Читать книгу The Yummy Mummy’s Family Handbook - Liz Fraser - Страница 11

Despite living together in married bliss (ahem!) for a number of years, one day you may both feel that there is something missing—something that would take your relationship to the next level and give you more to talk about again, other than what you did at work, what’s on the telly or whose turn it is to do the washing. So you decide to have a baby.

And there it is: the enormous, irreversible leap from Coupledom to Family Life. The minute you fix your roots by producing little pooing, vomiting, tantrum-throwing branches of your own, you shed your neat ‘Just-the-two-of-us’ way of life and get to wear a grubby, slightly squashed but very cosy ‘family’ hat instead.

Nobody ever tells you this—because it’s assumed you will be overcome with wonder at your new arrival and will spend six months floating on fluffy pink clouds of Family Joy—but suddenly having your very own family can be terrifying. There you were, eating take-aways, having sex in the kitchen, worrying whether you should invest your birthday money in an almost-affordable work of modern art or blow it all on a dirty weekend in Bath, and having marathon Lost-watching sessions accompanied by too many bottles of wine, when suddenly—Holy Shit!—you have a family. A real, live family complete with enormous won’t-go-away-if-I-close-my-eyes-and-think-of-something-else responsibilities, and financial constraints, and a baby, and a husband-who-is-also-a father, and a family car, and…can’t breathe, must get out…what’s happened to me? HELP!