Читать книгу Anxiety For Dummies - W. Doyle Gentry, Laura L. Smith - Страница 66

Consider starting a notebook or keeping a file for carrying out various exercises in this book. Whether you use a notebook, your phone, or another device, divide a page into two columns. Label the left column “Excuses” and the right column “Arguments Against My Excuses.” Under “Excuses” write each of the top ten excuses (see the earlier section “Having Second Thoughts about Change”) that apply to you. Then, as a way to come up with arguments against your excuses, ask yourself the following questions:

 Does my excuse presume a catastrophe is coming?

 Am I exaggerating the truth?

 Can I find any evidence that would contradict my excuse?

 Can I think of people to whom my excuse doesn’t apply? And if it doesn’t apply to them, why should it apply to me?

 Am I trying to predict the future with negative thinking when no one can ever know the future?

Using those questions to guide your effort, jot down the best arguments you can for picking your excuses apart. The following example of Miguel shows how he attacked his most stubborn excuses for not changing.

 Miguel suffers from anxiety and has resisted dealing with his problem for years. He lists his major excuses for not doing anything and uses the preceding questions to develop arguments against each of his excuses. Table 4-2 shows what he came up with for what he considered his most compelling excuses.

TABLE 4-2 Miguel’s Excuses versus Arguments Against His Excuses

Excuse for Staying Stuck	Arguments Against My Excuse
If I try and fail, I’ll make a fool of myself. My friends and family would think I was stupid to even try.	What do I mean by “making a fool of myself?” A true fool wouldn’t even try. My family and friends would applaud any positive attempt I made, whether I succeed or not.
Feelings can’t really be controlled. You’re just fooling yourself if you think otherwise. You feel the way you feel.	Evidence tells me I’ve made other changes in my life. Many people go to therapy for some reason; surely it makes them feel better or there wouldn’t be a zillion therapists in the world. My best friend overcame his anxiety, so why can’t I?

Miguel discovered that arguing against his excuses finally gave him the courage to start making changes. You can do the same. Spend some time looking at your excuses that cause you to delay or put off working on your anxiety. Realize that working on your anxiety will pay off over time.