Читать книгу DBT For Dummies - Gillian Galen - Страница 27

Another feature of the invalidating environment is that when a person is told that their displays of emotional upset are unacceptable, unwarranted, or unjustified, they often begin to feel shame for having behaved in the way they did or even for having any emotions at all. The problem with this is that shaming someone doesn’t teach them what to do when they are feeling strong emotions, and as such, they don’t learn what to do the next time strong emotions show up. It also prevents a person from learning how to accurately name and label their emotions.

Imagine that a person could not name and label vegetables and that they were told to go buy vegetables but instead came back with bread and milk and were then ridiculed for not having bought vegetables. Shaming this person wouldn’t teach them what they had to do, and long-term shame can cause significant psychological damage. In such situations, what the person actually learns is to oscillate between going to great lengths to prevent the display of big emotions for fear of being punished and then having big emotional eruptions without knowing how to manage them.