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The quality of a growth-fostering therapeutic relationship is the agent of change, according to RCT. The process involves counselor authenticity, as well as the encouragement and support of the client’s vulnerability. It requires counselors to also allow themselves to be vulnerable, first by being open to being moved by the client and the client’s story, and second by being aware of the power inherent in the relationship and using that power appropriately. Counselors create a space in which clients can grow in their authenticity and rework their disconnections. Counselors respect their clients’ histories by honoring the pace of their movement and their disconnecting strategies, and they respect their clients’ readiness to reenter connection. Counselors also honor the clients’ readiness to bring their authenticity into the relationship.

Therapeutic change involves counselors connecting with the clients’ pain and circumstances in ways that allow themselves to be affected by the client (i.e., through mutual empathy). Together, counselor and client explore the relational and controlling images that affect them, rework disconnections, and navigate the power systems that influence their worlds and lives. The process is not seamless, and the counselor stays attuned to the clients’ verbal and nonverbal responses (see Sidebar 2.6).