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How to use this book

This book is divided into sections and within each section you will find a range of rules. Some are fairly basic, things that everyone should already know; others are more specific and are for the people I call genuine rule enthusiasts. And occasionally you will come across rules so particular and persnickety that only absolute zealots like myself will be able to get on board. I have separated these into special sealed sections so that the more tolerant reader can avoid them easily.

Whatever level of rule disciple you are, know that reading this book and observing these rules will definitely make the world a nicer place. I also guarantee you will be better looking and better informed; in fact, you’ll be a better human overall. So think of it as a self-help book, only you don’t have to give up sugar, buy expensive exercise equipment or keep a diary of your dreams. All you have to do is speak up when you see someone breaking the rules. A gentle but friendly reminder is all it takes: ‘Hey buddy! Rule number 266—no sunglasses on the back of your neck, cheers mate, just letting you know.’ There’s no need to be rude or confrontational about it, keep it light—remember, like me, you’re here to help.