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TEAM WRITING

This is a rather special trade for the writer who is able to sublimate ego to further income. Which can be hefty enough to compensate for the loss of integrity, freedom, and a normal sex life.

Nearly all the words we hear on the Tube or read in magazines (such as Time) have been crafted by writers with a special talent for le mot juste, or catchy phrase, honed in company. Yes, collegial composition, without the ivy. The major market: comedy.

Several stand-up comedians (Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld) have become so successful they were able to sit down. And hire other writers to help them script TV series and films that rendered them millionaire status.

The downside of team comedy writing: the pressure of the weekly deadline can severely test the emotional and mental balance of the writer, resulting in temporary impotence and/or shingles. If a person is already taking medication for hypertension or piles, or is serious about giving up smoking, he or she might be well advised to consider a more contemplative medium.

For reasons not clearly understood, comedy-writing teams are usually male in composition, the members already certified as lunatic. “Born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad” is a trait less inherent in the female gender, doubtless related to childbearing.

Because men don’t have a monthly period, or don’t notice it unless it happens on a weekend, the comedy writer is able to concentrate completely on the stress of working with other men to a deadline. What they are generating is likely to be the script for an episode of a TV genre called the sitcom, i.e., situation comedy. The writer must think in terms of episode (short-term) rather than plot (long-term, or burial).

The acknowledged masters of sketch TV were the writers of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, most of whom appeared in the skits to their eternal profit. These masters were also British. So if you are not, and suspect that you are entirely rational, on the basis of your having normal relations with other people rather than horses and dogs, this species of writing may not be suitable.

Less demanding, but not much, is team writing of advertising copy, especially for television. This requires a special type of inspiration, on demand, but is the most lucrative of all the venues for prostituting talent. The career is so stressful as to be short-lived. In public you are mentally ringing a little bell and mumbling, “Unclean … unclean …”

The bottom line: if your heart is set on seeing your name as a byline, stay clear of advertising agencies. That way anonymity lies, albeit in the lap of luxury.