Читать книгу The Devious Book for Cats: Cats have nine lives. Shouldn’t they be lived to the fullest? - Литагент HarperCollins USD, Ю. Д. Земенков, Koostaja: Ajakiri New Scientist - Страница 9

Extraordinary Cats in History – Part I

All cats love to leave their mark on things. People, furniture, books, even whole houses can be declared cat property and, once that happens, never be taken away.

Marking a place in history is another matter. To be remembered forever takes more than a simple brush against destiny, and it’s definitely not as easy as modifying a video-game system by rubbing your face on the controller.

What follows are tales of those who earned their place in the annals of history with persistence, courage, intelligence and cunning. These cats will always be revered. They are extraordinary.

FRED – UNDERCOVER DETECTIVE CAT

While law enforcement agencies have employed many dogs, the number of cat police officers has been much smaller. This is mainly due to the fact that cats aren’t particularly keen on intractable rules and generally prefer more flexible guidelines. There is, however, one absolute law that must be obeyed: Anyone practising veterinary medicine had better be properly qualified and licensed. An American cat named Fred discovered that law being broken and decided to do something about it.

When Fred was a kitten living on the mean streets of New York City, he had a host of health problems, and it didn’t appear there was much hope for him. Luckily, Fred was rescued by an animal sanctuary. He was nursed back to health and eventually became part of a loving family.

Fred’s adopted family worked in the New York District Attorney’s Office. One case under investigation concerned a phony veterinarian operating without proper training or licensing. The DA’s office was contacted by the owner of a dog named Burt who had endured an unsafe and unnecessary surgery.

A brief investigation revealed that Burt was not the first animal to be victimized by this quack. Less than a year after being plucked from the streets, Fred was enlisted to help bring down the perpetrator. He signed on without reservation. The guy had to be stopped.

A sting was set in motion. First, police outfitted a mock apartment in Brooklyn with concealed microphones and cameras. Then a detective contacted the phony vet and inquired about having her cat neutered. When the appointment was scheduled, the District Attorney’s Office sent in Fred as their undercover cat.

The subject arrived at the apartment and agreed to neuter Fred for the sum of $135. The trap was sprung. As he tried to leave with Fred in a cat carrier, waiting detectives cuffed him.

Following the arrest, Fred received many honours. He appeared at press conferences wearing his DA badge, received a Law Enforcement Appreciation Award, and was even presented the Mayor’s Alliance Award by Mary Tyler Moore and Bernadette Peters on Broadway.

It is with a heavy heart that we tell you Fred passed away in 2006. His death remains a tragic loss, but it is comforting to know Fred will never be forgotten.

ALICE – THE CAT WHO PLAYS GUITAR BETTER THAN JIMI HENDRIX

As anyone who has ever poked around on You Tube will attest, cats can play the piano. The world is sadly unaware, however, of a freaky cat named Alice. Not only is she the first feline to play the guitar, but Alice can also jam better than Jimi Hendrix.

Alice lives in Sandusky, Ohio – a long ways from Jimi Hendrix’s hometown of Seattle, Washington, but the two do share a birthday, 27 November. Alice knows this because her person, Danny B., makes it a point to tell her at almost any opportunity.

Danny B. has been an aspiring guitarist for fourteen years, and sometime in 2003 he inspired Alice to take up the instrument.

One night she watched as Danny B. practised, her ears twitching each time he hit a bad note. He became progressively more discouraged, eventually throwing the guitar down in frustration.

After running out to the garage for a little while, he came back and popped in his Woodstock DVD for the 167th time. As Danny B. muttered about how great Hendrix was, Alice sniffed around his guitar and pawed at the strings. She liked how it felt but got scared at the noise and ran to Danny B.’s lap, curling up with him on the sofa to watch how Hendrix did it.

For five years Alice followed that same basic schedule. Every night after Danny B. finished practising, she lounged with him on the sofa and studied Hendrix intently until the pizza came.

In time, Alice began to understand where Jimi was coming from. She got the guitar and started making noises that weren’t frightening. Cats started to come from all over to peer in the window and watch her jam. With her eyes closed and head tilted back, Alice put on the show she learned from Hendrix, but then took it a step further.

Instead of just playing with her teeth and behind her back, Alice perfected the trick of using her tail, something that not even Jimi dreamt of doing. Having five claws on each paw meant she could play without a pick. With this technique Alice brought a new meaning to the term ‘guitar shredding’.

Danny B. still doesn’t know Alice can play, because she waits until he’s gone to work before cranking up the amplifier. Recently she has been putting the finishing touches on her album, Salmon: Bold as Love. It’s a shame the human world will be deprived of it, but her cat fans in Sandusky are preparing to be blown away. Rumour has it that her use of a meow-meow pedal is unbelievable.