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Chapter 3

Being: Watering the Seed of Mindfulness

“Of all the meditative wisdom practices that have developed in traditional cultures throughout the world and throughout history, mindfulness is perhaps the most basic, the most powerful, the most universal, among the easiest to grasp and engage in, and arguably, the most sorely needed now. For mindfulness is none other than the capacity we all already have to know what is actually happening as it is happening.” —Jon Kabat Zinn

At a recent meditation retreat, I spoke with a woman who had been a doctor before joining the monastic community as a teacher. I asked her, “Do you still practice medicine?” After a long pause, she looked directly into my eyes and said, “Brother, mindfulness is the best medicine.” I have shared this story with others, including a friend who has experienced stage-four cancer, who said, “Mindfulness practice has saved my life.” Whether we are ill or healthy, we should always focus on improving the quality of our lives.

In learning to care for ourselves as gardeners, we sought to have a beginner’s mind, including openness, faith, patience and acceptance so as to see in new ways. We also learned that we require silence, space and stopping to rest so we can renew ourselves. Mindfulness is a practice that supports everything else we have learned thus far. It means learning to be present in an openhearted way to what is occurring in us and around us. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our whole being to everything we do. It is a way of seeing—a lens—that will help us cultivate the seeds of love in others and ourselves. Mindfulness itself is a seed that, when watered, strengthens and grows, making us more alive and vibrant in the process, like a rose bush receiving the right nutrients, sunlight and water.

How wonderful it is to walk out into a beautiful garden, which offers a vision of what might be cultivated in the gardens of our homes and our consciousness through mindfulness. The practice of mindfulness is the ability to be truly aware and see what is happening within outer gardens and the gardens of our consciousness. The key practice and the essence of becoming a “master gardener” of our consciousness is to know how to nourish the seed of mindfulness.

“The practice is to nourish the seed of mindfulness so that it becomes a positive ‘habit energy’ and a means of transforming suffering in the form of negative seeds.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Mindful or Mindless?

Scattered weeds in the garden are no different than the stress we experience in our lives. Spiritual teacher and author of The Power of Now, Eckart Tolle says, “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there,’ or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It’s a split that tears you apart inside.” If we learned to focus on each moment and live fully in the present, we wouldn’t be swayed by the angst of the past or the worries or dreams of the future. As Matthew 6:34 reminds us, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Just as we have formed the habit energies of being in the past or the future, we have also unconsciously trained ourselves not to be in the here and now. In the same way we have learned to be “mindless,” we can consciously cultivate the positive habit energy of being mindful through an ongoing awareness of where our attention is at any given moment. We could be in Monet’s garden in Giverny but miss its beauty if we’re preoccupied by some concern. We could be sitting with our beloved, but if our mind is elsewhere, we are missing out on giving and receiving love, and on life itself, which is ultimately found only in the present moment.

“Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?” —Eckhart Tolle

When we are mindful, there is an awareness of what is happening in the present moment. We are fully experiencing our thoughts, feelings and what is happening within our bodies. We are conscious of our actions, whether it be walking to our car, eating a meal, or taking a drive in the country. We are more likely to move slowly through the day, attentive to what is happening and enjoying every moment, even daily rituals, as if they were happening for the first time.

When we are mindless, there is the tendency to operate on automatic pilot. We struggle to stay on task, and we frequently multi-task without realizing what we are doing. We find ourselves hurrying to reach our goal, only to find it difficult to slow down enough to enjoy reaching it.

Of course these are extremes, and most of the time operate with qualities of both mindfulness and mindlessness. In our aspiration to be more mindful, remember it is best to keep a “beginner’s mind” and an acceptance of what is happening in the present moment.

Mindfulness Is Being Aware and Remembering

When a famous teacher was asked what practice is most important, he always responded with one word—“Awareness!” Thinking he would expound on such a brief answer, students would often ask again, and again his response was “Awareness!” Our first step in cultivating the seed of mindfulness is to become aware of what we are experiencing within our body, mind and feelings at any given moment. This practice seems obvious, but think about the last time you talked with a friend. Were you truly with them, or was your mind focused on what your next response might be, or on other thoughts and feelings?

Coupled with awareness is the ability to remember. On a stained glass window at the Deer Park monastery in Escondido, California, there are three Sanskrit words: Smirti, Samadhi and Prajna. Smiriti is the word for mindfulness and translated literally means “to remember.” Samadhi is translated to mean “concentration,” and Prajna refers to “wisdom” or “insight.” So with awareness we are able to focus, gain insight, and discover if we are truly present to what is happening. With awareness we are more likely to remember what is important about a given moment, and every time we return to the present moment we cultivate the seed of mindfulness.

