Читать книгу A Visible Heaven - Kirsten Blyton - Страница 11

Eve lay on the grass, one leg bent like the cover of a tent. Laura traced the shadow it made on the ground, trying not to toy with the idea that they were having their first fight. The thought of it left a taste on her tongue like a battery left in the rain.

‘Are you made at me?’ Laura asked, pulling out blades of grass.

‘You need to relax. You keep acting like I’m going to disappear or something.’ Eve didn’t open her eyes. She could have been reciting lines by the way she said it, unfazed.

Laura gritted her teeth. She wanted to shake Eve so she would give this conversation the attention it deserved. ‘My last relationship ended badly … I just don’t want to repeat that by not seeing things.’

‘Do you create new problems?’ Eve asked, sitting up.

The concentration of her eyes on her own washed away Laura’s desire to have their attention only a moment earlier. She dropped her gaze. ‘It just made sense to me, the things she was saying.’

Eve looked away. A herd of young boys playing soccer in the distance caught her attention. ‘I know, but you should think more of me than what Deb concocted.’

The sting hurt, right above her collarbone. She knew Eve had a right to be upset but she hadn’t planned on her words hurting like they did. While Laura and Deb were waiting around on set, she had got to talking about Eve. It was all she seemed to talk about recently. Deb had veered the conversation onto intimacy, and convinced her that Eve’s backward stance with intimacy was an indication that she was seeing other people. Laura had reacted beyond the realms of crazy, accepting Deb’s words as thought Eve had said them to her personally.

Eve made small circles with her thumb against the grass. ‘I’m not that type of person.’

Laura nodded, seeing in hindsight how much worse this could have been if Eve had reacted the same way she had to the situation. ‘I’m just …’ she broke. ‘Still trying to figure you out.’

Eve smiled. It reached her eyes, making her teeth flash for a second. ‘It’s okay.’ With two small words she forgave her. The aftertaste of anger dissipated. She found Laura’s hand among the grass and gave it a squeeze. Eve stood quickly and took off running. She weaved through the soccer game and scooped the ball easily away from a short brown-haired boy with full cheeks. The other players rushed forwards, not seeing the player but the ball, trying to get it back. Laura watched from a distance, a smile on her lips.

Back in her apartment, Eve washed the plates. The warm water covered her hands and wrists, the soap hiding the dirty ceramics. She let the water drain out, wiping her hands. Eve grabbed the small piece of paper she’d pinned to the fridge with magnets. During their first few days together, Laura had given her the address and phone number of the studio where she filmed. Laura grew nervous when she handed her the piece of paper; she normally crossed that boundary much later in any relationship she pursued. Eve pressed the piece of paper between her thumb and index finger. She was going to surprise Laura to show her everything was fine between them.

Eve walked down to the store and hung a GONE FISHING sign on the front door. She’d constructed it in the more-than-tipsy less-than-drunk hours of the night. Eve sped down the street, her motorcycle weaving through endless taxis and cars.

An insistent alarm woke Laura from a deep sleep. She rubbed her eyes and switched off the alarm, having to stop herself from punching the chirping bell she’d thought was cute in the department store. She showered, still half-asleep, and threw on a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. Laura didn’t even remember the drive to the studio. A warm cup of coffee was slipped into her hand as soon as she entered. In her other hand were placed the edits the writers had made to her scenes. She was ushered into wardrobe and make-up.

‘Good morning, Kelly.’ Laura hugged and kissed her make-up artist on the cheek.

‘Morning,’ she beamed cheerily, despite the early hour.

‘Well, it looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you today?’ Laura stared at her tired reflection.

‘You take the least amount of time.’ Kelly unravelled Laura’s hair from a tight bun.

Laura flicked through her lines. She kept reading without pause when the hairdryer started up.

When Kelly was finished, Laura thanked her as always. ‘Hey, I’ll come and talk to you later. I want to know how Jonathan’s birthday party went. I want pictures.’ Jonathan, Kelly’s four-year-old son, had come in a month ago and had taken a shine to Laura. Laura urged her to bring him in whenever she wanted. She still remembered his laughter when Laura applied a deep rouge to his plump cheeks, and the way he’d grabbed at the brush to do her own.

