Читать книгу A Visible Heaven - Kirsten Blyton - Страница 12

Sleep took Eve warmly into its arms, it held her tight. It spun her around and around until she was a cocoon of tangled dreams. Until her mind ripped it apart, unravelled. She was left cold and disorientated. She clutched her bare arms to her body. With a settling unease, she saw the parked car on the road, the smooth coat of black paint buried it in the darkness.

Her father’s head moved back and forth as he yelled at her from the driver’s side. She watched, mute, as her mother got out of the passenger’s door and opened the back door. Suddenly, a pull in Eve’s chest transitioned her from the street to the back seat of the car. Her arms were holding back her mother’s instinctively, she tried to kick the back of her father’s seat to move him forwards, to put the car in gear and drive. But her limbs failed her. She sat frozen. She tried to open her mouth but nothing came out. The truck collided with the car. Eve tried to wrap her fingers around her mother but she was ripped from her. Eve’s head collided with the window. She tasted blood in her mouth and fire across her skin. She caught the light of the truck’s high-beamed headlights. The crunching of glass and steel. Eve turned her head and saw her mother mid-scream, her hair lifted in the air, frozen. Eve looked out into empty space where seconds earlier there was the window and saw a figure. She gripped the door and gave it a push. Her feet found the road, her head no longer throbbed. She moved towards the figure, cast in darkness. When she drew close, arms reached out for her. Laura’s face smiled at her.

‘What are you doing here?’ Eve asked, a shard of glass fell from her hair.

‘Come back to me.’ Laura searched her face.

Her blonde hair blew wild in the wind that circled them. Laura pressed their bodies together, melting into one another. When she drew back, the scene had shifted. Within the dream, a deep cut began to slice down from her temple, long claw marks from an invisible force cut open her skull. She cried out, bones began to break. Eve watched her crumple onto the road. Eve fell with her. She tried to catch her but she slipped like water through her fingers. A piercing screaming started. The light of the headlights engulfed her as she realised the screaming was coming from her.

Eve woke covered in sweat. She clutched at the blankets around her and heaved air into her lungs. Eve scrambled from the lounge, a mess of limbs and foreign blankets. She ran to the bathroom. Eve heaved against the toilet bowl and spat a stringy line of saliva against the porcelain. She hung a limp arm across her forehead and brushed off beads of sweat. Eve dragged herself to the sink and pulled herself up. She ran wary fingers against the skin across her skull, the thick scars still prominent under the cover of her black hair. She closed the bathroom door and found herself walking towards Laura’s room. With her arms arched above her head, Laura’s pink lips parted slightly. Eve took in the serenity of her body, the comfortable carelessness of her limbs and the figure outlined under the blankets. She took a moment, to just watch her. She wanted to tell her so much more but the words fell short. She couldn’t. Not yet.

Eve set about cooking breakfast. She’d found some eggs, sausages and bacon in a fridge she was sure a small person could live comfortably in. She squeezed orange juice from a pile of fruit meticulously stacked next to the toaster. Eve guessed that Laura worked early in the morning. This was confirmed when she saw Laura appear sleepily at the hallway. She grinned at her through tired eyes.

‘Morning.’ Eve smiled at her.

Laura pulled out a stool under the kitchen island and tussled her hair. ‘Somehow … I thought last night was a dream. Like I’d come out and find you gone.’ She groaned with hunger when the smell of fried eggs and sausages wafted towards her.

Eve gave her a half-smile as the eggs began to spit. ‘I’m right where I need to be.’ Eve handed her a plate and came to sit beside her. They ate quickly.

‘So what was that about your rule?’ Laura asked, her mouth full.

Eve looked away. ‘Yeah, I only have the one.’ Laura waited for her to continue. ‘Well, it’s …’ Eve trailed off. She didn’t know why it was so hard for her to say this to Laura. ‘The only rule I have is, we don’t sleep with each other until we’ve been together for six months.’ She let the words sink in.

Laura brushed Eve’s hair back from the side of her face and smiled. ‘If that’s the way you feel, then I’m fine with that.’ Eve gave her a peck on the cheek. From the others she had told, Laura took it the best by far.

