Читать книгу Counseling and Psychotherapy - Группа авторов - Страница 88

As we discussed in the Social Justice section, Miller (1986) coined the phrase “the five good things” to describe the conditions in which relationships thrive. Understanding these principles provides a roadmap for what counselors can strive for in their work with clients. These include (a) feelings of zest, (b) increased self-worth, (c) clarity, (d) desire for more connection, and (e) increased desire to act (Jordan, 2018; Miller, 1986). Consider for a moment a relationship that you feel to be especially fruitful. When you are in the presence of this person, do you experience a feeling of zest or energy? In their company, do you feel better about yourself? Do you have a deepened sense of appreciation and self-worth? Are you able to think and see things more clearly? Are you inspired to increase your connection with others? Do you feel increased motivation to act? (Jordan, 2018; Miller, 1986).

Alternatively, can you recall a relationship in which, after some interaction, you felt drained? A relationship in which you feel confused or not worthy? Perhaps you feel a need to withdraw rather than forge more connections? Rather than being moved toward productive action, you feel immobilized or lethargic. These are some signs of disconnection and the antithesis of a growth-fostering relationship (see Sidebar 2.3).