The cameras and lights were set up, the sound checks done. The scripted soon-to-be-convicted criminal sat across from Laura. He uttered a short good morning as he poured over his lines, visibly nervous.

‘Where were you between the times of nine to nine-thirty last night, Mister Mondo?’ Laura shuffled the pages in front of her.

Eve pulled up to the front of the studio and parked her motorcycle at the side of the street. She bypassed a singular boom gate. The on-duty guard was leaning against the small booth, talking to a young woman. She picked up her pace. Just as she placed her hand on the back-entrance door, a booming voice called out. Eve turned. A hulking security guard seemed to block out the sun.

Eve raised her palms. ‘I’m here to see Laura Dalton.’

‘There aren’t any scheduled visitations today.’ He stood in front of the door.

Eve shrugged. ‘It’s a surprise visit.’

He shook his head gently and stared through her.

‘Look.’ Her eyes scanned his name tag. ‘Ayo … which is a beautiful name, by the way—’

‘It’s African. It means “Joy”.’ His face didn’t crack.

‘I promise, this isn’t a Bodyguardsituation. See?’ She held up her hands. ‘No glue on my fingers.’

‘Whitney Houston was a queen.’ He crossed his thick arms across his chest.

‘See? We are already agreeing, Ayo.’ She playfully punched his arm and instantly regretted it.

His eyes cut through her like daggers. ‘Do not touch me.’

‘Sorry … Look, could you please just ring through? Tell her Eve is here.’

Ayo took a moment to weigh up the options. He gave in. ‘Only because you like Whitney Houston.’

Eve watched in anticipation as he rang through. A few awkward minutes passed until Laura finally stuck her head out the door, her eyes lit up in surprise.

‘Do you know her, Laura?’ Ayo asked expecting her to say no.

‘Yeah. Yes, of course, she’s a friend.’

Ayo visibly slouched, disappointed that he wouldn’t get to detain Eve.

‘See you later, Ayo!’ Eve called through the door.

Eve walked through the unfamiliar corridor, Laura grabbed her arm. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ she hissed.

‘Surprise?’ Eve smiled to feigned excitement.

‘Eve …’

‘Oh, I almost forgot. These are for you.’ Eve handed her a bunch of flowers wrapped in newspaper.

‘Flowers?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, what can I say? I took a leaf out of the hetero book and got you flowers. Enjoy.’

Laura brightened slightly at the flowers. ‘Your romantic side overwhelms me sometimes.’

Eve was relieved.

Laura stared down the corridor. She pulled Eve into a small room so they were out sight. ‘So, this is your dressing room?’ Laura pulled out a chair and guided her into it, she stood behind her, her hands on her shoulders. Eve smiled back at her in the mirror.

‘You need to tell me when you’re going to do something like this.’

Eve’s expression drained. She didn’t have enough time to explain before a knock on the door startled them both.

‘Hey, it’s just me … who’s this?’ A tall man in black pants and a white button-down shirt entered, coffee steaming in his hand and a considerable amount of make-up on his skin.

The lie came quickly to Laura. ‘My sister’s friend. She was in town and wanted to stop by.’

‘Oh hey, I’m Daniel.’ He stuck out an eager hand to Eve.

‘Eve.’

‘You’re one lucky friend. You know—’ He went to sit down beside Eve but Laura talked over him.

‘Actually, Daniel, we were just on our way out. I promised her a tour.’ They both stood. Eve’s eyes widened when he asked if he could tag along.

‘I think it would just be best if I took her, but thank you, Daniel.’

They exited to the corridor. Laura took her down to a lower level.

‘He’s such an annoying turd. He comes onto everyone.’ Laura clenched her jaw.

‘Did you just call someone a turd? Jesus, fame really has changed you.’

Laura couldn’t help but smirk.

They walked down further corridors. Most were abandoned of people. Laura pointed out sets from shows Eve had never seen before.

‘Laura, where the hell are we going?’

‘Somewhere we can be alone.’

Laura finally pulled her into a storage room. She flicked the light and waved her arms towards the rows and rows of manila boxes.

‘This is our evidence records centre. We keep all the important files here for the shows. By important, I mean …’ Laura fished out some papers out of a box and held them up to Eve. ‘Non-existent.’

