Читать книгу Special Deliveries Collection - Kate Hardy - Страница 86

A few days later, Amanda realized she had forgotten just how much she enjoyed small-town Fourth of July celebrations.

All of Royal seemed to be gathered at the park. The sun glared down from a brassy sky and promised to get even hotter as the day wore on. Nobody seemed to mind much. Texans were a tough bunch and no matter how miserable the heat and humidity, they didn’t let it get in the way of a good time.

There was a community baseball game in full swing on the diamond. Picnic blankets dotted the grass and families settled in for a long day that wouldn’t end until after the big fireworks show. Kids raced through the park, laughing and shouting, oblivious to the heat that was already beginning to wilt their parents.

Dozens of game booths were scattered around the park, each of them offering chances to win everything from goldfish to teddy bears. And at the far end of the parking lot, a small carnival had set up shop and the taped calliope music was fiercely cheerful.

Amanda grinned at the little boy in front of the booth she was manning. He was about six, with a missing front tooth, hair that was too long and a T-shirt already stained with what looked like mustard. At the moment, he was biting his lip and considering the last softball he held. He had already gone through most of his pocket money, buying chances to knock over bowling pins with the softball to win a prize.

“It sure is harder than it looks, ma’am,” he said with a shake of his head.

“It is, isn’t it?” Amanda was trying to figure out a way she could “help” the boy win, when Nathan walked up.

A now familiar flash of excitement zipped through her at just the sight of him. He wore a beige uniform shirt, with the sheriff star on his chest glittering in the sunlight. His jeans were faded, his boots were scuffed and his hat was pulled low enough on his forehead to throw his eyes into shadow.

It had been a few days since their night by the river and since then, things had been…different between them. Well, of course—they’d had sex. Things would be different, not that they’d slept together since. But there was less tension between them. And, she thought wistfully, more confusion.

“Afternoon, Amanda,” he said, then shifted his gaze to the boy. “Carter, how you doing?”

“Not so good, Sheriff,” the boy answered and scowled at the one softball he had left to throw. “I figured I’d win one of those teddy bears for my baby sister.” He shrugged. “Girls like that sort of thing, but like I told Miss Amanda, it’s a lot harder than it looks.”

“What’re you doin’ running around on your own? Where’re your folks?”

Carter pointed over one shoulder at a young family sitting on a blanket under a tree. “They’re all right there.”

“That’s good.” Nathan dropped one hand on the boy’s narrow shoulder, then ruffled his hair. “Maybe we can try together, what do you think?”

The boy looked up at him as if Nathan were wearing a cape and had just swooped in to the rescue.

Amanda watched Nathan with the child and swallowed a sigh. If she hadn’t lost their baby, it would now be about this boy’s age. Boy? Or girl? It had been too early to know at the time, but that hadn’t stopped her from wondering. From picturing what her child with Nathan might have been like. And in this boy, with the light brown hair and brown eyes, she saw…what might have been. And the tiny ache that settled in the corner of her heart felt like an old friend.

“How about I give you a hand?” Nathan asked, then flashed a smile at Amanda. “That is, if Miss Amanda doesn’t mind.”

“That’d be great, Sheriff,” Carter answered, then turned to Amanda and asked, “Is it okay?”

“Well, you know, back when the sheriff was in high school, he was the star pitcher.”

Nathan smiled at her as if pleased she remembered. How could she forget? She’d spent hours in the bleachers at Royal high school, watching Nathan play ball. And every time he went up to bat, he’d look at her first, as if he were checking she was still there, still watching.

“Really?” Carter brightened up even further.

“No pressure,” Nathan muttered with a shake of his head.

“C’mon, Sheriff,” she said and stood back as Nathan took the ball from Carter and tossed it in the air a couple times to get its weight. “Show us what you’ve got.”

He nodded at the boy then winked at Amanda. “Well, now, let’s see what we can do.”

He wound up, threw the ball and sent three bowling pins clattering to the floor. Carter whooped with delight and even Amanda had to applaud.

“You won, Sheriff!” Carter clapped, too. “Nice throw!”

Amanda picked up one of the teddy bears lining the prize shelf and handed it to Nathan, who gave it to Carter.

“My baby sister’s gonna like this a lot. Thanks, Sheriff!” Clutching the bear, the boy took off and was swallowed by the crowd moments later.

Amanda looked up at Nathan and smiled in approval. “That was nice of you.”

“Carter’s a good kid.” Nathan shrugged and leaned one hip against the edge of the booth. His gaze swept up and down her body thoroughly until she felt a heat that had nothing to do with a hot Texas day.

