Читать книгу Cougar of Spirit Lake - Linnette MDiv Eller - Страница 6

Far away from the valley, Winter Woman was brought abruptly awake from her dream. This one had shaken her badly! It was a view of such unspeakable brutality that had she not seen it in a dream, she could never have imagined such an atrocity possible. A fine bead of sweat coated her forehead as she rolled over only to find herself staring into the green eyes of her son. He was sitting on the other side of the stone fireplace, stirring the embers absently with a stick. It startled her to see him sitting there.

“I am sorry if I woke you my son, did I cry out in my sleep?"

“No, I was already awake. I noticed your restlessness, but you made no sounds.”

“Then what is it? Can you not sleep? If you are troubled and need to talk, I am more than awake now.”

What she did not say to him was that she had more than once wondered if her son also had some form of the gifts. As tonight, he seemed to know of her dreams, before she had told anyone. She also knew on the morning of his father's death that he had been agitated and had sorrow in his eyes when he looked at her over the morning meal. She wondered if he did have the gift of dreams or other such gifts if he would ever tell her. Cougar, her son was a complex man. Yes, he was different from anyone else in this village or any other village that she had been to over the years. Her son was a very complicated man indeed.

“Why are you sleeping here by the fire, Mother? Do you not like the beds I have built in the sleeping rooms? You know, you will not upset me if you choose to come in here and sleep, it is your comfort that I want, only that. Would you like me to bring the bedding in here for you?”

“Oh no, no. I only fall asleep in here sometimes. I do like the sleeping rooms. What did you say they are called?”

“They are called bedchambers Mother, but I am not trying to change your ways, or for that matter, our customs. I only want to make more comfort for us.”

“Cougar, you have done so too! No, I do really prefer the steeping rooms. I did not intend to fall asleep by the fire, here in our big room, which is the sitting room, correct?”

“Correct. You will promise that if you do not like living in the lodge that you will say so, it is for you, and if you are not happy, I am not happy, you will tell me won't you?”

“I will always be truthful with you, Cougar, of that you may rest assured.” Her son was so intelligent her Grandfather had told her, of how he had done in his studies, and the excellence in all that he endeavored to do. She was so very proud of him. She loved him deeply, and held great admiration for him.

“What have you dreamed this night Mother that has such worry on your face?”

“It is of no consequence, my son, and I have not yet learned the meaning of this dream. Many parts of it are still held in mystery for me.”

“This is a different dream from those before is it not?”

“Yes, this dream was different but some of the same people as in the other dreams.” She replied looking at him quizzically, so he did know of what her dreams held!

“Yet you know that it is related to the other dreams, don't you?” He asked softly.

She again looked at her son. He was looking at her very intently with the flames that he had made when he fed the embers lighting his face. She considered for a moment that it really was not her place to question the Chief. Yet on this night he was more her son than Chief. Yes, her only son, her only child, and so, with a maternal instinct older than time she looked at him again. His eyes did not leave her face, and as always, when viewing his Mother, they were soft and loving.

“How is it you know of my dreams, Cougar?”

“I think you know the answer to that Mother.” He said very softly, still watching her intently. He had decided he was going to tell her this night. It had always seemed to him that he should not speak of this to anyone. It was one thing for Grandfather to have dreams, and for her to have dreams, but he was not certain that as a Chief that he should acknowledge having some of the gifts. He knew how the white people felt about these things.

His beautiful and gentle Mother would face inquisition had she been born in England or even the Eastern portions of this new country. She would have been labeled a witch and subjected to scorn and hatred or worse, much worse. There were some of the things in the world of the white man that he liked, although he would not admit this to any but himself. Other things filled him with disgust and scorn. As when he thought of how white people treated things that were unknown to them with such hatred. As his Mother's gifts.

“I think it is time you spoke to me my son.” Winter Woman said very gently.

“Yes, I think you are right, my dear Mother, but it is so complex.” He sat deeply in thought for a moment before continuing, then looking at her, he spoke.

