Читать книгу Special Deliveries Collection - Kate Hardy - Страница 71

The drive to the farm didn’t dispel Brady’s sour thoughts. With every mile, one fact burned in his mind. If Sam hadn’t been such a control freak, Brady would have known about Amber from the beginning. Whether he would have returned or not would have been on Brady. He could have been the deadbeat, but they would never know.

When he parked near the house, the anger Brady had been repressing for years churned within his gut. Maggie had been silent the whole car ride.

“Why don’t you go in and get Amber. I need to talk to Sam.” Brady didn’t wait for Maggie’s reply before heading to the barn where music played.

He pushed open the barn door and stopped. Amber was in the process of painting a wooden chair while Sam tinkered with his tractor.

“Morning, Daddy.” She smiled at him from her task.

“Morning. Why don’t you run in and get cleaned up?” Brady waited while she rushed to the house.

Sam wiped his hands on a greasy rag. “That kid can sure pack away the food. I think she ate more than me.”

The whole world was off-kilter this morning. First the diner and now Sam acting as if Amber had always been a part of their family. “Don’t act like you like having my kid around.”

“Why not? She’s a good kid.” Sam looked over the tools on the workbench.

“If you thought she was such a good kid, why wait eight years to tell me about her? All you had to do was tell Luke, if you were worried about being the first to cave.”

“Is that what you think happened?” Sam was a little too cool for Brady’s taste.

“Just another way for you to control everything on this farm.” Brady paced the barn door opening. “You interfered with my life. With Maggie’s and Amber’s lives. Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

Sam set down the tools as if he didn’t trust having them in his hand before he faced Brady. “I was protecting you.”

“By keeping Amber a secret? How the hell was that protecting me?” Brady could feel the burn on the back of his neck as anger pulsed through him.

“What would you have done if you’d known?”

“I sure as hell wouldn’t have expected Maggie to take care of everything. I would have done something.” Brady felt flustered. He had no idea what he would have done.

“For God’s sake, Brady, Mom raised you better than that.”

“Where do you get off—”

“Do you think my life has been all that great? Do you think I wouldn’t have given anything to be able to get away for at least a while?”

Brady hadn’t given it much thought. It had always been Sam who would take over the farm.

“I did everything in my power to make sure you and Luke were able to live the lives you wanted. Did I make some crappy decisions along the way? Hell, yeah. What do you want? I was only twenty years old with the responsibility of two younger brothers and a farm to deal with. I was happy Luke graduated at all.”

“You didn’t have to—”

“Didn’t I? Think, Brady. Who did Mom turn to when Dad died? She asked me to stay and I did. I don’t regret the decision, but sometimes I hate it. I hate the farm and I hate our parents for leaving me with everything.”

“I tried to help.”

“Your ambition has always outstripped this town. Did I want to see you get stuck here in a marriage you felt obligated to offer? Watch you turn bitter and disillusioned about life?”

“It was my life. My choice. You could have trusted me to make the right one.” Brady’s chest hurt as if Sam had punched him. “And even if I had been impulsive at twenty, why wait eight years before letting anyone know?”

Sam’s lips tightened and his brow furrowed. He turned to the tractor without another sound.

His silence was the only proof Brady needed. As much as Sam had claimed he needed Brady, he hadn’t wanted him around.

“Dammit, Sam. Not this time. You don’t get to turn your back on me and act like a freaking martyr. If you aren’t going to say anything, you might as well listen.”

Brady took a deep breath to clear his mind. “Eight years. You could have told me anytime in eight years. You could have waited until I was older and time had healed whatever wounds I had, but you didn’t. You owe an explanation to me.”

“A month ago, I had to get a chest X-ray for insurance. My heart is enlarged, but since I don’t have any other symptoms, I’m monitoring my blood pressure and going to the cardiologist in a month.”

It felt as if the floor fell out beneath Brady’s feet. “You’re sick? Have you told Luke?”