“So,” he said, “how’d you come to be running the PTA booth?”

“Patti Delfino had to take care of the baby so I offered to help.”

“Falling right back into life in Royal, huh?”

“It wasn’t that hard,” she said. Although being around him was. She didn’t know where they stood. Didn’t know what was going to happen next. They’d had that one incredible night together and since then…nothing. Well, except for him stopping in at the diner a few times a day. But they hadn’t been alone again and she was hungering for him. Did he feel the same? Or had he considered that night a one-time thing? A sort of goodbye to the past?

The questions running through her mind were driving her crazy.

A little girl ran up and patted Nathan’s thigh to get his attention. When he looked down at her, the girl’s big blue eyes fixed on him. “I wanna teddy bear, too.”

“You do, huh?” He grinned and looked at Amanda. “Apparently Carter’s bragging how he got hold of his bear.”

“And what are you going to do about it, Sheriff?” Amanda teased.

He dug in his wallet and slapped down a twenty-dollar bill. “Guess I’ll be throwing softballs.”

The little girl clapped and bounced up and down in excitement. Amanda handed him three softballs to get him started and then stood back and watched as he mowed through the prize shelf. Over and over again, he threw the balls at the bowling pins and soon he had a crowd of kids surrounding him, each of them waiting to be handed one of the stuffed bears.

Amanda watched him, saw his eyes shining with pleasure, heard him laughing with the children and a part of her wept for what they might have had together. He was so good with kids. He would have been a wonderful father if only.

By the time it was over, the bears were all gone and the last of the children had wandered off, clutching their prizes. When it was just Nathan and Amanda again, he said, “Looks like you’re out of business. What do you say we find Patti and hand over the cash box, then you and I go join Jake and Terri for some lunch?”

“Aren’t you on duty?”

“I can keep an eye on things—and you—at the same time.”

Pleasure whipped through her as she grabbed up the metal cash box and swung her legs over the side of the booth. “I think I’ll let you.”

He took her hand in his and as they walked through the mob of people, Amanda felt that sense of rightness again. Did he feel it, too?

The rest of the day went by in a sort of blur. It had been so long since Amanda had really enjoyed a Fourth of July. When she was away, she would sit on the balcony of her apartment and watch distant fireworks alone. She could have gone out with friends, but her heart hadn’t been in it. Instead, she had wished to be back here. At home in Royal.

And the town wasn’t disappointing her.

After lunch with Jake and Terri and the kids, Nathan and Amanda spent the rest of the day with them. Nathan was called away a few times to settle disputes ranging from an argument over the umpire’s call on the baseball field to a broken windshield in the parking lot. He always came back, though, and Amanda saw that with his family, Nathan was more relaxed. More ready to enjoy himself than she remembered him ever being before.

Back in the day, he’d been too driven, too determined to carve out the life he wanted to take the time to slow down with family. Maybe, she thought, they’d both changed enough over the years that they could find a way back to each other.

With the fireworks about to start, Jake and Nathan walked the kids over to get some Sno-Kones, while Amanda and Terri settled on the quilt and waited for the show.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Terri said abruptly.

“Oh, me, too. Believe me.” Amanda looked around the park at all the familiar faces and smiled to herself. Older couples sat in lawn chairs, holding hands, gazes locked on the sky. Young marrieds herded small children and the older kids raced through the park waving sparklers, flashes of light trailing behind them like high-tech bread crumbs.

Whatever happened between her and Nathan, Amanda was home to stay. “I really did miss this place.”

“Hmm,” Terri mused. “You missed Royal? Or Nathan?”

“Sadly, both.” Terri knew her too well to believe a lie, so why not admit the truth? “But that doesn’t mean anything, Terri.”

“Sure it does,” she said, biting into one of the last pecan cookies with relish. “It means you guys belong together. Everybody knows that.”

“Everybody but Nathan,” Amanda muttered, glancing at her friend. Terri was tiny, trim and summer cute in a hot pink sundress with spaghetti straps. Her long, dark brown hair was in a single braid that hung down the middle of her back.

As Amanda watched her, Terri licked a crumb from her bottom lip and popped the rest of the cookie into her mouth. As she chewed, she said, “Nathan’s been on edge since you got back.”

“Great. On edge.”

Terri just stared at her for a second, then shook her head. “Seriously? Do you know nothing about men? On edge is just where you want them. That way they’re never sure which way to turn.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Amanda asked with a laugh.

