Читать книгу Enneagram For Dummies - Jeanette van Stijn - Страница 91

The heart types (2, 3, 4) are all focused on themes of the heart: love, relationships, affection, the social environment, the people around them. They perceive the world through the filter of emotional intelligence. The three heart types value recognition, each in their own way. They want to pay attention or gain attention and be seen doing so. They like moving toward people. The strategy of heart types consists of adapting to the moods and feelings of others to gain a sense of connection with the other person. More than the other types, they trust and lean on appreciation and respect from others to maintain their sense of self-esteem and to feel loved. To preserve this appreciation and respect, they create an image of themselves that is meant to persuade others to accept them and see them as special. They are focused on a connection with others, on relationships.

This doesn’t mean that heart types are always successful when it comes to making this connection. With their focus on relationships, they clearly perceive any lack of unity. They are oriented toward others and view themselves through the eyes of others; they imagine how others see them, what they think about them. For that reason, every heart type is interested in their image in a certain way and in making sure others don't end up having a bad image of them.

Heart types often have a tendency to feel ashamed precisely because they always have their antennas up for how others see them.

Tim (Type 4) avoids goodbyes. He often leaves without even saying goodbye, for example. To him, the moment of leaving a beloved person feels as though they were being torn apart. He perceives the other person as a part of himself. The feeling of having a deep connection with the other is what keeps him alive. The moment that such a connection ends can therefore feel as though Tim’s life itself were ending and he no longer has air to breathe.