Eve leaned back. ‘What are your rules?’

‘I have a few.’ Laura bit her bottom lip. ‘You can’t show up to work again. It’s too hard to pretend we aren’t more than friends. When you come back here again, there’s a side entrance you can take up to the elevator. I can’t have the paparazzi catching on. And don’t go out on the balcony. Sometimes they get pictures of me out there.’ Laura blew out a long breath. ‘And we can’t act like a couple when we go out into the city. It’s just too risky.’

Eve clenched her jaw, ‘So, basically you want me to be invisible … to not exist.’

Laura caught Eve’s shirt. ‘I’m just protecting you.’

Eve sighed and looked around the apartment. The gravity of who she was still hadn’t sunk in. She didn’t know the type of things Laura had had to endure for her lifestyle. Even though she was less than thrilled by the idea, she agreed. ‘Okay, if that’s what you need. But you picked one hell of a city to try and be anonymous in.’

Eve changed back into her own clothes and promised Laura she would see her later tonight. Even though she agreed to her terms, she couldn’t help but feel uneasy, like the pit of a seed had grown in her stomach overnight. There were so many parts of her that wanted to walk away in that moment, but something, a part of her she wasn’t sure she had or would ever have a word for, made her agree. Made her stay.

Laura read through the edits for the day, memorising them quickly. She beamed when Kelly came in with Jonathan. He ran towards her, his small fingers grabbed at the air until they reached her. Laura heaved him onto her lap in one swift motion.

‘My, my … I heard it was someone’s birthday.’

Jonathan squeezed her arm. His eyes widened. ‘Mine!

‘I think … that’s right, I have something for you.’ Laura reached into her back pocket and handed Jonathan four VIP passes for the Central Park Zoo. Kelly mouthed her a wide ‘Thank you’ in the mirror. Jonathan stared back at Laura, still unsure of what he had been given for his birthday.

‘These,’ Laura pointed to the tickets, ‘are for you to go to the zoo, but they’re special. You go when no one else is there, with private tours of the enclosures.’

Jonathan looked back down at the tickets and bounced on Laura’s lap. He reached for her and wrapped his small arms around her neck. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and giggled.

‘Laura … honestly, it’s too much. I … don’t know what to say.’ Kelly put a hand on her shoulder.

‘You don’t have to say anything. Jonathan’s my little man, aren’t you?’ He nodded up at her and clutched the tickets to his chest.

Laura let Jonathan play in her lap and stare at her in wonder when Kelly applied her make-up and did her hair. Laura changed and gave Jonathan one last squeeze before she was collected by one of the assistants. They had a brief read-through with the rest of the cast, where Deb sat next to her and gossiped about the new actor she described as a ‘total hunk’. Laura watched with a detached curiosity as he sat across from Laura and gave a loud ‘Good morning’ to the rest of the cast.

Laura listened half-heartedly. ‘I’d just like to say, how honoured I am to be …’ He droned on and on with fake gratitude. She finally caught his name, Alex Levi. The name sounded familiar in a far-off Days of Our Liveskind of way. Laura looked away when she noticed him staring at her.

Laura scoured the catered lunch table, picking at the fruit and sandwich pile. She felt someone standing too close to her. She turned to see Alex watching her closely.

‘Hi.’ He grabbed for an apple by her side.

Laura took a step back. ‘Hey.’

‘You know,’ he leaned in close, like he was about to tell her a secret. ‘I’ve never been on a show with someone like you.’

‘Like me?’ Laura raised her eyebrows.

‘Someone of your distinction.’

Laura didn’t like the way he looked at her, like he was stripping back parts of her. Cataloguing her in some way. He gave her the creeps. ‘Is that so?’ She silently prayed that someone, anyone, would call for her.

‘Hey, maybe we could get some coffee some time?’

Laura’s eyes widened in shock. She watched him bite into the green apple. A bead of juice ran along his chin and dripped onto his pressed shirt. The bead expanded and pooled. She felt her feet carrying her away, leaving her lunch on the table.

