Читать книгу DBT For Dummies - Gillian Galen - Страница 25

The invalidating environment is intolerant of another person’s expression of private emotional experiences and, in particular, emotions that aren’t supported by observable events. For instance, if a person believes that they are unlovable and becomes extremely sad because of this, it’s typical for others to tell them that it isn’t true and that their statement that they aren’t lovable isn’t supported by the facts. A person feeling unlovable isn’t something that another person can observe, and so simply telling the person who is struggling with such thoughts that what they are thinking isn’t true is invalidating because it takes away the validity of that person’s emotional experience.

In other words, it may be factually incorrect that that person isn’t loved, and yet the emotion that they experience is real and is not readily dispelled simply by someone saying that they shouldn’t feel it.

Invalidation occurs when you tell another person that it doesn’t make sense that they feel a certain way. Telling a person not to feel the way they feel rarely leads them to change their emotional experience, and it also tells them that the way they feel is out of proportion to whatever event elicited the emotion.