Читать книгу The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping our children thrive when the world overwhelms them - Elaine N. Aron, Elaine N. Aron Ph.D. - Страница 32

Now that you are familiar with the trait of sensitivity, its flavors, the other temperament traits, and are rid of some misunderstandings about HSCs, you are in a very good position to take a fresh look at your child. Fill out the following assessment. You might want to do it alone, with your child’s other parent, or with your child’s teacher or regular caregiver (or you can each do it and compare).

I. Types of sensitivity (check off each kind that applies):

__ Physical, low threshold—for example:

Sensitive to fabrics, rough socks, tags in clothes.

Notices low sounds, subtle scents.

__ Physical, intensity—for example:

Reacts more to pain than other children.

Bothered by loud noise.

__ Physical, complexity—for example:

Does not like crowds or bustling places.

Does not like foods mixed or complex seasonings.

__ Emotional, low threshold—for example:

Picks up on the moods of others.

Good with animals, babies, bodies, plants (beings that cannot talk).

__ Emotional complexity—for example:

Has interesting insights about what is going on with people.

Has complex, vivid dreams.

__ Emotional, intensity—for example:

Cries easily.

Deeply upset by another’s suffering.

__ Novelty, low threshold—for example:

Notices small changes in room or your clothing.

Prefers little or only gradual changes.

__ Novelty, complexity—for example:

Does not need or like many new things happening.

Dreads a major change such as moving to a new town.

__ Novelty, intensity—for example:

Does not like surprises, being startled, sudden changes.

Hesitant in all new environments.

__ Social novelty, low threshold—for example:

Slow to warm up again with someone she has not seen for a while.

Notices small changes in people after not seeing them for a while.

_ Social novelty, complexity—for example:

The more unusual or unknown the person, the more hesitant.

Does not like to be in large groups when some are strangers.

__ Social novelty, intensity—for example:

Does not like to be the center of attention among strangers.

Does not like meeting a lot of new people at once.

Does not like to be questioned by a stranger.

Next, rate your child on the seven traits from Thomas and Chess (leaving out “sensory threshold” because it is the same as sensitivity and you have already measured that in a better way, and leaving out “predominate mood” for the reasons given earlier in the chapter). You can look back at pages 22–24 if you have forgotten to what these traits refer.

1 Activity or energy level: Low Medium High

2 Intensity of emotional response: Low Medium High

3 Rhythmicity: Low Medium High

4 Adaptability: Low Medium High

5 Initial reaction: Approaches Variable Draws back

6 Persistence (attention span): Low Medium High

7 Distractibility (easily shifts attention to a new stimuli): Low Medium High

Now, check off what you regard as your child’s other strengths:

Artistic ability

Scientific ability

Skill at mental games

Athletic ability

Patience

Empathy

Conscientiousness

Great sense of humor

Spiritual interests

Intelligence

Kindness

Concern for social justice

Others _______________________________________________________

Your child’s problem areas (in your opinion). Some examples might be:

Trouble with coordination or playing sports

Shyness, often afraid of being rejected

Negative mood or behavior

Stubbornness

Rudeness, selfishness, lack of consideration

“Too good”

Not able to make “small talk”

Spends too much time at computer or ____________

Anger

Too noisy, boisterous

Rejected by others for being aggressive

Rejected by others for being too passive

Slow learner

Learning disability

Attention deficit disorder

Others _______________________________________________________

Would the above problem areas be a problem for any parent, or are they things that particularly bother you? (Could you imagine this problem being “no problem” in another family?)

Major events can shape your child’s life; beside each that applies, write what you think has been the effect:

Move

Divorce

Illness

Death in family

Death of a close friend, including beloved pet

Illness in family, mental or physical

Past abuse, physical or sexual

Persistent poverty

Prejudice

Unusual successes, awards, accomplishments

Public notice

Acquiring a very close friend

A special mentor (including a close grandparent, teacher, etc.)

Trips or other experiences that made a lasting impression

Lessons (musical, athletics, etc.)

Consistent activities—soccer, Scouts, etc.

Unusual living environment (big city, inner city, country, a farm, etc.)

Religious training

Cultural resources (gets to see many plays, is taken to concerts, scientists or writers often visiting family)

Others ___________________________________________________________

Now, write a page or two about your child, based on the above—a kind of summary, as if you were explaining him to someone.

 Begin with his sensitivity, then the other temperament traits he has.

 List all of your child’s strengths.

 Then mention the problems, in your opinion.

 How are these problems affected by your view of them (would someone else find them “no problem”)?

 Write something about how these strengths and weaknesses have been increased or decreased by your child’s history.

 Finally, looking back at your child’s sensitivity, how has it contributed to your child’s strengths?

 How has it contributed to the problems?

 How has it contributed to your child overcoming her problem areas?

 How has your child’s sensitivity been interwoven with her major life experiences? Did it increase their impact in some cases? Decrease it in some cases?

 Go back and underline what you have learned that you did not know before. How do you think this will change how you treat your child?

Keep these pages—you may find a time when it would be useful to give them to a teacher, long-term caregiver, doctor, or interested family member.