“Absolutely.” Terri grabbed a bottle of water and took a long drink. “Why would you want Nathan all relaxed and complacent about you?”

She hadn’t thought about it that way, but now she was. Maybe Terri had a point. Kicking off her sandals, Amanda folded her legs under her. Bracing her elbows on her knees, she cupped her chin in her hands and looked at her friend. “So, you keep Jake guessing, do you?”

“All the time, sweetie,” Terri assured her with a laugh. “Why do you think he adores me so?”

“Because he’s smart enough to know how good he’s got it?”

“Well, that, too.” Terri laughed. “But mostly because I keep him on his toes. He’s never sure what I’ll do next.”

As she reached for another cookie, Amanda shook her head. “How do you stay so thin when you eat like this?”

“Won’t be thin for long,” Terri said with a smile and a gentle pat on her belly. “I’m pregnant again.”

Instantly, Amanda felt a quick slice of envy poke at her. Terri had three wonderful kids and a husband who really did adore her. While Amanda was happy for her friend, it was hard not to wish that her own life was as full.

“I saw that,” Terri said and reached out to pat Amanda’s hand. “Sweetie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel badly.”

“Don’t be silly.” Amanda squeezed her hand and shook her head. “I’m happy for you. Really. I just …” She looked out over the park again, toward the booth where Jake and Nathan shepherded twin five-year-old boys and a darling two-year-old girl. As she watched, Nathan scooped up little Emily and cradled her in one arm. The girl laid her head on Nathan’s chest and snuggled in. Smiling sadly, she looked at Terri and admitted, “Sometimes I just wish things were different.”

Terri sighed. “Sweetie, maybe it’s time to stop wishing and start making things different.”

Amanda looked back at Nathan in time to see him laugh at something one of the twins said. A jolt of longing hit her hard. That smile of his would always turn her to butter.

Maybe Terri was right, she thought. Maybe it was time to take a stand. To fight for what she wanted. And what she wanted was Nathan.

When the fireworks started, Nathan settled down beside her and Amanda leaned her head back against his broad chest. They stared up at the sky, which was exploding with sound and color. He wrapped one arm around her and held her close and, despite the fact that they were surrounded by people, Amanda felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

The next morning, Amanda woke up to Nathan’s kiss at the back of her neck. She smiled lazily, remembering the long night before. After the fireworks, they’d come back to her apartment over the diner and created a few fireworks of their own.

“Good morning.”

“Mmm,” he murmured, dragging one hand down her side, following the dip of her waist and the curve of her hip. “It’s looking pretty good right now.”

She smiled, then sighed as his hand moved to slide across her behind. Somehow, they’d crossed a bridge yesterday. Maybe it was the hours spent with his family. Maybe it was just that enough time had passed for them both to realize that they wanted to be together. Whatever the reason, Nathan had stayed here with her last night, not caring that the town gossips would surely notice his car parked in front of her place all night.

When he shifted his hand to cup her breast, Amanda hissed in a breath and rolled onto her back so she could look up at him. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of that. His dark eyes could flash with temper, shine with kindness or, like right now, glitter with desire. She lifted one hand to his cheek and scrubbed at his whiskers with her thumb.

Smiling, she whispered, “I’m glad you stayed last night.”

“Me, too,” he told her and gave her a long, slow, deep kiss that quickened the still-burning embers inside her. “And I’d really like to stay now, but I’ve gotta get to work.”

She glanced at the window, where the soft, early-morning light was sifting through the curtains. “Me, too.”

He kissed her again and tenderness welled up between them, stinging Amanda’s eyes and tearing at her heart. This is what she wanted. Nathan, all of Nathan. Not just the fire that quickened her blood and made her heart race—but the warmth that touched her soul and made her yearn.

When he lifted his head and looked down into her eyes, he whispered, “Maybe I don’t have to leave right this minute.”

She nodded and cupped his face in her hands. “I think I could spare some time, too.”

And this time when he kissed her, she forgot about everything else and let herself slide into a sensual haze that only he could create.

“Did you hear that?” Pam stopped in front of JT and automatically refilled his coffee cup.

“Hear what?”

“Hannah Poole was telling Bebe Stryker about Nathan’s car being out front of the diner all night.”

JT sighed, shook his head and took a sip of coffee. “What do you care about that?”

She looked at him as if he’d just grown another head. “The whole town’s talking about Nathan and Amanda. If it gets bad enough, he’ll leave again.”

“Not a chance,” JT muttered but Pam hardly heard him.