‘Blank pages? Seriously?’ Eve reached into another box and found the same thing. She shook her head

‘You should see how far back this room goes.’ They passed row after row of identical boxes.

Eve looked out over the filtered light of propped storage room. The musty smell of old paper lingered on her nose as she walked further. She disturbed a mound of dust near the end of one rack and made small patterned circles with the tip of her shoe.

‘I’m really glad you came.’ Laura’s voice was close behind her.

Eve felt Laura’s hands on her. She stroked her arms from shoulder to fingertip. ‘Laura, I don’t thi—’

Laura’s eyes ran over the curves in her lips. Her hands gripped Eve’s arms tightly with a strange urgency she had never felt from her before. Laura unbuttoned her own blue jacket and threw it on a pile of dusty boxes. She kissed the corner of Eve’s mouth then her neck with force, her lips left patches of burning heat wherever they touched. Eve’s hands finally found motion, they grabbed at the small of Laura’s back. They collided with the wall and Laura let out a breathless pant. All sense of space left their minds as they sunk faster and faster. Eve ran a thumb against Laura’s jaw. Laura wrapped her hands against the sides of Eve’s neck, her tongue stroked hers, shocking her system. Her heart accelerated in her ears, her skin ignited with every touch.

‘I want you … now.’ Laura grabbed at the hem of Eve’s shirt and went to slide her hands under her shirt.

Eve drew back, suddenly cold.

‘I cannot believe you.’ Eve’s eyes narrowed. Her cheeks flushed.

‘What?’

‘You … just, you want to have sex with me in some old dusty storage room? What the hell, Laura?’

Laura swallowed as a lump began to form in her throat.

‘None of this is easy for me, Laura. Fuck!’ Eve began to pace.

Laura’s eyes pleaded with her. ‘You never even talk about yourself, you just listen. I know hardly anything about you.’

‘Yeah, yeah, but you still want me in a goddamn storage room at your work.’ Eve waved her arms in the air.

‘You can’t even share the smallest of things with me.’

Eve gritted her teeth. ‘I can’t do this.’

‘Are you seriously walking away from me, right now?’ Tears rolled down Laura’s cheeks.

Eve wiped at her mouth, wanting the taste of Laura as far from her as possible. ‘I wonder what you’ll tell them, when your colleagues ask who made you cry. I mean, for Christ sakes, you’re telling me “I don’t know what you want from me?” Do you even know what youwant, Laura?’ Eve took a breath. ‘It’s funny, I only have one rule and you almost just broke it.’ Laura sunk against the wall when the door slammed. Tears streamed down her face. It took everything in her not to go after Eve.

Laura sat in front of her dressing-room mirror. A thick lump formed in her throat when she remembered Eve walking away from her. She kicked out against the wall, knowing she’d ruined everything. Laura had pushed her too far, only thinking of what she herself needed. The worst was the look she had given her, a look that said, “I trusted you, I expected more.” It was a look of humiliation and disappointment. No matter how much make-up she used to cover up her swollen eyes, she couldn’t swallow the look she had given her.

Eve drank straight from the bottle of whiskey, one hand on the bottle, the other on her ringing phone. She relaxed against her kitchen sink when Anna picked up. Without so much as a hello, she explained what happened, a long stream of words that she hoped weren’t completely incomprehensible.

‘Kid … it sounded like you both had a good thing going. You need to talk to her. There are worst things than someone wanting to know you.’

‘I just … I can’t tell her about the accident. Not yet.’

‘I know, kid. I know.’ Anna sighed deeply on the end of the line.

‘I really like her.’

‘From the sounds of it, she likes you too, kid.’

Laura sat blurry-eyed in front of the TV. She had managed to get off work early – feigning a stomach flu. Laura dabbed at her eyes and reached for her glass of wine. She barely recognised the words emitted from the screen. She watched with disinterest as the images moved. A knock at the door startled Laura. She dried her eyes on the collar of her T-shirt. She opened the door to Eve standing in the doorway with a bag of steaming food.

‘This scares me.’ She pointed to Laura then back to herself. ‘So much, all the time. I feel like I’m out of my depth. But I want you to know me.’

Laura nodded and moved away from the door to let her inside. Eve dumped the bags of Chinese food on the kitchen island and shrugged off her jacket. Laura came to stand next to her.

