Читать книгу Script Tease - Eric Nicol - Страница 11

THE WRITER’S IMAGE

Now, class, I suspect that some of you are quite well dressed.

That has got to stop.

Granted, once you commit to writing for a living, your stylish dressing will cease automatically. Sartorially speaking, you can’t start projecting an image of an unmade bed too soon. Your uncoordinated garments reflect your total concentration on your writing, on your garbing a sentence with an appropriate adverb, or choosing the right simile to set off a verbal ensemble.

Your visual effect should be that of a university professor who has gained tenure and can limit his dress standards to checking his zipper.

Does this mean smoking a pipe? As long as there is no tobacco in the pipe, this can be a useful prop, especially for the female author. A cigar? Never. Virginia Woolf was said to have been seen going for long walks smoking a meerschaum, but only she would have been neurotic enough to carry that off.

Now, what about the appropriate underwear for the beginning author? Not Calvin Klein, obviously. The mind boggles at the concept of Bernard Shaw wearing a thong. Putting on worldly skivvies is a bad start for the author who wants to bond with the common man, or the even more common woman.

Got a hole in your sock? Congratulations! Your big toe is right there, front if not centre, to remind you that the flesh cannot be denied.

Your fly is open? Your makeup appears to have been applied with a spray gun? Excellent! Further evidence that your full attention is given to your writing, not the trivia of personal appearance.

To sum up: from the top of your bed head to the soles of your grubby sneakers, you the writer should demonstrate your contempt for all outward signs of success. (An unkempt beard is also impressive — especially on the female author.)

Now, this doesn’t mandate a total neglect of personal hygiene. Hopefully, there will be occasions — autographing sessions, media interviews — when it is preferable that people can come near you without being overcome by fumes. A hot bath, at least once a month, isn’t a philistine luxury; they provide those extra moments of relaxation that generate some of our best ideas, such as topping the bath off with a nap.