“To begin with, I do not think that I have the gifts to the extent of you and Grandfather. I have experienced flashes, of what I would call visions, but not only as in a dream. I have these flashes while awake as well. Grandfather's dreams, and yours, are complete. Mine are like scenes without a full picture of all that is around the picture itself. The white people have what they call hunches. To you this is the gift of The Sense, and in some respects, I do share this with you. I just do not feel that what I have is to the degree of your gifts.”

He sat deeply in thought for a moment. There were so many things unexplained.

“I have given much thought to all of this. I speak with you Mother, but not with my people of this. I do not feel that this is acceptable for their Chief. I am not even certain why I feel this way, but I do. Perhaps in a way this too is the sense. I sense that it would not be good to share the knowledge with others that I have any gifts at all. My most pronounced gift, if that is what it is, seems to be a kinship with my namesake. When I have these flashes of vision, it is, as though I am seeing them through the eyes of the Great Cat, not my own. I only see what his eyes see. It is almost a glimpse, so to speak.”

His face flashed with pain as memories came to this mind from times far past. “I did not know what was to happen to my Father, yet I knew that something was. I knew there would be something happen that was to sadden your heart heavily that morning, I went to Spirit Lake with Father. The Lake and I also share something. Before my Father and I went out upon the Lake I had looked into the water. There have been other times that this has also happened. When the Lake is the color of the eyes of the Great Cat, there are things that I see in it, I saw that morning in the water what was to come. When I balked, Father became upset, even angry. He felt the white man's way had softened me, taken the Spirit of the Brave from me. This was not so. I was too young to know how to tell him of these things and in the end, he went upon the water. As we were pushing out from the shore, I looked up and into the eyes of the Great Cat as He watched from His rock above. It came to me as if a voice had spoken. That is how clearly it came; telling me I could not change what was to be. I had a heavy heart when we were finally upon the water, and still too young to fully heed the meaning of the voice. Now as a man, I understand that what was meant to be, I could not have changed.”

“I saw the great storm coming down at us across the mountain, and again, I tried to convince my Father to return to shore. It was of no use. Father became outraged again saying to me that I had become soft, like a maiden instead of a brave. When the huge waves came and the lightning struck near us, again I pleaded with Father.” Cougar's face was showing the sadness he felt remembering that tragic day, he sighed heavily and looked at his Mother. He could see that she too was remembering and her heart heavy.

“Mother, there are times I have hated these gifts. To what use are they? If we cannot use them to prevent these kinds of things from happening, why do we have them? You knew what was to happen to Father, and when we were at the Lake, I knew as well. To what use was it? You lost your husband that day, and I lost my Father, even though we had both been forewarned of what was to be. Why? Why Mother? Do you know the answer?”

“No. I cannot give you the answer. Grandfather could not answer the same question when I asked it of him. It is part of the mystery. Yet, you must also remember that there have been other times that the gifts have saved many. Perhaps they are only of use as warnings. If those that should heed the warning do not, then we are not able to change what is to be. I have come to believe that in order for the gifts to help, they have to be heeded. It is for each man to make his own decision. We cannot do this for them. We can only warn them.”

Both sat quietly for a time, lost in their own thoughts as they looked into the flames. Both were troubled in their own way, yet not quite knowing why. Had they put their thoughts into words, perhaps they would have said they could sense there were things going on, things they did not understand. They knew that in a way, also unknown to them, that it was to greatly change both of their lives, and other lives in the future beyond them.

Finally coming out of her thoughts, Winter Woman looked at her son. She dreaded to ask, but at the same time must know his answer. She drew in a breath and looked back to the fire. She would be glad to have this mystery done with. This was not her usual dream pattern at all.

“Do you know this white girl from your days in their schools?”

He looked long and hard at his Mother. He was mystified about the girl himself. He knew without knowing that his Mother had seen the same girl in her dreams. Still, it was a mystery to both of them.

“I have thought about it many times. I do not know her, and I cannot recall having seen her before, not even so much as a passing glance.”

