Читать книгу Words of Wisdom from Women to Watch - Insurance Business - Страница 10

In my 20s and 30s, I was asked time and time again why I didn’t have children. It started as such an innocent thing, I think. Many of the women around me, if not most, had children. Younger women, older women – they all had elected to have kids. It was almost as if I were looked down upon for having made the decision not to have children.

I was asked this question by colleagues and associates so many times that my answer became so ingrained, it was an extension of my personal elevator pitch. “I loved playing with Legos and Lincoln Logs when I was a kid. I never had any baby dolls that I carried around, pretending to be mommy. Motherhood was never a calling for me, but I’m so glad that it is for you!” Huge, bright smile on my face.

As I got older, the questions became more hushed. People actually had the audacity to ask me if we’d been trying but were unsuccessful. Were we not able? Quickly followed by some heartwarming story of a friend or family member who had success with in vitro fertilization or my favorite, “When they stopped trying so hard, it just happened!”

The first time that happened, I was stunned. Really. Stunned into silence. It was one of the first times in my life I didn’t have a retort. How do you respond to that? My “I loved playing with Legos” line didn’t work. The voice running through my head told me that it wasn’t appropriate to say, “I have no desire to have children.”

No one seemed to ask my male counterparts that question.

Then there was the year that I was told I was the highest-rated and best performer, but that my bonus wasn’t going to be as big as I thought it would be because my boss needed to ensure that the bonus dollars were spread around – because my male peers had families.

I got stronger.