Laura found Deb outside on the lot, with a cigarette between her manicured fingers. Through a daze, she explained what had just happened.

‘You know why they got him, right?’ Deb asked, a cloud of smoke drifting outwards. ‘He’s your kiss in the finale. Weren’t you in the meeting we just had? Maybe he wanted to establish some chemistry before then.’

‘Great.’ Laura crossed her arms.

‘Just do your job and go home. We pretend, we go home and you, my dear, are very good at pretending.’

Eve slid into the elevator and leaned back against the cold interior. She pressed PENTHOUSE and slipped in the card Laura had given her. Once the elevator doors opened, Eve waited outside Laura’s door. She checked her watch. It would be another half an hour before she got home. Her eyelids grew heavier and, within a few minutes, she was fast asleep.

The black sedan rolled to a stop in the underground parking garage. Laura thanked her driver and took the elevator up to the top floor. She pulled at her clothes, happy to be rid of them soon. Laura was taken aback when she saw Eve asleep at her door. She’d slumped and fallen slightly, her dark lashes flickered slightly as she dreamed. Her head angled to the side, her lips parted. Laura knelt in front of her. The stress of her day washed away the closer she got to Eve. She stirred in her dream. Laura whispered her name.

Eve’s eyes fluttered open. ‘Sorry.’ She mumbled, getting to her feet. Laura kissed the side of her sleepy face and opened the apartment door. Laura changed into an old pair of cotton pants and a T-shirt, while Eve slung herself on the lounge. She stretched out next to her. Eve pulled her into a tight embrace and littered soft kisses on the top of her head. Laura laughed. She kissed the side of Eve’s wrist and matched her arms with her own. A mix of milk and olive skin in a tangle of arms.

Laura settled back into Eve. ‘I was thinking about your tattoos today.’

‘Which ones?’

‘All the ones I haven’t seen.’

Eve lifted up her right foot and peeled back the sock with her left toes. She turned her foot inwards to reveal a string of black block letters: If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.

‘It’s Whitman.’

Laura touched the words with her own foot. ‘I like it.’ She lowered her foot. ‘I was distracted by you in a meeting today. I started doodling down questions to ask you.’

Eve readjusted her shoulders. ‘What did you come up with?’

‘You don’t seem like a ballet dancer.’

Eve smirked. ‘Is that a question or an observation?’

‘I just … I’ve been thinking about it. That’s all.’

‘You need some evidence?’ Eve straightened. She stood by the front door, staring straight ahead. Eve pointed to a vase on the counter, needing a focal point. Eve overlapped her feet, curved her left arm and held her right one out as if in the position of an imaginary partner. She lifted and spun effortlessly through the air, turned and landed in the same position, over and over. She finished by swooping down on one knee, her arm quickly following.

Eve grinned at Laura’s gaping mouth. ‘And you thought this girl couldn’t spin. I’ve got moves you don’t even know the names to.’

‘What else can you do?’

‘To show you properly, I’d need a studio.’

‘I definitely need to see that.’

They ordered room service. Laura’s hand lingered on Eve’s when she handed her a plate. ‘Could you teach me … something simple?’

Eve ran her thumb over Laura’s knuckle. ‘Mmm … maybe, you seem like a tough student though.’ She joked. ‘Stubborn and bossy.’

‘Eat your pasta.’

In between mouthfuls, Laura asked Eve about her own apartment, what it was like.

‘Not like this.’ Eve shook her head.

‘Still, I’d love to see it.’

‘Why? I mean, look at this place.’ Eve motioned to the vast space around her.

‘I want to know more about you.’

Laura watched as Eve weighed up the options.

‘Fine, but don’t be expecting much.’

Eve stood from her stool. She eyed the long longue. Eve took off sprinting towards it. At the last second, she lifted her legs through the air, landing in a heap. She disappeared from view.

‘How was that, judge?’ Eve’s voice came out muffled.

‘A three, it looked like a potato trying to fly.’