‘I shouldn’t have pressured you like that. I didn’t …’ Laura looked away, not recognising the person she had become in the heat of that moment.

‘I should have stayed and talked with you about it.’

Laura tapped her nails on the island, not quite ready to meet Eve’s eyes. ‘I think we both handled that situation poorly.’

‘So … you still want to know about me?’

Laura nodded, taking the plate of food Eve offered.

Eve bit her lip, deciding where to start. ‘I have one sister. She’s five years older than me. A … uh … paediatrician, her name is Annequin but I’ve been called her Anna since I was little … I couldn’t pronounce my Qs.’ Eve reached for a fried wonton and slipped it into her mouth. She continued, ‘My first pet was a parrot named Chips. He was a birthday present when I was five.’

Laura smiled at the name. ‘What about your parents?’ Laura asked, wiping at her mouth.

‘My father’s name is Ammon. He was born in Egypt, the eldest of four boys. My father graduated high school top of his class and enrolled in a teaching course. This was where he met my mother. She was born and raised in southern Australia and moved here with her parents when she was fifteen – an only child. They met at nineteen, were married by twenty … five years later my sister was born. They are both real overachievers. My mother, a midwife, then head of the unit by thirty. My father, a professor of anthropology, just obsessed with different cultures and societies. He started teaching at a community college then worked his way up to Harvard.’

‘They sound like interesting people. What’s your mother’s name?’

‘Fleur.’ Her name scraped on her tongue. Eve couldn’t remember the last time she had said her name.

Eve collected their plates, moving away from the memory she had created. She ran a finger over the white marble counter tops and silver fitted appliances. The apartment was huge. Eve was sure she could have played basketball in the living room, if she wanted to. Across from the open plan kitchen was a custom-made bookcase that reached the roof, accompanied by an attached wooden ladder to reach the hardcover books at the top. Beyond the impressive book collection were hardwood floors and a living room that Eve could fit her entire apartment into ten times over, fitted with a long leather couch and shag rug. She stared at the home theatre system. A long hallway beckoned beside the arms-width panelled flat screen.

‘Sorry.’ Eve noticed Laura watching her. ‘I’m just a bit in awe of this place.’

Eve came to sit across from her. She lay her hands across Laura’s forearm and pulled it flat to the marble. She traced small freckles and a thin scar that ran just above the fold of her arm. Laura watched her silently as her soft fingertips traced nonsensical shapes. Laura let out a short laugh when she traced her name across her skin.

‘Happiest childhood memory?’ Laura asked.

Eve continued to trace. She took a moment to answer. ‘It was a really hot day. We were all outside, trying to get a breeze. The air conditioning had broken down again. I think I was around seven, sitting on our front porch. Anna was sitting on a swing my father had put at one end of our porch. Chips was sitting behind me in the shade. Anna called out to me, saying how great it would be if we had some rain. Then these clouds came out of nowhere. And it did. The rain came. I can remember saying, over and over, “Anna wished it.” I danced on the front lawn. Chips bobbed up and down by my feet. My parents and Anna made a tight circle around me, they were laughing along with me.’ Eve stopped tracing circles and looked up at Laura. ‘Love in the rain. That’s what I think of when I think of home.’ Eve raised her head and laughed. She grabbed Laura’s hand and kissed her palm.

‘Let’s get more comfortable.’ Laura led her into the lounge room. Eve lay down on the thick shag rug. Laura lay next to her and curved her body into her side. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever lain here before.’

‘There’s a first for everything.’ Eve wrapped a warm arm around her.

‘Any hobbies?’ Laura whispered into Eve’s shirt. She felt Eve vibrate with laughter.

‘Now, or when I was younger?’

‘Both.’

‘I used to dance … ballet and some contemporary. I started when I was six and stopped nearly a year ago.’

‘Why?’ Laura brushed strands of hair back from Eve’s forehead.

Eve looked at the ceiling. ‘It just stopped being important to me, I guess. I loved it though, perfecting your body to behave in a certain way. Moving through the air like that.’ She sunk against the rug. ‘I was accepted into a pretty good ballet school but I rejected the offer.’

‘Did you want to go?’

‘Not at the time.’

‘You must have been pretty good then.’

Eve didn’t answer. She hadn’t realised how much she missed it. ‘Ask me another.’

