Читать книгу Making Divorce Work: In 9 Easy Steps - Keith Barret - Страница 11

One reason is the death of a partner. If this has happened to you, I urge you not to look on it as a failed marriage. Don’t get me wrong, there has been failure. Statistically speaking, the heart or liver are likely culprits. The figures make for depressing reading; let’s have a look at them.

All the usual suspects are there, the big diseases, of course, and poisoning making a return to the spotlight. Stroke is there; I always have a problem with stroke, as it’s such a nice word. It’s like saying,“How’s Tim?” “Oh, haven’t you heard? It’s awful, he’s had a cuddle.”

So death is playing its part in breaking up relationships, in particular a certain kind of death, the kind of death that isn’t a surprise to the person who dies. What am I talking about? That’s right. I’m talking about suicide. The figures make for depressing reading; let’s have a look at them.

There we are, a startling set of figures showing the trends and fashions in suicide since 1990. It’s bad news for our friends north of the border in Scotland, where they’re leading the field in taking their own lives. Why? It’s difficult to say. I suppose that there are many factors to be taken into consideration; the cold weather, poor public transport, etc. At the end of the day the cause isn’t as important as the effect, and the effect here is quite startling. The Scots are topping themselves with gusto.

“There’s a noose loose aboot this hoose!”

It’s a bit of fun; we wish them well! Next on the list, our friends in Northern Ireland. This is no surprise really, when you think of the accent. I don’t mean to be rude but that awful droning sound, going on and on, it’s just terrible; we only hear it when they talk to us but for them it’s like that all the time, even when they’re just thinking! Appalling. No wonder they’re reaching for the paracetemol …

Then the Irish themselves, not as bad as their neighbours, and again I put this down to the accent, a far more melodic sound than the northerners, quite cheery and reminiscent of happy days with Leprechauns and the like. You could almost imagine an unemployed Irish man at the end of his tether thinking, “Shall I top myself? Ah begorrah, no! Oil have a pint of Guinness!! Top of the morning to me!”