Читать книгу Pride & Joy - Kathleen Archambeau - Страница 8

I don’t want LGBTQ youth coming out to their parents to experience what I did when my liberal, native San Franciscan, Irish-American Catholic mother responded, “I’d love all my children— even if they were murderers, drug addicts, or prostitutes.” She sincerely thought she was being broad-minded, to which I replied, “Do you realize, Mom, that you’re comparing being gay to being criminal, mentally ill, or dissolute?” Redemption came that next Mother’s Day when she asked for the book, Love, Ellen: A Mother Daughter Journey, by Betty DeGeneres, instead of flowers. Identifying with a celebrity mother reconciled my mother to the fact that her firstborn was a lesbian and it wasn’t the end of the world. I don’t want LGBTQ young professionals to experience what I did as a closeted lesbian in a corporation where it was literally dangerous to come out in the early 1980s. In one of my Persuasive Speaking classes at a Silicon Valley high-technology company, one of my students, an educated male American engineer, delivered a speech justifying murder for only five crimes, one of which was homosexuality. At another tech company, I was outed by a former friend and colleague and subsequently fired by a “cracker” CEO. A labor lawyer advised that I had no recourse since I was not out and couldn’t prove that this was a targeted “layoff.” The next corporate job, I was out to my department, but not to the salespeople I was training around the world. When the secretary outed me to the entire building at corporate headquarters, I had recourse with my boss and HR because I was out and was, subsequently, promoted, and the secretary moved to another building with a stern warning. One night during Pride week in San Francisco’s Castro District, I was walking with my partner and a group of teenagers taunted us, threatening to attack us when, fortunately, a phalanx of gay men from a nearby bar came out and surrounded us, protecting us from what was sure to become yet another hate crime. When I first met my Kiwi wife, she was not a citizen and we couldn’t marry in the US. This caused us to make all kinds of jujitsu moves; from becoming Civil Union partners in New Zealand to carrying Power of Attorney papers everywhere we went to paying extraordinary taxes and tax preparation fees because we could not marry. That was not that long ago: Marriage Equality was just won in the US Supreme Court on June 26, 2015.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) found that 53 percent of Americans are still closeted at work (“The Cost of the Closet and The Rewards of Inclusion,” HRC, 5/7/14). Within the US, twenty states still have no legal protections against employment discrimination based on sexual orientation, and four other states have no legal protections except for state employees. Only twenty states offer full employment protection based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Since the Human Rights Campaign has assessed corporations through its Corporate Equality Index (CEI), 92 percent of the Fortune 500 prohibit employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and 199 scored 100 percent, while 327 of the Fortune 500 scored 91 percent or higher on the CEI Index (CEI Index, 2017).

In the UK, 66 percent of LGBT individuals have experienced a hate crime and reported it to no one (www.independent.co.uk, 2014). Only 6.3 percent of Chinese workers are completely out at work (Beijing Today, 5/24/13). In some of the most populous countries—China, India and Russia—propaganda laws limit freedom of expression and can result in political imprisonment. African and Middle Eastern countries generally have some of the most severe penalties for being gay, up to life imprisonment and, in severe cases of human rights abuses, the death penalty. On the global stage, seventy-six countries still imprison LGBTQ citizens for the crime of being queer, and thirteen states can impose the death penalty. In December 2011, Hillary Clinton famously declared “LGBT rights are human rights and human rights are LGBT rights” in a speech to the US Mission to the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland. Support of LGBT rights in a declaration to the UN Human Rights Council has been signed by ninety-six member-states of the United Nations (2011). Fortunately, seventy-six countries offer non-discrimination protections for their LGBTQ citizens, forty-seven countries recognize same-sex unions, and twenty-seven countries allow joint adoption (The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex Association, June 2016).

Legalized same-sex marriage is linked to fewer youth suicide attempts, a striking finding since suicide, after fatal injuries and homicides, is the most frequent cause of death for US citizens between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four. LGBTQ youth attempt suicide at four times the rate of heterosexual teens. The data in this same-sex marriage study reflected thirty-two states that legalized same-sex marriage between 2004 and 2015 and fifteen that did not. The study concluded that legalizing same-sex marriage was related to a drop in suicide attempts, most likely related to a reduction in social stigma. This Harvard-Johns Hopkins Schools of Public Health study has the validity of self-reported data from 750,000 students over the course of more than a decade, 1999-2015 (JAMA Pediatrics, Feb. 20, 2017).

So while the world is growing more tolerant of LGBTQ artists, icons, and everyday heroes, LGBTQ youth around the world are hungry for positive, successful, life-affirming, openly queer role models. A full 42 percent do not feel accepted in the communities where they live in America, and 92 percent hear negative messages about being LGBT at school, on the Internet, and from peers (“Growing Up LGBT in America,” based on 10,000+ survey participants, ages 13-17, HRC, 2014 ).

It is also true that you must keep yourself safe wherever you are; it may mean remaining circumspect or even closeted. Sometimes it means moving to another city or creating a family of choice if your family of origin rejects you. It sometimes even means leaving your home country.

This book serves as a beacon to LGBTQ individuals around the world, demonstrating in real-life stories how it’s possible to live happy, fulfilling, open queer lives. Being queer does not condemn you to a life of misery or a life in the closet. You do not have to seek sex in the shadows of parks and bathrooms. You can be out and successful at work. You can be happily married and raise a family if you choose. And unlike most of the books out there, this one doesn’t end with its subjects committing suicide, murder, or dying alone. And unlike most of the queer anthologies, this one is not confined to only the most educated and affluent in Western society.

On these pages, you’ll find someone just like you. From China to England, from The Netherlands to New Zealand, from Uruguay to the Philippines, from Vietnam to Argentina, from Belgium to Russia, from Ireland to Canada, from big cities on the coasts of America to small towns in the heartland. The message in these pages echoes the bravery of one Irish author of the last century, Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

Oscar Wilde,

1854-1900