Читать книгу The Devious Book for Cats: Cats have nine lives. Shouldn’t they be lived to the fullest? - Литагент HarperCollins USD, Ю. Д. Земенков, Koostaja: Ajakiri New Scientist - Страница 11

Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom

Today’s cat is busier than ever. A crush of distractions and ever-increasing responsibilities compete for our limited attention. Scan the ceiling for bugs. Check the sink for dirty dishes. Tear apart that new bouquet of flowers on the coffee table. Just thinking about it all is enough to drive you mad.

Being beautifully groomed may seem like yet another chore, but a cat’s appearance can’t be put at the bottom of the list.

Life should never get in the way of your beauty. Just groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom right through a busy day.

MID-SECTION

Properly wedging in between your sleeping person’s knees sometimes takes quite a few tries. Don’t let an opportunity for a good mid-section cleaning go by as she tosses back and forth. She’s soundly half-asleep, so go ahead and slurp all you want.

PAWS

You’ve been scratching at the underside of the mattress for fifteen minutes straight. Take a break now and then to rid your lovely mitts of all that dust while your person pleads for you to come out of there.

BEHIND THE EARS

When smacking the bedroom door to gain entry, stop occasionally to hear if your person is climbing out of bed. That’s a good time to clean well behind the ears before resuming scratching at the door until it opens.

UNDER THE CHIN

The shower curtain requires cleaning again and your person is too busy blow-drying her hair to be bothered. Licking it spotless falls to you, and that’s a big job. Use the water that collects in the fur under your chin as a moisturizer. You’ll look so good leaving the bathroom no one will ever guess how much work you did.

SHOULDERS

Don’t be tempted to stand idly watching your person try to find her keys before she leaves the house. It’s an entertaining way to spend ten minutes, but not really the best use of your time. Here’s a time-saving tip: The moment she starts to wave goodbye, take a serious interest in your shoulders. After all, the show’s pretty much over and there’s no point in just standing there.

FACE

As you’re getting comfortable for the ride to Planet Naptune, squeeze in a quick scrub of your pretty face. You’ll be a more attractive snoozer and also discover that the dream flying saucer goes even faster with slick whiskers.

BOTTOM

When your person returns home you’re expected to sit down and listen to her day. It’s just as easy to feign paying attention while cleaning your bottom.