Make it a practice to remember to return fully to whatever you are engaged in at the present moment. This is not about remembering the past or to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home—it is to remember to return to this moment. Are you living it fully or off in a trance? If we allow ourselves to be easily swayed by every thought that arises, we will face far greater challenges in deeply enjoying the people and experiences in our life. By simply remembering to return to what you are doing now, you already have begun to water the seed of mindfulness.

“The heart of most spiritual practices is simply this: Remember who you are. Remember what you love. Remember what is sacred. Remember what is true. Remember that you will die and that this day is a gift. Remember how you wish to live.” —Wayne Muller

Cultivating Mindfulness

As we have learned, mindfulness is a process of being in the present moment, and it is cultivated by being aware, remembering, and returning again and again to what is happening. It is a practice of controlling our wandering minds. The acronym WIN—What’s Important Now—can remind us of this practice. This phrase can become a wonderful mantra for prioritizing your focus despite the many demands competing for your attention at any given time.

The ideal way to develop mindfulness is through the practice of meditation. When we meditate, we simply attend to what is happening in that moment. If we are formally meditating, our attention is often focused on our breath or a word or phrase. If we are tending to the garden, our focus is on the planting, weeding and watering. Whether in formal meditation or informally connecting with daily life, we can apply the insights from meditation and other contemplative practices, such as prayer, to everyday life. In many small ways, we can learn ways to stop and calm ourselves in every moment. Once we have gained this realization we are able to look deeply and create understanding of what is happening NOW. With the ability to stop, calm and look deeply we slowly discover that we are practicing and watering the seed of mindfulness.

Stopping

The first step in any type of meditation—and the key to developing mindfulness—is learning how to stop. In stopping, we let go of the past and future and dwell in the present moment. Each day offers us many opportunities to cultivate the art of stopping—stop signs, people, bells, or an entire day of rest such as the Sabbath. Stopping does not require us to come to a halt; rather, we are to pause and heed what is happening in the moment.

What might stopping look like in your life? Take a moment to lay this book aside, stop reading—in fact, stop everything for the next several minutes, and just be. Now, explore what you’ve just experienced. Typically, people discover sights they haven’t been seeing, sounds they haven’t been hearing. They become aware of the busyness and over-activity of the their minds.

Learning to stop requires a conscious awareness and a cultivation of this skill. Two practices that support stopping—bells and gratitude—require us to bring our attention fully into the present moment, which often works best by taking a conscious breath or two to center yourself in the moment.

Bells

Historically temple and church bells have reminded people to stop and pray, reflect or meditate. They announce the time of day, alert us to special events, and remind us who may need our support. Whether the ringing of a phone or the oven timer at the end of its cycle, “bells of mindfulness” are a reminder to stop, to pause.

In meditation, bells are a metaphor for mindful awareness, but other reminders can be just as effective. Several years ago, a deaf student took my mindfulness course. Aware that she could not hear the bell, I asked her what “bells of mindfulness” she could incorporate into her life. She responded very tenderly with the help of her signer, “My baby is my bell of mindfulness. Every time I hold her and feed her, I feel fully present, and at no other time do I feel so mindful. I recognize that I naturally breathe more slowly, and in the process we both become more relaxed and connected. These are moments of great joy and peace.”

One of my joys is the opportunity to perform wedding ceremonies. During the service, I use a large bell to invite guests to pause and reflect on various important parts of the ceremony. In my parting words to the couple, I recommend that they stop when they hear bells and remember their commitment to each other. The bells of our lives offer reminders of the preciousness of life, the sacredness of the moment, and the value of each other.

Ideally your practice will reach the point where no sound is necessary, and just the thought or sight of your loved one is enough to cause you to pause and be mindful of your relationships. At those times, stop and take a breath, enjoy the present moment, and heed the call to mindfulness.

“Tenple bells stop but the sound keeps coming out in the flowers”

—Basho

Gratitude

Every day presents countless opportunities to stop and appreciate the moment. When such a moment arises, reflect on all the people and gifts that have made that moment possible, and be grateful for them. Gratefulness keeps us in the present moment. Theologian Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer we ever said was ‘Thank you,’ it would suffice.” My favorite simple practice is to stop and be present with everyone who offers a service, such as the clerk at the post office, the barista at the coffee shop, or the gas station attendant. I offer a genuine smile and say, “Thank you for being here and for your wonderful service.”

