Читать книгу Windows of Opportunities - Heinrich Psscht - Страница 42
Mosquitoes
Оглавление– Sir, we’ve got mosquitoes!
– Mosquitoes, onboard?
– Yes sir. I seem to have seen one!
– You seemed or you saw?
– I saw, sir! And heard, sir, it was buzzing right above my ear…
– This may be very serious, Hans, who knows what shit they can transmit! We don’t need to drop sick with some cosmic fever in another galaxy!
– This may be very serious, sir!
– I said it first, Hans! Where do you think they came from?
– Cargo bay or the Russians, sir!
– Where do we get the Russians from?
– Mosquitoes, sir, from Siberia!
– This is very serious, Hans, they must be hungry!
– Hungry, sir, and opposed to us, I know, these Russians…
– Leave agitation aside, give me the temperature and humidity in the compartments!
– On the screen, sir!
– I don’t like the parameters there, Hans, but the mosquitos can be anywhere now: they fly, you know!
– That’s for sure, sir, they fly and buzz all night, they don’t let you sleep, these Russian snarling and squeaking mosquitoes, they are clearly plotting something!
– Did a mosquito bite you?
– Not yet, sir, I resisted their evil propaganda!
– Give a good blow through all compartments, lower the temperature – they should be sucked into the filter! We’ll have to chill out, Hans! Send a message to the center, tell them we have got unprecedented complications, details after the elimination of the incident!
– Aren’t we making an elephant out of a fly, sir?
– Do we have flies as well?
– Only in the laboratory, not too many!
– Count them all, Hans! They may be related to the mosquitoes!
– Sir!
– Yes, Hans!
– We have a toad in the laboratory!
– I don’t understand how it may help!
– But they are antagonists, sir, the toads eat them!
– Mosquitoes or flies?
– Both species, sir!
– Hans, go negotiate with the toad! What I’m saying… Incite it to catch mosquitoes for us!
– I’ll fetch it right now, sir!
…
– What have you got now?
– It thinks, sir!
– “It thinks”! Can your toad think?
– Yes sir!
– And how do you know?
– It sits silently and pouts!
– Am I dreaming?
– No, sir, it’s an ex…
– Tell your toad again, more persistently!
…
– It refuses most strongly, sir! It also insists that it be mentioned in all conversations as “she”.
– Why?
– She says…
– Wait, wait, wait, can your toad speak as well? Is she an enchanted princess?
– Princess, sir?
– Haven’t you read fairy tales?
– I didn’t read that one, sir! The toad said that she’s fine in the laboratory, but it’s cold and dry where we are! She will be uncomfortable with us! She is happy to be left alone in the warmth and dampness…
– Hans, I’m at my wit’s end! Or you have gone crazy! If you had a talk with the toad and heard the answers, tell her it’s an order!
– I’ve already told her!
– What did she say?
– She isn’t going to obey your orders, she is an independent toad, well-known and respectful in her circles. She has a high self-esteem and the second level of intelligence…
– Ah, that’s it, she’s a toad with intelligence… So, stop feeding her!
– Impossible, sir, she will complain to the institute that sent her, we’ll be in trouble!
– Damn her! Go dress warmly! Lower the temperature! Offer your toad a sock, a handkerchief, or something to keep it, that is, her warm.
– Don’t worry about her, sir, if anything, she’ll go into hibernation and…
– To hell with her, I’m fed up! Turn on the air evacuation, I am going to catch mosquitoes myself and, perhaps, eat them, to be on the safe side! There were my wings someplace…
– Your wings sir?
– No time for you now, Hans!
– I’m eager to help you, sir!
– No, just sit on your ass and watch the toad! Install 24/7 surveillance around her! These could be links in the same chain… Trust me! You never know what to expect from toads, mosquitoes and the Russians… This could be the beginning of a big conspiracy, Hans, but we are aware, alert and are already acting!
