Читать книгу He Who Returned - Martin Fieber - Страница 10

What a lively scene the alleyways of Nazareth offered up that evening! The celebration for the family of Joseph was held in the courtyard of Samuels home. This simply was the largest gathering place in the little village. If all attended, the 300 inhabitants of Nazareth could just barely fit into the place. Samuel, Jeroham, the shepard, and Jacob, the potter, together formed Nazareth’s council of elders, and yesterday they had had a long discussion about where to hold the celebration: whether in the house of the rabbi or rather down on the meadow before the gates of Nazareth. Ample space was an argument for the meadow, for there the children would have room to play. However since the meadow was so large, it would have required thrice as many torches to be lit. And some mothers would have had reservations about letting their children play until late in the night out on the meadow. One was too afraid of the goat-elves, those misshaped nature spirits which wandered about in the area at night and could kidnap small children. Many years ago two children actually had disappeared. However everyone doubted whether the goat-elves really were involved in that. In the end the decision was made in favor of the smaller, more cozy and secure courtyard of the Rabbi.

Evening came. Almost all inhabitants of the village were about. Women were carrying bowls of food to the courtyard of the Rabbi, the children were allowed to play out in the alleys longer, and the men stood around together in groups wrapped up in their important discussions.

Joshua was excited in a strange way this evening. He did not know why, but a kind of giddy anticipation filled his being. For surely Joseph would share the story of what his family had experienced in Egypt. Joshua loved stories and was looking forward to seeing Yeshua, the boy with the interesting eyes which had pierced him so deeply the day before. The children were still playing in small groups although it was already dark and not much of the light in the houses reached the alleyways. Joshua was playing hide and seek with Rachel, Ismael und Joseph. He constantly had to think of Yeshua, although he had not even had a full view of him yet.

“Joshua, you’re daydreaming again! Come on, you’re supposed to come and search for us.” Rachel’s voice brought him back from his thoughts.

Too bad that he would not be able to sit next to Rachel this evening, for as usual in Nazareth the men would have their own area and the women too after they had tended serving up the feast. “Umm, yes, true, I was just thinking of something else.”

“Either go sit down or play with us.”

“All right, then you had better go on and play without me.” Joshua gave Rachel the blindfold, turned around and walked through the little village on his own. He loved taking walks toward the end of the day when the first stars appeared in sky. Normally he was not allowed to do this, but this evening he used the time he still had before the celebration was to begin. Torches were already lit everywhere and illuminated the village.

And so he walked past their house and up a steep slope until he reached his favorite place. It was a beautiful majestic olive tree which throned on the small hill. Joshua always had the feeling that this noble tree guarded the village. Gazing down upon the horizon he could not see the village below from here. Joshua loved leaning up against the trunk of the gnarled old tree and feeling its bark. The view was splendid. In the west Joshua saw the Carmel Mountains, in the south he could see all across the Jesreel plains and even all the way to the Samarian hill country. He could see snow-clad Mount Hermon in the north and Mount Tabor in the east. He especially enjoyed the view of Tabor, whose majestic silhouette drew everyone’s attention, like a king.

What was that? In the distance he briefly saw a star blink. Then the light moved along the horizon, paused above the harmoniously rounded right peak of Tabor and blinked again. At the same moment a wonderful sense of comfort and love filled his being, in a way that he had never felt these before. He heard a voice in his head: “We are always with you. And do not forget that you are loved, even when life sometimes is a little more difficult.” Then the voice was gone along with the star, and Joshua became very quiet inside and simultaneously sad. Who in the world had that been? Who had just spoken to him? He looked around but could not discover anyone.

Joshua remained there for a while and listened to the wind and the leaves of the olive tree. Today he could not hear either of those tell a story. He was simply too excited. Too restless. He could think of nothing other than those beautiful blue eyes.

