Читать книгу How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success - Leil Lowndes, Leil Lowndes - Страница 22

Gentlemen, what are the right moves when you spot a woman you think you would like to make part of your future? No argument here. You must approach, and you must do it fast. The old chestnut ‘he who hesitates is lost’ is a rock-hard nut in the singles’ jungle.

Once a male friend (a PMF, or platonic male friend, as we called non-romantic male friends in secondary school) and I were dining at a restaurant. My PMF, Phil, spotted a strikingly beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar behind him. He turned back to me and announced, ‘That’s the woman I’m going to marry!’

‘Congratulations. So how do you intend to go about meeting her?’ I challenged.

‘Let’s see,’ he mused. ‘Perhaps I’ll just go up to her and say hello. No,’ he decided. ‘That’s too mundane for my future bride. Maybe I’ll go and offer to buy her a drink. No, that’s too trite. Possibly,’ he joked. ‘I’ll go tell her I’m passionately in love with her. No, that’s too forward. Shall I tell her I want to make her the mother of my children? No, that’s premature.’

While Phil was bantering on about his approach, I watched over his shoulder as a good-looking man marched right up to Phil’s intended and sat on the empty stool next to her. By the time my friend turned around, the newcomer and Phil’s never-to-be bride were in deep conversation. ‘Love at first sight’ became Phil’s ‘loss at first sight’. As it usually does for a Hunter who hesitates.

When you spot an attractive lady, what is the best strategy? Let your body do the talking. First, use your eyes. Look at her and hold your eye contact for a few extra seconds. Be prepared for her to look away. A woman has been trained to lower her eyes when a man looks at her. This does not mean she is not interested. An analysis of flirtation patterns tells us if, after looking away, the woman looks up again within 45 seconds, she welcomes your attention.

Gentlemen, set your chronograph. As she coyly feigns interest in something else in the room, clock how long it takes for her to glance back at you. If it’s within 45 seconds, proceed as follows.

Smile at her and give her a little nod. Think of it as making a reservation for a table at an exclusive restaurant. When you have signalled a woman’s attention, you have made your reservation to talk to her. Abolish all thoughts of ‘What will she think of me if I’m too forward or move too fast?’ She won’t think anything of you – good or bad – if you don’t meet her. If you don’t move fast, every woman will be the one that got away.

TECHNIQUE 7 (FOR HUNTERS)

Move Fast

‘Move fast’ doesn’t mean making a beeline for your Quarry and jumping her bones. It simply means immediately making your presence known by signalling your interest. Here is the best proven method.

Make eye contact. Maintain steady eye contact with her and hold it just a tad too long.

Smile at her. Make sure your smile is friendly and respectful, not a leering grin or a salacious smirk.

Give her a nod. If she returns your gaze within the decisive 45 seconds, nod slightly. The nod reads, ‘I like you. May I make a reservation to talk with you?’

Move within her range. The final step is to move close enough to her to talk.

You are now in position for conversation. What should you say to her first? Abolish the words opening line from your thoughts. Generic lines come across just like that – lines. After my love seminars, many a shy Hunter has asked me, ‘What’s a good opening line?’ I find it charming that men ponder such dilemmas.

Once an extremely shy chap attending my seminar pulled a dog-eared book out of his pocket called How to Pick up Girls. Apparently he was not the first to seek such guidance. The book is twenty-five years old and has sold over two million copies, primarily through advertising in men’s magazines. It suggests antique gems like, ‘Don’t tell me a beautiful girl like you doesn’t have a date tonight’ and ‘Are you a model?’ This scintillating repartee may have worked when Dad met Mum, but in our more enlightened times women abhor lines. Far more significant that what you say is how you look and how you say whatever you say.

Gentlemen, your opening words should relate to the woman or the current situation. Ask her what time it is. Compliment her watch or her outfit. Ask her for directions. Inquire how she knows the host or hostess of the party. In fact, the less clever your opener, the better, because this early in your relationship she is not metabolizing your words – she is checking you out. Her brain is hard at work sizing you up on your manner and your words. Whatever you say, she knows it is just an excuse for you to talk to her. If she likes you, that is fine with her.

Although you should not memorize any line, do pay attention to the first words which flow from your lips. Just as the first glimpse of you should please your Quarry’s eyes, so should your first words delight her ears. Remember, that first sentence to your Quarry is 100 per cent of her sampling of you so far. If you open with a complaint, in her book you will be a complainer. If you open with a conceited remark, she will label you a braggart. But if your first words charm her, she will find you charming.

Gentlemen, you may be wondering why you have to play it cool. Why do you have to be so subtle, controlled and precise in your approach? It all goes back to nature. Buried deep in a woman’s instincts, when she looks at you, is a subconscious judgement of you as a possible partner. She wants to feel you are captivated by her. But she also wants to know that you can control your animal passion, thus demonstrating what a suave and effective partner you would be in life.