Читать книгу Words of Wisdom from Women to Watch - Insurance Business - Страница 8

Fraternities are important. They create inclusion. They protect. They are for people of shared interest to create communities. They are supportive.

However, they also foster exclusion. Corporate America has been built around the support of the fraternity, from the places where “deals are done” to the business that is done over brown liquor and cigars. The fraternity that was built to help men get from one stage to another is one that seems impenetrable for women.

Fraternity is built with people who are like you. “The human tendency to gravitate to people like oneself leads powerful men to sponsor and advocate for other men when leadership opportunities arise.”1

Whether the ticket to entry was a shared love of golf, fishing, or some other activity that I have no interest in or time for, I’ve always been stymied by the fraternity. I’ve tried to crack it. I’ve learned how to tell jokes. I can order, and enjoy, scotch. I’ve been known to smoke a cigar. I’ve been encouraged to be tougher, be more like the boys – learn to play with the boys. I’ve been told that I should spend more time after work hanging out with the guys. Literally, all words of wisdom I’ve heard.

Fraternities have built a certain kind of toxic business environment of insiders and exclusion. I questioned the assumption that I should try to join.

What I find most fascinating is I’ve been rewarded for learning to drink brown liquor and hang with the boys. I’ve been held up as evidence that a woman can successfully navigate a male-dominated company or industry. On the other side of this, I’ve watched senior women be fired for drinking too much and “misbehaving,” yet I’ve never seen that happen to a male executive.

I once had a person walk up to me at an event, very late in the evening, and tell me, in front of many of our peers, that he liked to “get nekked.” For real. That underneath his suit was a “wild and crazy guy.” He then asked me if I’d like to go back to our hotel with him.

A friend of mine witnessed this. He offered to walk me back to our hotel. We escaped. The behavior was explained away by this group of men, saying that he was just “having too much fun!” and they laughed about it for years. His behavior was excused because he was part of the fraternity.