∞

When Joshua reappeared in the village everyone was just settling into their place, for the celebration was to begin any moment. He sat down next to Samuel, who was seated near Jeroham, the shepard. Jacob the potter and his son Ismael sat down to his left. The seats across were still available, however, as they appeared out of the shadows, he quickly realized that these were reserved for Joseph, his two older sons Jossi and Judah who had not left Nazareth, and for Yeshua. There they were again, those wonderful eyes. His excitement was so great that he was not able to say a thing. He wanted to say hi to Yeshua, but was only able to voice a silent kind of croak. So he simply nodded since he was not capable to do anything else. Yeshua’s eyes had touched him so deeply again. “I greet you too, Joshua“, Yeshua quickly said and smiled at him. Joshua returned the smile. This holy moment was however abruptly interrupted by Samuel, who stood up and requested the quiet attention of all.

“Friends, men and women of Nazareth.” Samuel’s loud words did not allow even the slightest noise from the audience. His deeply set dark eyes even increased this powerful presence. “May the peace of God descend upon you and may you sense his blessing upon you. I am happy that we today are allowed to celebrate our reunion with Joseph, the craftsman and his family in our humble home. Many years have passed since they left for Jerusalem. Let us lift our cups in honor of this reunion and in honor of God our Lord. Joseph, Yeshua, and Miriam. Here’s to you. Be blessed and let us praise God our Lord for this gift.”

The cups were lifted toward the heavens, the blessing was spoken and then the sweet wine of Galilee was drunk. The children were allowed to toast with grape juice and giggled merrily.

Then a second strong voice rang out. It was Josephs.

“Samuel, friends, people of Nazareth. My wide and I want to thank you for this wonderful celebration. We are happy to be so welcome, even though my then pregnant wife Miriam and I left on such short notice about five years ago and had to leave both my sons Jossi and Judah with their aunt Anna.” Joseph paused briefly to wait until the murmuring of the audience subsided. “We were not able to return earlier because destiny showed us another direction. Accept our thanks from the bottom of our heart. Now let us enjoy this feast together. Afterwards we will gladly report what we experienced in the last couple of years. God and his loving wisdom be praised for all eternity.” Again the cups were raised.

Now was the moment that all had been working towards on this day. All of the delicacies were served. There was warm sesame bread, cheese in olive oil spiced with garlic, fish fried in coriander and lamb roast with mint. Additionally grain and lentil soup, diverse salads, pastes and honey. Naturally the barley cake was not missing nor the wheat grain roasted in olive oil. There was something for everyone. And now everyone was smacking their lips, laughing, giggling, and some even singing. Joshua glanced over to Yeshua often, who always gave him a smile when their eyes met. Other than that the new arrival was quiet and absorbed in the meal. He looked very hungry. As it seemed to Joshua sometimes Yeshua even made a rather sad impression instead of a happy one.

“Joseph, please tell us where your destiny led you.” Samuel gave Joseph an intense look after he had set down the jug of wine on the low table next to himself and adjusted his garb.

“We are all very interested, or no?” Samuel’s jolly laugh raised the volume so quickly that Joshua nearly had a piece of lamb get stuck in his throat.

“Yes Joseph, tell us your experiences“, some called out and clapped their hands. Joshua looked over at Yeshua, who from that moment on kept his gaze downcast almost the entire time. Joshua could almost sense how embarrassing it was for Yeshua. Or was he even afraid?

“Good my friends, then I would like to begin.”, Joseph started, after he had removed the last remains of food from his bowl with a piece of sesame bread. With a glance across to Miriam at the neighboring table he could see that she was already well into sharing her stories, for the women were all laughing.

Joseph had a good-humoured face. He had dark and slightly curly hair that had taken on a slight greyish sheen. He had to be a little bit older, perhaps as old as Samuel. But was really nice about Joseph were his smiling eyes. They were not blue, but they were happy.

“Back then, when my wife Miriam was well into her pregnancy, she had a dream in which a messenger of the Lord appeared who told her that we should set out to Jerusalem.” Joseph had closed his eyes in order to better recall his memories. “That was the reason why we left Nazareth and went to Jerusalem. In the beginning I was opposed to it, since it was very dangerous in her condition, but she said that the child would not see the light of day until we reached the capital of Judah. I was not to be worry for she knew what she was doing. I let her convince me, for we all know who is in charge at home.”

Loud laughter of the men interrupted his narrative, only Samuel did not even break a smile.