“What? So he can stare at me like you are?” Sam moved around to the other side of the tractor, obscuring his face from Brady’s view. “I’m fine. I feel fine. I thought you should know about your daughter since you came back to the States. In case something happened to me.” Sam the martyr. Brady hated this side of Sam.

“We can’t fix the past, Sam. What’s done is done. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help more. I’m sorry that I left you to raise Luke on your own. I’m sorry you had to take on everything. I’m sorry about your heart.”

“That’s an awful lot of sorry,” Sam grumbled. Brady sighed. Sam wouldn’t even lift his gaze.

“I know you won’t say you’re sorry for what you’ve done.” Brady let the anger slip away. “But I forgive you.”

“I painted a whole chair by myself,” Amber proclaimed in the car.

Brady had been stiff and silent since the conversation with Josh at the diner. Maggie wondered if she should talk about New York. Last night had been wonderful, but it wouldn’t work long-term. If she kept sleeping with him, she would fall deeper in love with him.

“Sam wouldn’t let the dogs sleep with me last night, even after I threatened to sleep outside.” Amber gave her prettiest fake pout.

“Dog kisses, yuck.” Maggie made a face for Amber.

“When I’m older, I want to have ten dogs.”

The car slowed to a stop at her house. Maggie dared a glance at Brady’s profile. He seemed to be processing something.

“Here’s my key. Amber, go inside and get ready for lunch.”

Amber wrapped her arms around Brady’s shoulders from behind. “Are you staying for lunch, Daddy?”

“Maybe, but I might have to go.” He touched her arm with his hand. “We’ll do something fun this week together. I promise.”

“’Kay.” Amber bounced out of the car. Within seconds, she disappeared into the house.

“You know what I can’t get out of my mind?” Brady stared straight forward through the windshield and into the distance.

“No, I don’t.” But she wanted to know.

“How much better my life would have been if you and Amber had been in it all along.”

Not exactly what she thought he would say. She couldn’t keep it inside anymore. “We can’t move to New York.”

That got his attention. She wanted to clap her hands over her mouth and take it back.

“It’s scary, Maggie, but we can make this work.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m sure your life is great in New York. You don’t know how flattered I am that you want me and Amber to be part of that, but…” She wished she hadn’t put that disappointment in his eyes.

“We can take it slow. It doesn’t have to happen right away.” He traced the line of her cheekbone with the back of his fingers. “Think about it?”

“It’s not going to happen, Brady,” Maggie said firmly. “Our lives are here. New York isn’t the best thing for Amber and me. I know how attached you’ve become to Amber. We’ll visit and our door is open anytime you want to come down.”

“Marry me.”

“What?” She leaned against the car door.

“We have a wonderful daughter. We’re obviously compatible in bed. It would guarantee that I wouldn’t just leave you in New York alone. If that’s what it takes to have you with me, that’s what I’m willing to do.”

Her heart stopped pounding for a moment. Had he just rationalized a marriage proposal? When she’d found out she was pregnant, she’d hoped for this. For him to offer to take care of her forever, but when he didn’t show up, she’d had to become stronger and start taking care of everything herself. No one was going to sweep in and do everything for her.

“If you’d known about Amber, you would have proposed to me because it was the so-called right thing to do. But you didn’t love me then, any more than you love me now. I would have said yes because I was scared out of my mind to be alone.”

“It doesn’t have to be about love. It makes sense for us to be together for Amber.”

“Don’t you see, Brady? I’m not scared anymore.” She rolled her shoulders back and opened the door. “I’ve raised Amber on my own. I don’t want ‘good enough.’”

He opened his mouth.

Maggie smiled even as her eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Brady Ward. But I don’t think you could ever love me the way I deserve to be loved.”

Before he could change her mind, she slipped from the car and hurried into the house.

“Peterson has a meeting with Kyle on Wednesday. He wants to put an ax in our project.”

Brady looked up at the sky, wondering why he’d suddenly become some butt of a cosmic joke. Everything seemed to be going wrong. The report on his computer screen claimed the project was aiming to go over budget in thirty days. That couldn’t be correct. Brady had been diligent in making sure the budget was spot-on.

