter 14. Educators who open up and share their own personal experiences with students at risk build trust and can use these opportunities as teachable moments. No one is perfect; students at risk need to know that we can all bounce back from mistakes.

Chapter 15 shows how educators and teachers can promote social bonding among all students, especially students at risk, and emphasizes the importance of maintaining strong teacher-student relationships once they are established. The epilogue concludes the book and makes the case that building relationships with students at risk works. Its importance to the academic prospects and general well-being of students cannot be overemphasized.

Each chapter in this book appears as an imperative, emphasizing the to-do factor. Educators must put forth the effort to bring about the achievement of their students at risk. The beginning of each chapter briefly introduces the topic of the chapter. The chapter then explores the research supporting the imperative. We will look at how the topic plays out in the real world with examples from firsthand experience. Then the text turns to the reader, encouraging you to reflect on a number of questions to both understand where you are in relation to the topic and where you want to go. The final section of each chapter charges readers to implement their new learning through a series of action steps. Note that while the stories in this book are true, I have used pseudonyms to conceal the identities of teachers, students, schools, and school districts.

Many students put up barriers to avoid relationships with teachers because they have experienced abuse, neglect, or have been let down by an adult in the past. This puts students at risk. They need understanding, support, nurturing, and encouragement from their teachers and other school staff to be successful in school. This book gives teachers the tools to build the bridge to fill the gap between risk and promise and engage students through the power of relationships to help them succeed in school and in life.