“That was the last you heard of us for a long time. My sons Jossi und Judah from my first marriage found shelter with my sister Anna and were to continue my small craftsman workshop in the meantime. So we left for Jerusalem about two weeks before the Passover celebration. We had made arrangements that we would meet in Jerusalem if possible since Samuel and some others from the village also made the journey to Jerusalem every year. Unfortunately that did not work out for our son simply kept on not wanting to be born yet. “Joseph laughed toward Yeshua and sought eye contact, which his son however denied him. “After a while my wife heard another voice, after we had found shelter in a little house of an old acquaintance. We were to leave Jerusalem toward the south, toward Bethlehem. You all know that Miriam owns a small piece of land in Bethlehem that she leases out. And do you know what happened then?” Joseph looked around the group triumphantly.

“No, how are we supposed to know that. Go on with your story!”, Zephaniah shouted.

“You will not believe it.” Joseph stopped briefly in order to raise the level of attention even higher, though that was hardly possible at the moment since all were eagerly awaiting his story, some of them even almost forgetting to breathe.

“When we left the village, we could hardly believe our eyes, for a ray of light fell upon us although the sun was shining. But the light was much brighter than the sun. And the funny thing was that the ray accompanied us for our next few steps. And then, after the light had vanished, about fifty to sixty happy but excited people from all over the world received us and led us directly to a cave in Bethlehem, which had already been prepared for the birth of Yeshua. And do you know that?” Again Joseph paused and smiled at the group. His eyes flashed as if he were telling a joke. “This barn cave was on the land owned by Miriam. And that was good, for we had barely arrived in the cave when her contractions began. A midwife whom the tenants had called was also there. Everything, truly everything was prepared. Then the many men blocked off the cave entrance so that no one would be able to disturb the birth, as they told me later. The men began to pray. Despite the many different languages it became a quiet singsong that accompanied the entire birthing and gave especially Miriam much strength. Despite the many strange faces I felt strangely moved and a deep joy filled my heart..”

It had become quiet at the table of the men, and only quiet laughter was audible from the women’s table.

“Who were the men that received you in Bethlehem?”, Jeroham asked.

Before Joseph could give an answer, he was not sure at this moment whether he should tell the truth or invent a story, especially since his son was giving him an intense look just now. But in the end Joseph thought that he was in his home village, with his friends and his family. They would understand everything. So Joseph continued with his story.

“These men were wise people and seers from all of the countries in the world. Some came from Babylon, Rome, Greece, Media, Hispania, Arabia and Mesopotamia, from the legendary kingdom Wa, a German was among them, a few Egyptians, one seer even came from India, one from the Ch’in Empire in Asia. A mage of the Zapoteks was also present. He told us he came from a country across the great ocean. “

“Across the great ocean?” Samuel wanted to be sure he had heard correctly, since he could hardly believe his ears.

“Yes, exactly. I can still hardly believe it, even now as I am telling it to you. And all these men told the same story. Each of them had had the same dream, in which a voice told them that they should travel to Jerusalem. There in Jerusalem a bright star would show them the way. And this star would cast its rays on a very pregnant woman, who would then give birth to a king. A saviour, who would free all of humanity from its bondage. The wise people from those many countries said that they had to protect the birth since the demons of darkness wanted to prevent the birth at all cost.” Joseph took a sip from his cup of wine.

Joshua looked around. He could see that the eyes of the listeners were wide with surprise. In fact they all looked as if they had just seen a lion.

Joseph continued: “the presents that they brought served to create a holy vibration. Frankincense and myrrh were burnt to protect the birth, for as the wise told me, demons do not like those smells. Others brought some coins that we would need at some point they said. One wise man had brought a goat and another a donkey who was to bring us and especially the Messiah back to Nazareth in good health, which it did as you can all see.” Joseph smiled when he had finished telling the story. Yeshua gave him an intense look, and everyone looked at Yeshua.

Then a silence fell over the place Nazareth in the countryside of Galilee. At first it was a silence of wonder, yet just a few moments later it turned cold as ice. And then this wonderful evening of celebration was over abruptly. Discussions, arguments, curses and verbal attacks erupted. Samuel sought to gain allies in the shepard Jeroham and the potter Jacob, who shared in his indignation. Some of the men went to their wives and children in distress, pulling by away by the arms and quickly leaving.