“I can’t believe Amanda’s starting up with him again.” Huffing out a breath, she added, “I can’t believe Nathan would want her again. After what she did …”

JT’s eyes narrowed. “Thought you didn’t like gossip.”

She flushed. “I don’t.”

“Then maybe you should give your sister the benefit of the doubt on all that old stuff.” Frowning, he added, “I never believed it for a second.”

“You, too?” she demanded in a harsh whisper. “You’re going to be on Amanda’s side?”

“Not taking sides,” he said, pausing for a sip of coffee. “I’m just saying, you’re her sister. You should know her better than anyone else and I’m thinking you didn’t believe any of that nonsense people were talking about years ago, either.”

She flushed again and wasn’t happy about JT making her feel guilty. “It’s always Amanda,” she said bitterly. “Nathan’s never looked at me the way he looks at her. How can anyone be so blind?”

“Was wondering the same thing myself,” JT answered and stood up. He dropped money on the counter and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Pam.”

She watched him go and felt a twinge of regret for fighting with her best friend, but honestly. Since he was her best friend, shouldn’t he understand how she felt about all of this? Shouldn’t he be on her side?

The more she thought about it, the angrier she became, and watching Hannah Poole scurry to yet another table to spread the word about Nathan and Amanda was all the impetus she needed to go and face down her sister.

“What is wrong with you?”

Amanda’s sister stormed into the office at the back of the diner a couple of hours later. Morning sunshine streamed through the window and the scent of coffee and fresh cinnamon rolls flavored the air-conditioned air. Amanda sighed and dropped her pen to the desk as the last, lingering effects of early-morning lovemaking disappeared with one look at the woman facing her. Pam’s eyes were narrowed, a flush stained her cheeks and her mouth was set in a tight, grim line.

Amanda set aside the paperwork she was laboring over and thought she’d even take a fight with Pam over filling out the supply list for the coming week. She hated paperwork and Pam knew it. So, naturally, her sister had completely abdicated that task the minute Amanda came back to town.

She had really hoped that Pam calling and asking for her help meant that her older sister was going to welcome her home. But, if anything, Pam’s antagonism seemed fiercer than ever.

Her conversation with Piper ran through Amanda’s mind as she looked at Pam, quietly fuming. Jealousy? Was it possible? If so, Amanda didn’t know how she would fix what was wrong between her and her sister. Because she wasn’t about to give up Nathan to make Pam feel better.

“What’re you talking about?”

Pam stepped into the office and closed the door quietly behind her with a soft click. Then she leaned against that door, hands behind her back. “You know exactly what I mean, Amanda. The whole town is talking about you. And Nathan.”

Her stomach jittered a little, but she’d known going in that she was going to be the hot topic of conversation in Royal. Ever since their dinner out at the TCC, people had been whispering. And Nathan leaving his car parked outside her place all night had pretty much put the capper on the whole situation.

“I know,” she said with a helpless shrug, “but there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Well, you could stop chasing after him, that might be a start,” Pam snapped, pushing away from the door to stalk to the window overlooking the parking lot behind the diner.

Okay, she was willing to talk. To try to smooth things over with Pam. But she wasn’t going to sit there and be attacked without defending herself, either.

“Chasing him?” Amanda stood up. “I’m not chasing Nathan. I’ve never chased him.”

Pam whirled around and glared at her, eyes flashing. “Oh, you love being able to say that, don’t you?”

“What, the truth?”

Pam laughed harshly, walked toward the desk and leaned on the back of the visitor’s chair, positioned directly opposite Amanda. Shaking her short hair back from her face, she stared at her sister and blew out a breath before saying, “That just makes it better for you, doesn’t it? It’s the truth. Nathan chased after you all those years ago and now he’s doing it again.”

Just for a second, Amanda saw a sheen of tears in her sister’s eyes and she felt terrible. Then Pam spoke again and all sympathy went out the window.

“Hannah Poole is sitting out there right now,” Pam said, stabbing one finger toward the diner, “telling everyone how she saw Nathan’s car parked outside your place all night.”

Amanda winced a little. Well, they’d both known it would happen. They’d just have to ride out the gossip and wait for the first wave to dissipate.

“And this is my fault?” Amanda demanded.

“Oh, please.” Pam pushed off the chair, making the wooden legs clatter against the linoleum. “Like you don’t do everything you can to make sure he notices you. Big eyes. Soft voice.”

Amanda laughed shortly. This was getting weird. And how come she had never noticed before just how jealous of her Pam really was? “What are you talking about?”