Laura took the conventional route and walked around the lounge, lying down next to Eve. Eve pressed herself against the back of the lounge so Laura wouldn’t fall off. They both stared up at the ceiling, their short breaths the only sound. Laura imagined time to stretch on, with the only presence being Eve’s body next to her. The warmth of her body could be her blanket. They could stay locked in her apartment, denying the existence of the outside world and giving into their own need to be understood completely by another person, through whispered secrets, untold memories. They fell asleep without realising they were tired. Eve was the first to wake, hours later, the night still present. She stood; Laura didn’t stir. Eve combed her hair back against her scalp, wondering what she was doing. She knew she was getting too close, but she wanted to be around Laura. She gave her hand one last kiss before pulling on the door.

Eve bolted against the pavement. The cold night air whipped against her face. Her hair blew back behind her scalp with swift movements. She needed Laura but she couldn’t be what Laura needed right now, and she knew it. She swerved through people, lucky not to knock anyone over. Beads of cold sweat dripped down her forehead. She wiped them with the back of her hand and, after several blocks, finally came to the foot of her apartment complex. The stale smell of unfiltered air in the entrance stung her nostrils. Eve saw through the mess she had made of her thoughts and fell into a deep sleep. Her body longed to be next to Laura once again, their voices hushed whispers in the dark.

Laura drifted to the familiar touch of Eve’s hands. Floating further away, the warmth faded and morphed as her mind grew into the reality of her consciousness.

She woke with a start, her neck aching, her hands searching. Laura scrambled to her room and was out the door in ten minutes. She had only a moment to ponder when Eve had left, when the elevator doors slid open onto the car park. For the whole ride to the studio, Laura’s thoughts were elsewhere, still stuck in a dream she’d had of the sky falling down in pieces, raining down on her and Eve.

They filmed four scenes, with several takes until they the director was satisfied. Laura took her lunchbreak outside, while she waited to film her last two scenes for the day. She was walking the length of the back lot when she heard a voice calling after her. She turned to see Levi coming towards her. Laura gave him a look, hoping he would back away. Instead, he powered through unfazed and gave her a smile.

‘Working on a tan?’ His eyes ran over her bare forearms.

Laura shifted them behind her back. ‘Can I help you with something?’

Alex looked out into the distance. The sun warmed his unlined face. ‘I was just wondering when you wanted to get that coffee?’

Laura decided to get right to the point. ‘I don’t get involved with cast members.’

Alex pushed forwards as if she hadn’t said anything at all. ‘I just thought … given that we are supposed to play a couple …’

Laura could see he wanted something more from her. It was the way he stood, the way he talked, the way he watched her. A woman knew. Under other circumstances, Laura would have suggested coffee first, but she’d got a bad feeling from him the first time she heard him speak. There was something about him she couldn’t shake. Laura drew away from him without a word, she didn’t care if she came across rude.

She found herself in her dressing room, dialling Eve’s number. She hadn’t even remembered picking up her phone. Eve picked up on the fourth ring. The words started pouring out of her. She hadn’t known what she was going to say. Even as she spoke the words, she still wasn’t sure.

‘There used to be this strange cuckoo clock in the hallway of the house that I grew up in. It was wooden with chipped blue paint; it freaked me out but my mother refused to get rid of it. This clock had no story, like it had been picked up out of the gutter. It’s probably still there. God, I hated that clock.’ Laura broke off. ‘You know, when I was a kid, I was so bossy. I would argue with my mother over … everything. Why we had to eat peas, or why the alphabet was in a certain order. I just hated … rules. When I was younger, I used to leave, in the middle of the night. Like I was going to run away but I never did. I would go off on an adventure while everyone slept. I wandered street after street. I wanted to see the world. I would get lost in neighbourhoods, see things when no one was there. I just—’ Laura’s voice caught, not sure why she was telling Eve this confession. ‘I don’t know when that changed. You know, that adventure.’

Eve cleared her throat. ‘You grew up. That’s what happened.’ She was taken aback by the conversation, not sure what had prompted it. ‘Laura, are you okay?’

Laura swallowed. She was. ‘Yeah, sorry, I just … That was just on my mind.’

Then Eve said two words that made Laura’s body tingle. She held onto every single letter, the way they slipped from her mouth. ‘Keep going.’

Laura found herself doing just that.