Joshua had understood and was happy. Sarah had also understood and gave Miriam a smile and a nod, who now knew that she at least had one friend in the village. There was still silence until Joseph turned to Samuel.

“Samuel, Rabbi of Nazareth, didn’t anyone of you here in the village have a dream that announced the birth of Yeshua?”

Samuel was so stunned that at first he did not seem to know whether to hate, or damn Joseph or merely laugh at how naive he was.

“Joseph, do you realize that you are presuming to be the father of the future Messiah? The saviour of Israel? And what is worse, that you are pulling your son into this nonsensical and false story? Do you truly believe that your son, a son of a small construction craftsman in Galilee, is the king of the Jews? Are you so presumptuous or so dumb?”

Joshua was angry about the arrogance of his father. He knew that if he opened his mouth now he would be getting a beating for it. But he could simply not remain still. Up until know he had always carefully considered when he should say something in order to avoid being beaten for it, but now, gazing into the telling eyes of Yeshua, all of that did not matter to him. Joshua saw from the corner of his eyes that Sarah wanted to stop him, but it was already too late.

“Father, is it not written in the book of Micah: “But from you oh Bethlehem in Ephrata, tiny among the districts of Judah, shall one come forth who is to be ruler in Israel. His origin reaches far back, into the days of the beginning. Thus …“

Joshua did not get any further for Samuel had just given him such a hard slap in the face that he fell into Jacobs lap.

“Now you will go to bed and lie down. We will talk soon. Then I will show you who is your lord.”

Three days later Joshua still had difficulty hearing and two weeks later the wounds that Samuel’s rod had left on his bottom were still not fully healed. Would he ever be able to love Samuel as a son should love his father?

O, God. Where have I landed here? Today was the celebration in honor of our arrival. It was very heart-warming until Joseph opened up his mouth again and got into his story-telling mood, as we had to experience so often in Egypt. Then I experienced the rabbi, with whom I probably will have to deal more often. What a rigid and brutal man! The bad entities that I saw in his vicinity seemed to be very delighted that they are able to influence this man so much. Unfortunately he is one of the most important people in Nazareth and his influence is very large

I feel very sorry for his son Joshua. I do not want to have that kind of a father. I even prefer Joseph to that ... Maybe I should give Joshua a gift. I am sure that will make him feel better. He does not seem to have received many presents yet. Father, please take away the sadness from the hearts of the people and let them recognize your love. And let the Rabbi soon recognize how you really are! Amên.

∞

How dare that damned construction craftsman! Samuel cursed. The Rabbi was still upset even a couple days after the welcome celebration. Did this useless Joseph really believe his son could be the long awaited Messiah?

Since the family of Joseph had arrived in Nazareth, Samuel was not able to form a clear thought. But worst of all was that his own son, Joshua, his first born son, whom he in his innermost core regarded very highly, had exposed him, the rabbi of the village, the head of Nazareth’s, in front of other people. Why did that dreamer do this to him? Sarah had not spoken a word to him since that event and spent much time with Joshua in bed, who was still whimpering in pain. At least his son now had enough time to think about his impertinence. He, Samuel would take him on later.

Samuel often wandered about the area alone after school these last few days. He loved to walk around without a goal while delving into his conscience. Today he met the potter Jacob at the well. They greeted each other exuberantly. Together they walked across the meadow. Samuel was pleased that he had just met his friend Jacob for they often had the same opinion. And this was considerably easier than always having to deal with some know-it-all.

“Samuel, try not to be too upset about Joseph“, Jacob began, after they had walked side by side in silence for quite a ways. “There is no point in that and it does not serve you well. Joseph is a naive man. He does not know what he says. He is not intelligent enough to damage our village nor its reputation. He will be working in Sepphoris a lot in the future and due to this you will not see him often. Samuel, don’t let this get to you anymore.”

Samuel stopped and turned around in order to look at Nazareth, which was nestled up against the fertile hill like a cat. Truly a lovely village.

