Читать книгу There Once Was a Prophet from Judah - Jeff Carter - Страница 10

Curses!

The Lord said, “If your wife goes astray

bring her to the priest without delay.

He will give her a drink

made of curses in ink

and her sex organs will waste away.”

Numbers 5:11–31

Won’t That Be Neat!

The Israelites complained, “We want meat.”

God was annoyed, so he said, “Fine! Eat!

To your groans I’ll submit;

I’ll feed you meat till it

leaks out your nostrils. Won’t that be neat?!”

Numbers 11:18–20

Don’t Ignore This

His story is found in the Torah.

It’s something you should not ignora:

he rebelled ‘gainst Moses,

and that was atrocious,

so the ground devoured old Korah.

Numbers 16:32

Poor Balaam

I should like to point out that Balaam

never, not once, did he regale ‘em

except with the true word

that he from Yahweh heard.

Why do we constantly assail ‘im?

Numbers 22:2–24:25

Unicorns

So I find myself somewhat forlorn

by Bible translations which are shorn

of that mythical beast

found in the Middle East,

for I believe in the unicorn.

Numbers 23:22; 24:8; Deuteronomy 33:17; Job 39:9–10; Psalm 22:21; 29:6; 92:10; Isaiah 34:7 in the KJV.

That’s Certainly Coitus Interrupted

Now Phinehas was zealous of course,

but may have used a bit too much force.

In a moment of zeal

with his spear of firm steel

he skewered the two mid-intercourse.

Numbers 25:6–8

Zelophehad’s Daughters

Biblical law was left incomplete

till Zelophehad’s daughters could meet

with Moses to request

that their father’s bequest

be delivered to them tout de suite.

Numbers 27:1–11