Calming

Another function of meditation and a key to developing mindfulness is focusing, which is best developed by calming ourselves. I tend to find it easier to stop and much more challenging to calm and quiet my busy mind. One of the most powerful things we can do to strengthen the “muscle” of our attention and mindfulness is to return to what we are doing over and over again throughout the day. Try not to get frustrated, and remember the words of St. Francis de Sales, “Even if you bring yourself back 1,000 times, it will be worth it.” Calming strengthens our concentration by focusing on something repetitively, such as our breath, mantras or short phrases, prayers and flowers. Calming will also help us recognize and become aware of feelings and bodily sensations when they arise. As we become quiet we then have the opportunity to embrace these feelings.

When we are calm we learn to recognize what is happening in the present moment. In this state we can deeply experience this moment through our sense and feelings and learn to accept this moment as it is. The recognition of one breath is often enough to bring us back, help us focus, and strengthen our ability to concentrate.

You practiced stopping earlier. This time, stop and place your attention on something. Focus on the senses—truly note what you are seeing and hearing. Focus on your breath—experience fully the in-breath and out-breath, and continue doing this for a few minutes. Notice that as you focus on something, just for a moment, other thoughts and worries naturally recede and the mind becomes calmer. Whatever your point of our focus, be it our senses or the person we are with, focusing can help us to calm ourselves.

Looking Deeply

In stopping and calming, we have learned to become more relaxed and mindful in the present moment. At this point we have the concentration needed to look deeply, and discover and understand the source of our current feelings. This process will be invaluable as we explore the various seeds in the garden of our consciousness. “Hello, Anger. Where did you come from? Why are you here at this time?”

In looking deeply we will also discover in the ones we love the reasons they are suffering, and we will be able to clearly see that their suffering is also our suffering. By using mindfulness, you will discover ways to look deeply at the seeds that need tending within yourself and others.

Practices to Develop Mindfulness

We need a variety of practices to deepen this skill and strengthen the habit energy of mindfulness, just as we need a variety of exercises to strengthen our bodies. These practices can be easily integrated into our daily life, affording us moments to remember, stop, calm, and return to the present moment.

MINDFUL BREATHING

Breathing in, I calm my body; breathing out, I smile.

Our life begins with breath and ends with breath. The average individual takes nearly 20,000 breaths each day. By stopping to practice conscious breathing at different times during the day, we are able to calm ourselves with the awareness of our in-breath and out-breath, inhalation and exhalation. In this practice, mind and body are connected, and the word “respiration” takes on its root meaning—to “re-spirit.” By dwelling in each moment with breath as our anchor, we cultivate the energy and seed of mindfulness. When practicing mindful breathing, thoughts subside, the energy of mindfulness is encouraged, and we return instantly to fully experiencing the present moment.

MINDFUL WALKING

The practice of mindful walking is simply that of learning to be aware of each step you take. We often walk with little awareness, our mind focused on getting somewhere and often getting there quickly. The challenge in mindful walking is to walk knowing that you are walking. You bring your walking into your awareness so that walking itself becomes a form of meditation. Each step brings us back to our breath and the present moment. It is the bridge between the formal practice of meditation and informal activity of everyday life. When we walk only briefly in this way, we are reminded that our life is a walk. The more we become aware of our steps, the more we find peace along the way.

ANSWERING THE PHONE

Our technology-laden world offers countless possibilities to cultivate mindfulness. Cell phones, office phones and other bells can become invitations to stop, breathe, smile, and calm before engaging in dialogue. For example, when the phone rings, you could say a mantra before answering, such as, “Breathing in, I calm my body; breathing out, I relax.” My wife and I have a practice of stopping to breathe every time our Westminster-style chime strikes on the hour. Our answering machine message greets callers with, “Breathe and smile! You have reached the Brazas.” These and other simple, daily, focused actions enhance the energy of mindfulness.

MINDFUL EATING

This simple practice focuses on the total enjoyment of your meal. Taking time to eat quietly for ten minutes before talking can offer a refuge of peace and time to appreciate the food. Slowing down long enough to recognize how many hands brought this food to our plates helps us to be truly grateful for this meal. With this sense of gratitude, the entire meal is the blessing. In every bite we have the opportunity to cultivate mindfulness by recognizing the amount, taste, and nourishment this food is providing our bodies. Being mindful of each bite and eating more slowly can also be an effective weight-loss plan and an antidote to careless eating.

“Engaging in mindful eating, even if only for a few minutes, can help you recognize how the practice of mindfulness encompasses all spheres and activities, including ordinary tasks.”

—Thich Nhat Hanh

UNI-TASK VS. MULTI-TASK