“Jacob, how can you remain so calm regarding this insolence! Do you truly believe that the saviour of our race is currently playing with kids his age in this backwater?”, he ranted. “And even with girls, who normally belong next to their mothers in order to learn how to cook and bake?” Samuel was in full swing now.

“Calm down, Samuel.”

“Don’t you think that we could be able to recognize him if he were the saviour? By his nobility, by his intelligence? Doesn’t Yeshua instead look rather like flour, so pale and sunken in? Believe me, this boy doesn’t even dare to say anything in school. Whenever I ask him the simplest of questions he says that he can’t make much sense of my explanations and that he still has to get used to his new home some. Very well, I am going to give him some more time, but soon I will tend to him more closely.” Samuel spat on the ground. “And besides he is a bastard, as anyone can see. That in and of itself should be proof that he can not be the saviour.”

“Samuel, you are right of course. “ Jacob took his arm from Samuel, who always walked as if he was running from a desert storm. “He truly can not be the Messiah. Besides, I believe that our saviour will grow up in Jerusalem and perhaps be one of the descendents of the noble priesthood, the Sadducees, if he ever comes at all. However, unlike you and your strong faith, may the Lord bless you Samuel, I do not believe that the Messiah will ever come.” Jacob took a big step in order to avoid some cow dung.

“Where were we?” Jacob looked at Samuel questioningly.

“Speaking of your lack of faith.”

“Ah yes, the Messiah. If there truly were a Messiah, then he would have already arrived long ago and saved us from the bondage of the Romans. You know how things look in Sepphoris. First came the Greeks, then the Romans. What once was the most beautiful city in Galilee was completely destroyed months ago.”

“You’ve got a point there, Jacob. And now it is being rebuilt in the spirit of the Greeks. Pah.” Samuel spat again.

“Exactly, and today it is even under the rulership of the stupid Herod Antipas. May he die of a foul illness soon, that son of a bitch.” Jacob snorted deeply through his large nodular nose.

“May God hear your words. “ Samuel nodded. “But I…“

“Samuel, I believe in God, our Lord, but I believe that we ought to free ourselves from the oppression through Rome. In this regard I am rather on the side of the zealots, on the side of Judas, their leader. The zealots could kill all of the Romans in my opinion, after all, don’t their crosses on which innocent Jews die horrible deaths stand everywhere on the hills of Judah and Galilee? Where is he, our saviour?”

“Jacob, nothing can be reached by violent means. The peaceful path is the right one.”

“Excuse me“, Jacob was a little confused about the statement of the rabbi, “then why did you beat up your son? He has not been to school in more than a week as I have heard, and people say that he has not spoken for days due to your slap in his face.”

Samuel was shocked and affronted. How could even his best friend now backstab him so wretchedly?

“Jacob, you yourself heard what Joshua said and how he exposed me, the guardian over the laws of our faith in our village.” Samuel had the feeling as if his head must explode any minute. “Every real man would have had the duty to punish his son as I did. After all Joshua was supposed to learn a lesson from this. And that he has, believe me. That dreamer will not risk a big lip again the way he did that evening. And in the future I will have a very watchful eye on my son. I will never let him get away with something like that again.”

After that they both went back to the village in silence. Samuel did not say anything anymore because he felt betrayed by Jacob, and Jacob remained silent because he did not feel understood by Samuel.

∞

“Joshua, please say something.” Sarah was desperate, for her son had not spoken for over two weeks. Not a single word. “Are you o.k.? Are you still in pain?”

A barely noticeable shaking of his head, followed by a stronger nodding. The desperation of the loving mother was interrupted by a gentle knocking on the door. Sarah quickly went to the door.

“Greetings Miriam, please come inside.” Sarah’s soul always smiled, whenever she saw the new female inhabitant of the village.

“I just saw how your husband took the path down to the meadow. And since he has been walking around among the hills for many hours the past few days, I thought I would quickly come around and say hi to you and to Joshua.” Miriam hugged Sarah closely to her heart.

“How is Joshua doing?”

“He simply is not speaking. The ear pain seems to have passed. Now only the wounds on his bottom are still worrying me. Miriam, why does Samuel beat our son?” As soon as Sarah had asked the question, she was surprised at her own natural openness when dealing with Miriam. She trusted her.

