Читать книгу Selling the Price Increase - Blount Jeb, Jeb Blount - Страница 17

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4 Developing Emotional Self-Control

Imagine that you're sitting at home when suddenly the doorbell rings. You weren't expecting a visitor.

You begin running through a series of images in your mind. Who might be at your door? A door-to-door salesperson, religious group, police, neighbor, politician, delivery, someone who wants to harm you?

With a measure of curiosity and trepidation, you open the door. But it's not any of the things you expected. There, standing before you, is a young, well-groomed Chinese man wearing soccer cleats. With suspicion in your voice you ask, “May I help you?”

Sporting a big grin, he responds, “Yes, I came by to ask if you would take a video of me playing soccer in your backyard.”

Imagine what your reaction might be to such a strange request. Then step into the soccer player's cleats and consider how you might feel standing on a stranger's steps making that same request. Both parties, in this weird moment, would be swept away by a sea of disruptive emotions.

This, by the way, is a true story of how Jia Jiang, an expert in rejection and emotional intelligence, became rejection proof.¹ Jiang built immunity to the fear of rejection by intentionally seeking it out.

Each day, he would make these same types of ridiculous requests of total strangers. At times, it was terrifying. He made video recordings of his physical response to rejection and recounted his emotional responses on a public blog. As he faced each new rejection and monitored his response, he became more aware of his emotions and how to control them.

Jiang learned that there is a difference between experiencing emotions and being caught up in them. This self-awareness opened the door to emotional discipline.

Awareness is the act of rising above your emotions and becoming a detached, dispassionate observer. It begins with learning to understand and anticipate the anxiety that comes with price increase conversations.

Through practice, Jia Jiang learned how to control his outward physiology despite the fear he felt. Like a duck, he projected relaxed, confident demeanor above the waterline, even though he was paddling frantically just below the surface.

Developing Obstacle Immunity

An obstacle is defined as something that obstructs or hinders progress – a seemingly insurmountable or difficult problem, or challenge that's in your way. And if we are being honest, that is how most price increase initiatives feel.

I've taken great pains to help you understand why price increases are so unpalatable, with two objectives:

1 I want you to know the underlying reasons why you feel the way you do so that you understand that there is nothing wrong with you. The fear of rejection is natural and human.
2 I want you to become aware of what you really fear, and with this awareness, open the door to helping you develop emotional discipline in the face of rejection.

The most effective way to learn how to conquer obstacles is to encounter them repeatedly until, instead of looking insurmountable, they seem easy. To become more effective with price increase conversations, you must first do the hard work of getting past your fears. I can explain the process, but I cannot do it or understand it for you.

You must make the decision, like I eventually did, that you are tired of wasting time and energy on worry, stress, and anxiety over your fears. It's up to you to decide that you no longer want to feel intimidated, insecure, and inferior when presenting or asking for price increases. You must decide to change.

Becoming Rejection Proof

Jia Jiang had hit rock-bottom. He needed investors to get his business off of the ground but he was terrified of asking for money. His dream of becoming an entrepreneur had been torpedoed by his deep fear of rejection.

Embarrassed, depressed, and desperate, he had an epiphany. His only hope for achieving his dream was to face rejection head-on. This is where Jiang's improbable journey through 100 days of rejection and eventual obstacle immunity began.

Jiang chronicles how he systematically exposed himself to all levels of rejection in his book Rejection Proof. By asking for money, custom doughnuts, temporary jobs, “burger refills” at a hamburger joint, and the chance to play soccer in a stranger's backyard – among dozens of other requests – he got nose-to-nose with emotional obstacles that would make the average human squirm.

Through this progressive exposure to rejection, a mindset shift occurred. As he became immune to his greatest obstacle, he developed an emotional callus that made it harder for rejection to pierce his thickening skin.

Emotional discipline in the face of potential rejection is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger you become. Which is exactly why avoiding price increase conversations makes you weaker.

Data from research studies indicate that when your self-esteem and confidence is low, you become even more susceptible to rejection.² When insecurity consumes you, it is very, very difficult to be successful while selling price increases.

As Jiang progressed through his 100 days of rejection, he began getting improbable yeses. These wins boosted his self-esteem and his confidence, leading to more wins. In a virtuous loop, his confidence made it harder for people to say “no,” which in turn improved his probability of getting a yes, which made him even more relaxed, confident, and assertive.

Four Keys to Developing Price Increase Obstacle Immunity

Adversity is your most powerful and impactful coach. Things that challenge you change you—most often for the better. Here are the four keys to developing obstacle immunity when selling price increases:

1 Be ready and open to gaining resilience through the crucible of adversity and pain.
2 Intentionally choose to put yourself in uncomfortable, rejection-dense situations.
3 Actively seek out rejection by asking confidently for what you want.
4 Push through the early pain until you ignite your own virtuous loop of confidence.

Once you begin intentionally facing fears and emotionally uncomfortable situations, you'll learn to anticipate the anxiety that comes right before the obstacle. You'll learn how to shift your internal self-talk and outward physical reaction to that fear.

Soon, the emotional rigors of approaching customers with price increases cease to phase you and it becomes routine. In other words, the more you do it, the more confident and self-assured you become.

Now that you've successfully completed 10 days of rejection, continue this exercise for the next 90 days until you have mastered this obstacle and become rejection proof.

Notes

1 1. Jia Jiang, Rejection Proof (New York: Harmony Books, 2015).
2 2. Amanda L. Chan, “This Is Why Rejection Hurts – and How to Cope with It,” Huffington Post (March 14, 2014). https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/this-is-why-rejection-hurts--and-how-to-cope-with-it/news-story/b9847b1469a5e0703b00605e21ed860e.

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