Читать книгу Words of Wisdom from Women to Watch - Insurance Business - Страница 12

I’m short. I’ll admit it. I have a posse of friends who love to remind me that at 5′6″, I’m actually pretty tall for a woman, but at the tables I’m usually at, I’m definitely the shortest. I always wished that I was taller. I wanted to be one of those women who could look eye to eye with someone in a conversation. The average height of women in America is 5′4″, and the average height of men is 5′9.5″. Yup – they even get the extra .5 inch.2

I’ll tell you from my experience (validated by Malcolm Gladwell3) that executives are taller than that. The average male CEO is just a hair under six feet.

The thing about size is that it gets used as a weapon of intimidation. I was having a conversation with a man who was junior to me in rank but taller than I by at least eight inches. I was telling this gentleman that although I understood his needs, my team wouldn’t be supporting his request. I explained why he wasn’t entitled to this specific set of perks, partially because of rank (I know, so old school), and he was becoming more and more frustrated.

As his frustration rose, so did he. Until he was towering over me (I was still seated), using his physical stature to physically intimidate me into doing what he wanted. I remained seated during this entire exchange, and after a few minutes of being spoken down to, I told him to “sit the f*ck down.”

Now, no, this was not my most tactful response, but it was one that was merited in that moment. Luckily, he did sit down. I told him we could continue the conversation when he was calmer, but we never did.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the only time I’ve experienced this. Knowingly or not, size is used as an intimidation method, so my strength was built up as to how to verbally respond. I learned to be very pointed in those moments because they happened so often.

My other counter to this size issue was to amass an outstanding shoe collection. I learned pretty early how to walk in four-inch heels. I lived in them for years. It made it much easier to at least get closer to eye level. I’ll pay for it for years (in bills to my podiatrist), but the ability to not have to look up at a male peer, or be “looked down on” by one, was worth it.