Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 483

Jas came round AT LAST. I was a bit miffed with her about last night and not bothering to come round earlier. She was lying on my bed and I could see her vast pantibus underneath her skirt. I said, “Jas, do you mind? I’m not feeling very well. I think I might have jet lag from coming home from Och-aye land.”

“You haven’t got a tan.”

What is the point? I gave her my worst look. She didn’t notice, of course, just went on putting on my mascara. She CANNOT stop pouting every time she sees herself in a mirror. She said, “We had a great time at the cinema. Dave the Laugh is really … you know …” (Pouty pout.)

“What?”

“Well, you know …” (Pouty pout.) “ … a laugh.”

I tried not to be sarcastic or raise my eyebrows ironically, because I didn’t want to draw any attention to them. I had not quite achieved the sophisticated look that I wanted with Mum’s hair remover. In fact, I had achieved the “someone has just stuck a firework up my bottom” look. But you couldn’t really tell unless you pulled my fringe back.

Anyway, you’d have to be on fire for Jas to notice anything. She was rambling on. “Do you think I should get my hair cut really short at the back and kind of longer at the front?”

I hadn’t the remotest interest in Jas’s head but I know you have to let her rave on about herself a bit otherwise you never get to talk about yourself. Then she said, “Ellen really likes Dave the Laugh.”

“Huh?”

“She stayed round at my place for the night and we talked until about four a.m. That’s why I am so tired.”

“It’s nice that you have got a new lezzie mate, Jas, but what has that got to do with me?”

“She didn’t sleep in my bed.”

“So you say.”

“Well she didn’t.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jas. If you swing both ways that is your personal choice. I’m sure Tom will understand if you tell him you are a bisexual.”

“Oh shut up – you’re being all moody and stressy because Robbie hasn’t phoned you.”

She’s right, actually, which is annoying. I feel all pent up, like in Cell block H. I said, “Let’s put on some really loud CDs and go apeshit crazy.”

We did this fab dance routine. It was duo head shaking, kick turn, jump on bed, snog teddy then back to the head shaking. I was feeling quite perked up. Then, of course, someone had to spoil it. I had forgotten about the Return of the Mad Bearded One. He came in the front door and it was stomp, stomp, “Bloody hell!”, then crash, stomp, stomp, yell: “Georgia!!! Are you deaf?!!! Turn that racket down, I could hear it at the end of the bloody street!!”

I shouted back, “Pardon? Can you speak up, Dad, there’s really loud music playing!!!” Which made Jas and me laugh a lot. But not El Beardo.