“When you guys broke up before, it nearly ruined him,” Pam told her flatly. She took a deep breath and blew it out again before adding, “He stayed away from Royal for three years. He only saw his brother when Jake went to Dallas to visit him.”

They’d both lost a lot, Amanda thought. They had been so young that neither of them had reacted the way they should have to the tragedy that had torn them apart. They’d cut themselves off from not only each other, but also from their friends, their families. It was time they’d never get back, but hopefully, they’d learned something from all of that, too.

But even as she thought it, she wondered if she’d ever really be able to trust Nathan again. He hadn’t believed her. Hadn’t loved her when she had needed him most. Those dark days came back in a rush, swamping her mind with painful shadows until all she could do was whisper, “I stayed away, too, remember?”

Pam waved that off as if Amanda’s pain meant nothing. “This was Nathan’s home and he didn’t come back because he didn’t want to deal with having the town gossips tearing him apart. Over you.”

And just like that, old pain gave way to fresh anger. Pam was her sister and she was taking Nathan’s side in this? “And?”

“And now they’re doing it again.” Pam folded her arms over her chest and tapped the toe of one shoe against the floor. “And just like before, it’s all because of you.”

In a blink, Amanda’s temper ratcheted up to match her sister’s. Funny, when they were kids, Amanda had always looked up to Pam. And in an argument, Amanda had always backed down, both intimidated by her sister and unwilling to risk alienating Pam entirely. Well, she thought, those days were long gone. They were both adults now and Pam had been on her case for weeks already. Fine. They had problems—they’d either work them out or not. But damned if Pam was going to wedge herself between Amanda and Nathan.

“This isn’t any of your business, Pam. So back off.”

Pam drew her head back in surprise. But her stunned silence only lasted a second or two. “I’m not backing off. I’m the one who’s been here, Amanda. I’m the one who saw what you did to Nathan before. And I’m the one telling you to stop ruining his life.”

“Ruining his life? A little dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Hah. If the gossips chew on him for too long he’ll leave again.”

“Has it occurred to you that they’re gossiping about me, too?” She tipped her head to one side, mirrored Pam’s stance and waited. She didn’t have to wait long.

“That’s your own fault,” Pam scoffed. “For God’s sake, you lured him up to your bed and then were too stupid to tell him to move his car. You wanted the whole damn town to see.”

“I didn’t trick him into bed, Pam.”

“You didn’t have to.” Pam blinked frantically to clear away the fresh sheen of tears in her eyes. “All you have to do is be there and he can’t see anything else.”

Amanda steeled herself against feeling sympathy for her sister. Of course she was sorry to see Pam in pain, but not sorry enough to back away from Nathan so her sister could try to get him. Again. “I still don’t see how that’s my fault or your business.”

“Of course you don’t,” Pam said with an exasperated huff. “It’s my business because I care about Nathan. When he came home, I was the one who helped him settle in. He was unhappy for a long time. And, Amanda—” she paused and took a breath “—I just don’t want to see him like that again.”

That much, Amanda could understand. She didn’t want that, either. Because it would mean that whatever was between them had shattered again. Just the thought of that had a cold ball of ice settling in the pit of her stomach. Oh, God, she was never going to get over Nathan. How could she, when she was still in love with him?

Staggered by the sudden acknowledgment of what she was really feeling and worried about what it meant to her present—let alone her future—Amanda plopped down into her desk chair. Love? She hadn’t counted on that at all. She’d hoped to make her peace with her memories—not build new ones.

She was in deep trouble. Nausea rolled through her stomach in a thick wave that had her swallowing spasmodically.

“Hey …” Pam’s tone changed from banked anger to concern. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Amanda told her, and cupped her face in her hands. Oh, God, she was still in love with Nathan. A man she wasn’t sure she could trust. She didn’t even know how he felt about her! Seven years ago, Nathan had never told her that he loved her. Had left her the moment the reason for marrying her was gone.

Okay, yes, she was the one who had called off the marriage. But he hadn’t fought her. He’d simply walked away. As if losing her and their baby meant nothing to him.

Today, there was still no mention of the L-word and that hadn’t stopped her from once more falling for the only man she would ever love. She’d just tossed her heart into the air not knowing if it was going to crash and burn or find a safe home. “I really don’t think I’m okay at all.”

“This isn’t just a cheap ploy to end the argument, is it?”

On a sardonic laugh, Amanda looked up and met her sister’s eyes. “Trust me when I say, I really wish this was a ploy.”