‘Any other hobbies?’

‘Boxing. I started when I was around fourteen, fifteen. Along with ballet, I did it every day.’

‘You’re just an overachiever, aren’t you?’ Laura smirked.

‘I come from a family of overachievers but … no, I just keep busy.’ Eve shrugged.

‘Any tattoos?’ Laura asked, scanning the side of her face.

‘I have a few, only one you can see for the moment though. The rest are in … indecent places.’ Eve sat up slowly. ‘This one I can show you.’

Eve pulled her right arm out of her shirt to reveal the design that ran from her upper arm to her collarbone. A mix colours arranged in a magnificent night sky. Within the sky were constellations, Laura remembered some. She traced the Sagittarius constellation with her pinkie. Her eyes read the scrolled inscription that rested just below Eve’s collarbone. ‘In the beginning, there were only stars.’ Laura read aloud. She couldn’t take her eyes off it.

‘I loved the stars when I was little. My parents and I used to stay up and watch the sky. All of these stars … these constellations. All that space, all that time, all that wonder had been there for millions of years. Like, just by looking up I had defied gravity itself. It was an escape. It showed that, no matter what, the stars at night were always constant.’ Eve sighed. She had never explained what the sky did to her before.

Eve grabbed Laura’s hand. She traced the outside of her fingers and the folds of skin that joined her fingers together, like a child tracing their hand on the pavement with a coloured piece of chalk. Eve probed her skin with soft fingertips and, eventually, turned her hand over and kissed her wrist. Her eyes slowly lifted and found Laura’s.

‘Favourite colour?’ Laura asked, giving a short laugh when Eve smirked and laced their fingers together.

‘Blue.’

‘Can I ask you a question?’ Eve asked.

‘Anything.’ Laura rested her head on Eve’s shoulder.

‘What was your first girlfriend like?’

‘I was twenty-one when I met her. I was just starting as an actress so I had to keep my relationship … private. It didn’t last that long, but it was better than any of the relationships I’d had with guys. She was …’ Laura searched for the right word, remembering. ‘Exhausting, pushy, selfish, needy but, oh, was she funny. Tough. I think that’s what I liked about her. She was someone who didn’t know No. Strong willed. It was another four years before I told my parents.’ Laura sighed, remembering how that had gone down. ‘I knew what I wanted after her and, sadly for my mother, it wasn’t something a man could ever give me.’

‘How did they take it?’

Laura pinched her nose. No matter how many years had passed, the memory still felt fresh. ‘My father was ashamed of himself, for not knowing his daughter, he told me, and for not being there when I needed him. My mother … was different. She more or less disowned me for a year.’ She swallowed. ‘I still remember that first phone call, after all that time. Her voice … Jesus, her voice was all choked up like I had died. I don’t think she’ll ever understand how much … how much she hurt me.’

‘I’m sorry, Laura.’

Laura wiped at her face and gave a short laugh. ‘God … you ask me one question and I fall apart.’

‘At least you knew what you wanted. Sometimes ignorant minds talk louder than those of us who understand. Ignorant words hurt just the same.’

Eve stood, offering Laura a hand. She took it with a smile. She guided them both gently back and forth, rocking, a soft hum filling her throat. Laura closed her eyes and leaned against Eve’s chest. The swaying slowed until Laura was nearly asleep against her.

‘It’s been a long day. I think I should get going.’ Despite her words, Eve still hung onto her.

‘Stay.’ Laura said, muffled against her shirt.

‘Okay.’ She gave in without much protest. ‘But the lounge will be fine.’

‘But there are other spare rooms …’ Laura trailed off. Eve shook her head once.

Eve got changed and proceeded to brush her teeth next to Laura in her second bathroom. They stared at each other in amusement in the long mirror. Eve gave her an overflowing foamy smile before spitting the toothpaste into the marble sink.

Laura caught Eve on the bathroom threshold and kissed her softly, whispering a low ‘Goodnight’ into her ear. She returned the kiss. Eve settled onto the long lounge. She craned her neck to look out the large panelled window that ran the length of the apartment. Her mind wandered to Laura and everything that had passed in the last few hours. In her room, warmth spread outwards from Laura. Her mind ran over every detail she now knew about Eve. When she closed her eyes, she saw the stars.