Читать книгу Little Book of Hard Bastard Jokes - Laugh or Else! - Kate Kray - Страница 6

All the men in Hard Bastards and Hard Bastards 2 come from a dangerous and shadowy world where life is cheap and violence is commonplace. Punchings and stabbings, knifes and shooters have long been part of their everyday existence. A lot of them still train at the gym and they always will – being fit, hard and keen is all that’s between them and a trip to casualty or the city morgue. For many of them, when its six o’clock, it’s time for their sharp strides. They shine their shoes, put on a crisp white shirt and adjust their dickie-bow, ready for whatever the night is going to throw at them. I’ve rubbed shoulders, interviewed and talked at length with literally thousands of hard bastards, gangsters, yardies, triads, terrorists, gypsies, hell’s angels – you name ‘em , I’ve interviewed ‘em.

But is there a common link between them? A thread that crosses every boundary, despite colour, creed or belief? It’s true that most have committed gross acts of violence, even murder. Nearly all have spent long spells in prison. Is it something in their childhood that sent them down the rocky road? Poverty? Abuse? Unhinged minds? Or are they just crazy mixed up motherfuckers? It’s hard to say, and each has a different story to tell. Then it dawned on me that there was one thing that linked them all – just one.

Humour.

I don’t mean that they would stab you and laugh while you bleed, (or perhaps they would!). But humour, laughter, a nudge and a grin – all of them, every single one, liked to tell a gag or two. Each man I interviewed, I asked them to tell me a joke. Instantly their faces changed. Gone was the fierce look and unblinking eyes, gone was the snarl and the spitting and cursing. Their craggy faces would lighten up. Broad gold-toothed smiles beamed at me – ‘ ’ere, do you know that one about … knock knock … An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman … ’

After they delivered the punchline, all would crease up, howling with laughter. They would look around the room, expecting everyone to find the joke as funny as they did. Some would titter a nervous titter, some would laugh out of fear of losing their bollocks. All in all, everyone laughed. Here is a collection of those jokes.

Kate Kray.