Читать книгу A Ghost's Story - Jenna Lynn Bretz - Страница 9

I was four years old the first time I met Liam O’Brien. Dressed in a pink sun dress with little white flowers and shiny black shoes, I stood next to my mother as a tall man, with hair like mine, approached us. He reached out, placing his hands on my mother’s shoulders. Then he kissed her forehead. My mother stood there free from expression. The man seemed annoyed but did not say anything. He stooped down, eyes level with mine. His face was very familiar. The same face I saw when looking into a mirror. Eyes green, like mine. The same strawberry blonde hair.

“Hello, young lady.”

“Hello.”

“Would you be Juliet?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then, I am pleased to meet your acquaintance.”

I turned to my mother. “Mommy, who is this man?”

“This is your father, Juliet.”

The man stood upright and reached for my mother’s hand, grasping it firmly with his own before she could pull it away. “I guess there is no reason for me to doubt it now, Mary Ann. I can see just by looking at her that she is mine.”

“So good of you to acknowledge that, Liam.”

“Don’t be cross, Mary. We had a brief encounter. Did you really expect me to believe you?”

“Why yes, Liam, I did!”

“Come on, Mary. I am sure you had lots of passing fancies to sort through.”

“No, Liam, only you. You were the only one.”

I could see tears welling up in her eyes, even though she bitterly fought them off. Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red. She began to use a tone with him unfamiliar to me. “What in God’s name do you want, Liam? Why are you bothering us?”

“I am getting married, Mary. My fiancé is unable to have children, and I want Juliet to be a part of our lives.”

Unable to hold back her tears any longer, my mother began to cry. She grabbed my hand and swiftly pulled me toward her. We began to walk away from this man.

“Don’t walk away, Mary. I am willing to help you provide for her. Make your life a little easier. But make no mistake, I will be a part of her life.”

My mother turned quickly, leaving me standing alone. She stormed toward the man and with a closed fist, struck him in the face. I never saw my mother act this way. It scared me, and I began to cry. The man rubbed his face where mother had socked him, then smiled at me and winked. My mother returned to me, picking me up and holding me tight.

“You stay away from us, Liam!”

I watched the man grow smaller and smaller. I could hear my mother’s heart beating in her chest as she ran away from him. She began to slow down once he was out of sight. I held on to her and patted her back, hoping to make her feel better. She had done the same for me, and it always seemed to comfort me. She finally stopped outside of the little bakery about a block from our apartment.

“How would you like a cupcake, Juliet?”

“Could I have a pink one?”

“If pink is what you want, pink is what you will get.”

Pink was always my favorite color.

We both smiled, and she took me inside. We spent the rest of the evening eating cupcakes and walking up and down the sidewalk. My mother taught me about the leaves on the trees. She explained photosynthesis and how to identify a tree by its leaves. I listened carefully and committed it to my memory, even though I was only four. The things she said, little things she would teach me, were always so important to me. I didn’t want to forget anything she said, my poor beautiful mother. If anyone deserved something good in life, it was her…

Many calls came from Liam over the next several weeks. I knew it was him by my mother’s reaction. She would talk very low, almost a whisper. Then once she had finished the conversation, she would become very quiet and faraway. I would try to help by hugging her and telling her how much I loved her. This always pulled her back. She would hold me and stroke my hair.

Then one day, there was a knock at the door. A man handed my mother some papers and requested her signature. She paced the floor as she read them. Then called me to her after she had finished, sitting me on her lap. “Juliet, do you remember the man we met a few weeks ago?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“That man is your father, Juliet.”

“Why?”

“Well, baby, that’s because I loved him very much a long time ago. Because I loved him so much, I was given you.”

“Did he give me to you?”

“Yes, yes, Juliet, he did. And now he wants to be your daddy. He wants you to come see him sometimes. Maybe stay with him for a little bit. But don’t worry. You and I will always be together. Spending time with him won’t change that.”

I believed her. I saw in her eyes that she meant every word she said. My mother had no choice but to let Liam into our lives. He would arrive every Saturday morning with his wife Angela to collect me. They would take me to their apartment where Angela would dress me up like I was some kind of doll. Often dressing me to match whatever she was wearing. I had fine clothes at Liam’s. But they would always change me back into the clothes my mother had either made for me or bought from a secondhand store, before returning me to her.

Angela was nice enough. She never mistreated me. She insisted that I call her Mommy. Instead, I made it a point to call her Angela. I had one mother and would not betray her by calling this other woman mommy. I made up my mind not to like Angela for my mother’s sake. I took every opportunity to act out at her expense. I would throw temper tantrums in the stores and restaurants that she took me to. Then cry uncontrollably when she tried to correct me. This was all an act, mind you. I did it for my mother. Not because she asked me to but because I owed it to her. I wanted to cause these two as much misery as they had caused her. Liam would plead with me to behave. He would bribe me with anything my heart desired. I could feel the rebellion well up in me when I was with them. I did nothing to try and hold it back. I did not want them to be happy when I knew my mother was at home, sad and alone. I had hoped that my behavior would become so unbearable that they would forego our weekends and let me stay with my mom. That never happened. Instead, Liam decided that I needed to see a child psychologist. My mother refused. So he got a court order. Then I was forced to go and see Dr. Ryder every Thursday. Which meant more time away from my mother. I was informed by Dr. Ryder that I could tell him anything, and he had to keep it a secret. And that the time I spent in his office was just between the two of us. So I came clean.

“I just want to stay with my mom.”

“I see. So you prefer to be with your mother?”

“Yes. I only act bad so they won’t want me anymore.”

“So your father and Angela won’t want you?”

“Yes. That way, I can stay with my mom. I am just pretending when I throw fits and cry.”

“I see. Well that’s very clever, Juliet. But I don’t think it’s going to work.”

“Why?”

“Because your father has brought you here. Which means he cares enough about you to find out why you are unhappy. That means that he loves you.”

“I don’t care if he loves me. I love my mom.”

“It is okay to love your dad too. That doesn’t mean you love your mom less.”

“I don’t even know him.”

“I understand, Juliet. This is why it is good for you to spend time with him and Angela. Maybe you could just give them a chance.”

I continued to see Dr. Ryder every Thursday for the next six months. I decided to give up the act so that I could have my Thursdays back with my mom. I let up on Liam and Angela. Liam felt that my newfound good behavior was the result of my therapy sessions. He made a point of telling my mother that he had been right to seek professional help. I would later let my mother in on the whole conspiracy and reassure her that I never really had any emotional problems.

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