“Samuel loves your son, but he expects too much from him.” They both went into the room next door, in which Joshua was lying motionless on his stomach and staring at the ceiling. He seemed to have crept into another world.

“Joshua, I greet you. How are you?” Miriam bent over his body a little. No answer, just a little shake of the head. Sarah was obviously deeply moved by the reaction, and tried to change the subject.

“Miriam, please tell me everything that you did not tell on the evening of the celebration. The birth in Bethlehem seems to have been something very special. Who is your son?”

“Sarah, I know that he is a prophet. Yeshua was chosen. He has a difficult path ahead of him. He is prepared for his future, since he is ahead of it.” Miriam paused for a moment to reflect upon the truth of her words again. “Yeshua is not like other children. He is more serious. And simultaneously he is also like a normal child, for he does a lot of nonsense and silly things at home. And this combination enables him to fulfil his task. But sometimes his physical condition worries me. He often appears to be much weakened.” Miriam winked at Sarah and nodded in the direction of Joshua. Both noticed that Joshua was hearing every word and hardly breathed due to suspense.

“Miriam, I am now going to tell you something that I have never told anyone else before.” Sarah took a deep breath of air and slowly exhaled. “And it happened around the time of the birth of your son. Samuel was in Jerusalem with other men and their sons while you, as I have know heard, were barely an hour away in Bethlehem. Miriam, I had a dream. Or rather a vision, for shortly before waking up I saw an angel that told me that the Messiah was going to be born that night. I could hardly believe it, however I wanted to, for our land urgently needs a saviour.” Sarah looked deeply into Miriam’s eyes. Miriam had doe brown eyes that gave her a love and a sense of comfort that she had never before received in her life. Not even from her mother. “Miriam, is Yeshua the Messiah?”

“Yes“, Miriam whispered and underlined it with a nod. “When we had travelled to Egypt after the birth we lived with Bakenor, a wise man residing in Alexandria. Bakenor was also present at the birth. He said that a messenger of light had told him to take us with him to Egypt for a while. There Yeshua would be taught and gain some strength. He said that he would only speak with Yeshua in Greek, since he had to learn that language. Greek is the language of trade and of the future, he said. Yeshua was also instructed in the wisdom teachings at a very early age. After all he required this knowledge for his life. He would not have been able to receive these teachings if we had returned to Nazareth directly after the birth.” Miriam raised her shoulders. “There is no one here who could teach Jesus the real things.”

“I can imagine that.”

“Not even Samuel.”

“Miriam, I know Samuel is very strict and stuck in his ways. He closes his heart off from other people through his strictness. Even a goat reaches their hearts better than my man.” She smiled. “Who doesn’t smile when looking at a bleating goat?”

“Oh how right you are. God bless your sense of humour.” Miriam placed both of her hands on her heart.

“He will not be able to learn much from Samuel here,“ Sarah added, “at best he will realize how stuck in their ways and strict rabbis tend to be. You too are aware of how my husband is by now. He certainly has knowledge, but unfortunately that is not the most important thing in life.” She winked at Miriam.

“It’s a good thing that Yeshua’s heart is stronger than his spirit.” Miriam gazed in the direction of Joshua, who still seemed to be eavesdropping. “As saviour Yeshua will hardly be able to learn much from most of the grown-ups here in the village. But from the children who play with him in order to distract him from the premonitions of his future life which sometimes catch up with him. Sometimes he feels so heavy, as if he had to fight with thousands of demons in his mind. “

Miriam had not completed the last word when there was a quiet knocking on the door.

“That ought to be Yeshua. He wanted to catch up with me here. As far as I know he has a little surprise for Joshua with him.” At this instant Joshua turned his head to both of the women, his eyes began to shine and he sat up straight in bed in no time at all.

This was the first time that had happened in two weeks. Sarah went to the door full of wonder. A moment later she returned with Yeshua, who was full of joy. He seemed to be hiding something behind his back.