“She is the same girl for you? The girl with the eyes of the Great Cat, only younger, in an innocent way, almost those of a kitten. Her hair is like a winter sunset with the colors of the Cat streaking through it, shimmering like water. This is the same girl is it not?”

“Yes, this is the same girl I have seen. It seems that neither of us knows this girl. Nor can we comprehend how it is that we have both seen her. We do know, however peculiar it may be, we both do know. I have no idea why we are seeing her Mother. I wish I did! I find it frustrating, and at times I become very angry about these visions, but you know this too.”

Again, he sighed deeply, feeling the odd sadness lingering about them in the room.

“Mother,” he said in a gentle voice, “tonight the girl harmed in the dream was not the girl of your previous dreams, that girl still remains safe. She was still in the window when the other happened.”

Winter Woman's head snapped up to look at him. Now she was surprised! She did not think he had seen so much of this hideous dream of tonight!

“You saw all of this in the dream too! This dream of tonight?”

“Not exactly. Again, just flashes of vision. Visions of unspeakable acts. I woke from the dream feeling rage and disgust! I had glimpsed the girl standing in the window. It was not what I saw. I mean, not what I was able to actually view, that gave me these feelings. It was more what I felt, a very menacing feeling. Evil was all around the girl, threatening her, and yet there seemed no imminent danger. I only saw her. When I spoke these words to you just now that it was not her, I didn't even realize I was saying them until they were spoken. No, Mother I do not fully know of the dream that has plagued you this night. I only knew I had to say the words to you that the girl is not harmed. Harm hovers near her, this, I do know, but the unspeakable evil that I felt did not harm her. At least not on, this night.”

Winter Woman heaved a sigh of relief. She had been unconsciously holding herself very tense, since she had awakened from her dream. She knew her son was right as soon as the words were spoken. The unspeakable violence she had witnessed did not happen to the girl in the window. That was what she had thought when she had come awake though. When he said the words to her, she had visibly relaxed and let out her breath.

“Cougar, it has been good to share this with you tonight. Thank you my son, for sharing that which has been troubling you also. I have dearly missed having Grandfather here to discuss my gifts and to help me understand them. Now that you have spoken with me, I feel much better.”

“Mother, we will speak many more nights to come. Never fear bringing your need to talk to me. I am glad that I can do this for you and glad that I can now speak with you about my gifts. It has helped me greatly as well.”

They both rose, and bade each other to sleep well and went back to their beds. Cougar had not brought all that had been troubling him to her. Perhaps he would, but not yet. He didn't understand it well enough to place into words, not yet. The girl troubled him greatly, more and more lately. She troubled him in a way that he could not share with his Mother. She troubled him as no woman had ever done, until now. He felt an odd emptiness in his chest, and at times a familiar ache in his groin when his thoughts turned to the girl. It was with very great difficulty that the young Chief, Cougar of Spirit Lake found sleep this night, as with many nights before. The green eyes, delicate features and the masses of tawny hair floating through his mind until sleep finally claimed him.

Had Grandfather been still with Winter Woman and her son, he would be smiling in his robes as he watched them sleep. These two did not yet realize how their minds worked. Many words had not been spoken aloud tonight, but these two did not realize that, as they never did. Grandfather had seen this many times as the boy was growing. They knew each other's thoughts. No actual words had to be spoken for this to happen and many conversations between them were only half conversations, fewer words spoken than either realized. Grandfather would have known too that to some extent, Cougar had this gift with many people, whereas Winter Woman only shared hers with her son.

Cougar had not totally realized his gifts yet. It had not yet been noticed by him that the words he heard often had not actually been spoken. There had been many times in the world of the white men that he had startled people by answering them before they voiced their question. None had said this to him however. There was something more than his size that kept them in awe of this man. Indeed, they knew they didn't want to bring anything to his attention that he didn't want to have done. He exuded a strength and presence that were not only impressive but known to have struck some with a little fear, women he had known included. The women did not fear his strength, rather they feared losing their hearts to him. Yes, Grandfather would have smiled at this. A gift such as that bestowed upon Cougar would come to serve him well in his lifetime of this, he could be certain.