Читать книгу Making Divorce Work: In 9 Easy Steps - Keith Barret - Страница 14

Let me ask you another question if I may. How often have you heard a friend or relative say, “Guess who’s splitting up?” and then when he or she tells you who it is, it comes as a complete shock? That’s right, lots of times, we all have. Why is it such a shock?

Because it’s a surprise. (Figure 9)

These days, with divorce rates soaring, it is almost impossible to predict which couples will stay together and which ones will split up.

Or is it? Try this little quiz to see how good you are at spotting who will stay together “’til death do us part”.

If I were to tell you that I had devised a method that could predict the success of a marriage, based purely on a detailed analysis of photographs taken on the wedding day, would you be interested? I thought so! Then read on …

On the following three pages are photographs of three couples on their wedding days. All seemingly happy pictures of young, healthy men and women on the most important day of their lives, with their futures together ahead of them, the hopes and dreams of their respective families held in their conjoined arms; but which if any will end in tears? I want you to study the pictures closely and see if you can spot any clues to help you predict which of the couples are still together. Maybe by doing so you will be able to choose more wisely yourself next time! It’s a bit of fun.

N.B. All the weddings took place in 1995. I’m writing this in 2004, so they’ve all passed the dreaded seven-year itch!

Right, couple number one. Look closely at them and see what you can see in their faces. Future happiness? Despair? A bit of both? Quite a posh wedding in that they have doves although I must say that from only looking at the picture it’s difficult to be sure whether they’re releasing the doves or desperately trying to catch them.

These seem like a very happy couple, or did they also have doves, and store them too close to an extractor fan? Are the newlyweds about to look to the sky and come face to face with feathered carnage? We’ll never know and it doesn’t matter. Let’s just savour the moment of happiness captured forever.

Hmm, yes,I know what you’re thinking… Less a case of, “Are they still together?” and more, “Is she still alive?”

Now that you’ve seen all the photos of the happy couples, let me give you a word of advice: Look at them again. Are there any telltale signs that you’ve missed? Body language enthusiasts can have a field day with this kind of thing. Look at the way the couples stand: is there an uneasy air to any of them? The way they’re standing, peculiar looks on faces, what does this tell us? Can you spot a distance or awkwardness, an underlying tension? Have any of the men got beards? My Uncle Gethyn had a beard and he did eighteen months for misappropriation of council funds.^[2]

Study very closely; think of yourself as a detective, Inspector Morse with Lewis, Hercule Poirot with his wax moustache or maybe Miss Marple with her cardigan combing a crime scene for vital clues. Not that the pictures contain any crimes, I’m not claiming that for a minute, of course I’m not. Having said that, in all honesty at the end of the day we don’t know. We could easily be looking at no more than a parade of particularly cunning bigamists, or three at the most. I think it unlikely that there would be more than three in our selection, as it would mean that some of them had married each other, bigamist on bigamist, and that surely is a statistical rarity. In its defence though I would say that it probably eases the pain of discovering that your husband/wife is a bigamist if you already are one yourself; it would give you a certain empathy “Fair enough, I know how he/she feels…”. Still, any way you slice it you would have been deceived, lied to, conned, and no one likes that, it can leave you with a distrust of your fellow human beings that can stay with you for the rest of your waking days.

Back to the quiz! Which couples are still together and which ones have parted? Have you made up your mind? OK, see here to find out, I think it will shock you …