“Have you talked with Kyle?” Brady rubbed his hand over his hair and looked out over the farm from the top of the hill.

“I’m going to go in tomorrow morning, but your files have disappeared from the server.” Jules sounded as upset as he felt. “This project is going to die before it got started.”

Which wouldn’t look good for either of them since a significant amount of money had been spent up front. Brady had lost his brother and possibly Maggie and Amber. He couldn’t lose his job, as well. What more could he do here? At least if he went to New York, he could fix the project. After all, it seemed as if work was the only thing he was good at.

“Schedule with Kyle for tomorrow morning. I’ll call my assistant and book on the next plane out.”

“Brady, you don’t have to do that. Email me the files. I’ll try to reconstruct what you did. You have your family to worry about.”

Sam walked from the house to the barn. A small figure on the gravel drive below. Sam had almost sacrificed the farm to keep giving money to Maggie for Amber from what Brady sent home. Sam had given up his dreams so Brady and Luke could have a chance at theirs. He’d gone about it the wrong way, but he’d been as young and impulsive as they had been.

For once, Brady wanted to make Sam proud, to honor that sacrifice. This was what Brady was good at.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Jules.” Brady hung up the phone. He double-checked to make sure the files weren’t on the company server before logging out. A quick phone call and he was on the next flight headed to New York. He would save this project and he’d go on with life as it always had been. Maybe Maggie would come to her senses after a while.

But first, he had to say goodbye.

After several moments of searching through the winding rooms of the barn, he found Sam in the back garage. A stripped-down version of a ’69 GTO sat on wheel ramps.

“Is this your old car from high school?” Brady strode forward to touch the silver hood. “I remember when you and Dad worked on it that summer.”

“I remember you kept trying to help and how I wished you would just go away,” Sam said from under the car.

“I felt the same way.” Brady smiled at the memory. Each of them vied for their dad’s attention but Sam had always won.

“I tried to go away.”

“I’d almost forgotten about when you went to college.” Brady leaned against the workbench in a space that looked a little less dirty. “You went to Iowa State. Mom and Dad were so proud. You’d only been there a week when Dad had his heart attack.”

Sam rolled out from under the car and sat on the creeper. “I got home in time to say goodbye. Dad told me that you were all my responsibility now.”

“You never told me that.” Brady lifted a hammer that had been around the farm longer than he had.

“You didn’t need to know.” Sam rested his arms on his knees.

Brady let his gaze roam over the old car that he used to want so badly. He’d begged Sam to let him ride in it. Eventually, Sam had caved and took him around the back roads. It had been like flying. “I have to go back to New York. A situation has come up at work.”

“You don’t owe me any explanation.” Sam’s voice was gruff.

“Actually, I owe you an apology. I ran out on you and Luke, and when you didn’t try to reach out, I thought you were telling me to stay away. I didn’t mean for things to end up like this. I should have been here with you.”

Sam stood. “I wished I could trade places with you. That you would be the one stuck on the farm with no escape, while I was the one living the good life somewhere far away.

“There’s no need to apologize, Brady. I wanted you here, but I wanted you to have a better life outside of Tawnee Valley. To make something out of yourself and make our parents proud.”

“They’d be proud of you, Sam.” Brady took in a deep breath inhaling the smell of old oil and grease and that slight hint of dirt. Things that would always make him think of his dad and Sam. “Why didn’t you tell me about all this?”

“Because you were angry and hurt when you left. Because I was angry and hurt that you were leaving. I didn’t know how to make it okay after everything that had been said. You were better off without me.”

“I’ve never been better off without you, Sam. If anything, I should have let you know that. I want to work on this. I want to be part of this family again. I want what Mom would have wanted, us three brothers together.” He held out his hand to Sam. “Do you think that’s possible?”

“I hope so.” Sam took his hand and jerked him into a quick one-armed hug.

“I’ll try to come back soon.” This time Brady meant it. He would schedule it months in advance if he had to, but he would make sure that he had time to visit Tawnee Valley. He had one last stop before leaving town. One last chance to convince Maggie to come with him.