“Greetings, Joshua. I have brought you something.” He took the right hand from behind his back and handed Joshua a roughly hand-sized piece of wood. It looked like a cross and at the same time also like a figure. The upper part featured a face emerging from the grain of the wood. The lower part of the cross became wider, so that it might just as well have been a gown. It was not carved evenly, but was sanded very smooth, so that it was easy on the hands.

“This cross will take away your pain and brighten your soul. It is a symbol of our father in heaven. It is still too early to understand this, but I know that the time will come eventually when you will recognize the whole meaning of this.” Yeshua put his hand on his shoulder.

“Yeshua. I thank you so much. However I see a figure in this cross. You are that figure. And this figure will give me strength and always remind me of you. I thank you.” A tear rolled down Joshua’s face while Sarah and Miriam looked at each other full of joy and wonder.

“I will come by again tomorrow.” Jesus smiled at Joshua. “I want to tell you and your mother that I prefer to be called Iesous, or Jesus. It is the Greek version of my name, but since that is how I was called in Alexandria it is also my preference here. I have gotten used to that name now.” He brightened the dark room with his smile. “By the way, Samuel will be back soon, for I saw him at the well hurrying up here quickly. I think we should go.”

The words of Jesus had a convincing power that did not allow for any contradiction. Then Jesus took his hands from Joshua’s shoulder. Miriam and Yeshua said goodbye and left behind a marveling Sarah and a moved Joshua.

The evening meal went by without a word except for the prayers spoken by Samuel. For the first time Joshua could take part in the family gathering again, for his pain had miraculously vanished. Jesus’ hands were very warm and afterwards Joshua had the feeling as if his behind was well again. Then his mother took a look at it and indeed the wounds had vanished.

Samuel did not look at his wife or his children. He only ate a little bread with olive paste, stood up after a short while and informed Sarah that he still had to take a walk outside for a bit. Then the disharmony vanished from the room and love entered again. Sarah cleared off the table with Esther and cleaned the bowls. Judith put her head in the lap of her brother and smiled at him. Joshua’s soul had become brighter again, just as Jesus had said. He was feeling better. And Judith, who had not wanted to leave his side in the last weeks but had had to let him sleep in peace, also noticed this.

“I love you, Judith.” Joshua petted her head and was angry at the same time.

Sarah joined the two of them and put her hands on their heads. “Judith, help your sister with the bowls.”

Judith jumped up, gave her brother a kiss on the scarred cheek and teased her sister as so often instead of helping her.

“Joshua, don’t be sad or angry toward your father. He does not know what he does.” She kissed him on the forehead. “I know that you have pain in your soul and can not understand that you have a father like that. He does not intend to be that way, he loves you, even if he is not able to show it.”

“So love is pain?”

“No, that’s not the right way to put it.”

“I don’t understand that.”

“Your father just has a rather unusual way of expressing his love. He only wants the best for you.”

“He praises the other boys in school and beats me. This is supposed to be in my best interest?”

“Sometimes love has to be strict.”

“Mother, I don’t understand that.” Joshua wanted to be angry, but was too tired for that. He simply felt exhausted. “Our writings say that children should honor their parents. But how am I supposed to honor him like this?”

“Joshua, go to bed now. You do know that I love you?” She kissed him on the forehead again.

“Yes, I love you too mother, but I still do not understand it. “

“Don’t let it get you down my son“, she whispered to him before he disappeared into his bedroom.

Today Joshua only wanted to be alone. He lied down and took the wooden figure into his hand. It was olive wood. He loved the smell of the olive and of the oil that was prepared from it. Was the cross a piece of the olive tree up on the hill?

Then he recalled the talk between his mother and Miriam. What had Miriam said today? He had heard that Yeshua was the Messiah. His soul believed it although it was an unheard of presumption. He wanted to keep his thoughts to himself from now on. Yeshua was to be the only exception, for he trusted him without reservation although he did not know him at all. He looked forward to tomorrow, when his new friend would visit him again. No matter whether Messiah or not, Jesus was a nice person. Joshua fell asleep with these thoughts, and dreamed of a quickly moving star over Mt. Tabor.

∞

“Mother, why does Joshua have such a difficult father?” Jesus had become very sad once they had returned home. The atmosphere in the home of the rabbi had clearly deeply moved him.

