Читать книгу Dating Games: Rules of Engagement - Dr Cheri Moore - Страница 6

You are in a relationship with someone and the thought of marriage is in the air. Why should you marry this person? People get married for many reasons. Love is one reason why people get married, sometimes to find that love alone is insufficient for marital bonding. Remember Love without open an honest communication will not work. People also get married for the following reasons:

•They produce a child out of wedlock

•A sense of security that their spouse will provide (such as financial security)

•Need a father or mother for children

•Prospects or the continuation of good sex

•The pride of linking with such a person (supermodel type)

Here is where the problem starts for many. Simply stated, they marry or pursue the "wrong" person and/or for the wrong reasons. Choosing the right mate is extremely important to increase the probability of a productive and successful marriage. People think that if a woman has a child out of wedlock then that woman and the father of the child should get married. On the surface this sounds good, however good will not produce a successful marriage. The marriage will be in trouble from the very beginning unless the two really have a genuine love for each other, have a strong relationship, and are really willing to commit to each other for life and they are able to openly talk to each other honestly about everything. Getting married for the wrong reasons to the wrong person can be devastating. This may result in the man, woman, or both living the rest of their life in misery. Their marriage may end in separation or divorce. Worse, they may never separate and simply live a miserable unfaithful existence with each other.

Basically, you would decide to marry a specific person if you believe in your heart that you will commit yourself to him or her. You love her/him, care about her/him, and you want to live the rest of your life joined with this person then marriage is a possibility. Technically, you marry someone because you want to. People sometimes get it in their heads that it is time, or simply that they want to get married because the clock is ticking and everyone they know is married. You may find that marriage may one day appear as the next step or natural progression in your relationship.

Time will tell whether or not you made the "right" decision. Of course having a good marriage involves a lot of work on both parts so even marrying the "right" person doesn't guarantee a good marriage. Marriage involves work. Preparation is the key. Remember if you are not ready and mature enough to listen give of yourself and put effort into really getting to know the person, you are not ready.