“I saw how dark his soul was. And I am afraid that the soul of his father is even darker.”

“Jesus, everyone has chosen something very special for their life.” Miriam was preparing the evening meal, but loved it when her son spent time with her then and asked questions as he did now.

In these moments it seemed to Jesus, that the answers were simply given to her thoughts, without her knowing where they came from. Her expression revealed to him that she was sometimes surprised about what she said herself.

“No person before and no person afterwards will be able to live this life the way one has chosen to. The life of Joshua may be somewhat harder than that of other children, but you know that God our Lord puts thought into everything that happens. And at some point in time Joshua will have grown through the suffering that he momentarily has to endure through his father and then he will realize that the suffering was the best thing that could have happened to him for the development of his soul.”

Jesus had a wise mother. He could seldom observe this among women. Women could love deeper than men, but love paired with wisdom fascinated him and he was grateful that he had Miriam. After all his father was not always an easy case to deal with. Although Joseph was not as brutal as Samuel, as one could observe at the welcoming celebration, he often was too naive and simply started talking without considering whether it was appropriate. Jesus still had a hard time accepting that Joseph was the way he was. His idea of a father was someone whom he could lean up against, who gave him wise advice, that he was loved, and sometimes also disciplined, but such a father who told the whole village that his son was the Messiah, that was truly very short-sighted. Ah well, now it had happened.

His older brothers Judah und Jossi, who had lived with Samuels sister up until now, now always joined the rest of the family at the shared meals. They were already fifteen and sixteen. However there often was not much time to get to know them for this evening, as he frequently did, Joseph went to the workshop with them to complete some jobs.

Since their return to Nazareth they had more work. The jobs all come from Sepphoris, for there was an enormous amount of construction activity going on there and every construction worker was urgently needed. Thus Joseph, Jossi and Judah where in Sepphoris several days each week, as the Romans were building more and more temples for their idols. Shortly before their arrival in Nazareth a theater had even been created in the capital of Galilee. The stone works were done in Sepphoris, but Joseph could prepare the woodworks at home where he had all of equipment. There were no jobs to be done in Nazareth. Almost all of the inhabitants still took care to avoid the construction worker family. After all the end of the celebration had left many a trace of horror and many were still shocked, for even those less strictly religious had never experienced such a presumption.

When Jesus disappeared into his bedroom in the evening he was very sad again and felt drained. Jesus had much to think about. Sometimes he was not able to do anything else, for he also picked up on many thoughts that wanted to enter his soul from outside. He also at times saw dark evil creatures that mocked him, spat at him and gave him evil grins. Why oh why did he see those entities? He had often asked his mother why he saw such demons but she could not give him any answer except that it belonged to part of his life experience.

This evening the attacks of those demons were very strong again. The day had robbed him of a lot of energy, and especially the short visit at Joshua’s had been very draining. There he had sensed that his father in heaven transferred powers onto Joshua through Jesus’ pure presence that were so strong that his friend would certainly be free of his pains by this evening. He felt an overwhelming energy flow through his hands when he placed them on Joshua’s shoulders. But he had been so weakened by this that he only was able to ward off the pursuant attacks through prayers. He needed quite some time before his prayers showed any effect. This showed in the light around him becoming brighter and brighter until the demons could no longer remain in that brightness and eventually had to leave him alone. Then he wrote down his thoughts from the day and blew out the oil lamp. Not a minute later Jesus had fallen asleep and dreamt of a star that quickly moved across the horizon above Mt. Tabor.

What a day yesterday! If these battles with the demons continue like this, I don’t know if I will make it to my next birthday. These grotesque faces that I always see seem to be very evil. Fortunately I have learned from Bakenor how to deal with that. Prayers always help, even if I become very tired and exhausted that way. I am even still very tired this morning. I would most like to simply stay in bed. Father, why does this all exhaust me so much? At times I feel as old as Joseph. Do these battles cost me so much strength? Will these battles always continue? Are they important for my future life? Why do I not observe this dark energy as much with other people as with me?

It was nice at Joshua’s yesterday. He was really happy about the cross. Hopefully he is doing better now. Father, have a watchful eye over him. He needs your love. So be it.