Читать книгу He Who Returned - Martin Fieber - Страница 17

Late in the afternoon, shortly before the Sabbath began, Samuel finally arrived in Nazareth again. He and his donkey were spotted from afar by the children, who quickly spread the news throughout the village. The women, who were just gathered at the well and talking amongst themselves, also saw him coming from afar.

“Your husband is approaching, Sarah“, she was informed by Elischeba, the wife of the potter Jacob.

“Samuel is already back?” Sarah turned around in disbelief. Now she too saw her man appear on the top of a small hill close to Nain and ride down the curvy path in a trot. It would still take him a little while to reach the well. Sadness mingled with the joy which she had been allowed to experience the last few weeks. After all life without Samuel had been much easier and more peaceful.

Aside from Elischeba and Sarah, Miriam and Abischag, the wife of the shepard Jeroham, were also at the well. The women all very muched enjoyed these moments they regularly shared close to the water. “Sarah, don’t let him get away with so much anymore“, Elischeba encouraged her. Besides Miriam, Sarah had now also gained Elischeba and Abischag as true friends who gave her much strength.

“That is easy for you to say, Elischeba. I try as hard as I can, but sometimes I am left with no way out due to Samuel’s aggressive temper.”

“I think Elischeba is right.” Abischag chimed in. “Once you are in the new big city, you should come up with something. I have heard that it is easier for women to lead their own life in such cities.” But deep down Abischag was happy to have such a nice husband, Jeroham, herself, and that she did not have to move to a heathen town. Also, she was secretly looking forward to the day when Samuel would leave Nazareth, for it was not easy to have to even live in the same town with such a strict and stubborn rabbi. Although it was too bad about Sarah leaving. However the joy over being rid of Samuel was the stronger feeling in her.

“I will try my best“, Sarah replied. “I have been praying to our father in heaven for a long time, asking that he show me a solution. Also for our children and especially for Joshua.”

“You can't always expect your father in heaven to help you“, Abischag replied haughtily. “No one has ever seen him. As far as I can tell we are responsible for our own good fortune. If my husband were so violent, I would have thrown him out of the house long ago, and only let him back in if he begged me to.”

“Abischag, how can you say such things?” Miriam was quite angry about the words she had just heard there. “How can you doubt in the existence of our heavenly father? And it is easy for you to talk since you are not in the same position as Sarah. I would like to see how you would last even one day next to Samuel. You would be quite different than now if he was your husband, believe me.”

“Trust me, I would have never chosen a man like Samuel. You can all mark my words.”

“What words can I mark, Abischag?”, Samuel asked, who had just now reached the four women.

All four of them turned around in surprise. For a moment they had forgotten that Samuel had been on his way to the village. Abischag was dumbfounded at first, then merely said “I, uh, I only meant that if I was living in Sepphoris, uh, I wouldn't have chosen a shepard as husband, eh, but rather a builder instead perhaps, like Miriam.”

“I see. And there I had thought that you had mentioned my name just now. Well I guess I misheard then. Let me greet all of you first. And Sarah, please accompany me home. May God bless you, Abischag, Elischeba and Miriam“.

Sarah turned around, picked up her full water bucket, left the three bewildered women behind and followed her husband. No one had ever experienced such a happy Samuel.

The family of the rabbi was seated at the evening meal. Joshua was glad that all of the rituals, which were enacted before and during the meal, had been completed. Joshua was hungry. Sometimes he envied other families, that were not as religious as his own. But such was life as the son of a rabbi. especially of such a strict one. But this evening his father seemed to be down jolly. The meal was over, but the family remained seated for a while, for Samuel wanted to tell them something about his time in Jerusalem and about the imminent journey to Ephesus. And so Sarah served up some almond cake, dates in honey and warm goat milk. Especially Joshua’s sisters loved these sweet treats.

“I have experienced a lot and have at much to tell you“, Samuel began. “Let me begin with the worst part. The messenger of the high priest and I were attacked by robbers near Mt. Garizim. My companion was prepared for this eventuality, for as he said, one had to expect the worst when undertaking such a trip. Hence he had split our coins and only carried the smaller portion visible on our belts. And luckily the robbers only took that portion from us.” Samuel sighed deeply and gazed into the eyes of his family for some sympathetic reaction, which however did appear, except for Judith's wide-eyed stare.

“The ragged clothing of my companion did not serve to convince the robbers when he told him that he had been sent directly by the high priest in Jerusalem. They scoffed at us yet nonetheless let us continue with our donkey and provisions. So his words must have had some effect. I had the feeling as if our heavenly father was standing right by our side and protecting us very well. I returned via a longer and more difficult, yet safer road.”

Joshua listened to the narrative of his father without any feeling except quite a bit of suspense. Even his sisters had forgotten that they had almond cake on their plates. Only his mother seemed fairly relaxed.

“The talk with the high priest and Bealja went very well. They had informed me that a messenger had been sent to Ephesus at the same time, who was to suspend the current rabbi of my future congregation from his position there immediately. The messenger is to stay there until the former rabbi has vacated our future home and left town. I was told that the synagogue there and adjacent house are very large. The Jewish congregations include nearly 10,000 members, not much for a city as large as Ephesus, however when one considers that it is a town that has been shaped predominantly by Greek and Roman culture, then 10,000 Jews is a proud number indeed. Isn't that incredible?” A second attempt to gain some recognition from his family. And again, it did not work.

Joshua drank a sip of goat milk.

“The high priest added that not all Jews lived the true faith anymore there. Only very few still attend the services in the synagogue regularly. My predecessor had become a victim of vice in that city of magic. Hence they required an experienced rabbi there, who obeyed the Jewish laws.” Samuel smiled and gazed at his family, but no one returned the sentiment. “Bealja had heard of my good work and mentioned me early on in the selection process. The high priest was quite happy about this since it meant one less worrisome problem for him to be concerned about . Well, we can now leave as soon as we wish, once I have spoken with Abija, my successor here. I am happy that Abija will be my successor. I wanted to speak with him a while ago about who should succeed me, and was surprised when he mentioned that would like to suggest himself as my successor. I also still have to tell Jeroham and Jacob about the events of the last few days. All of this will probably take about another week. My suggestion is that we depart after the next Sabbath, in about eight days time.”

Sarah forgot to breathe. “In eight days already?”

“Woman, it is your job to pack all of our belongings and to clean our house for when we hand it over to Abija. Joshua and Esther, you are to both help Sarah. I will have to depart for Sepphoris the day after tomorrow. Abija has been informed already and is preparing to move as well. I will not be giving any more lessons in the synagogue here. Some will be happy to hear that. But I know Abija well, and he will continue my work there in a way I would approve of.” Samuel paused for a moment and gave Joshua a sharp look. “Ah yes, Joshua, I have taken a look at the work you completed while I was gone. I must say I like what I see. I am proud of you. All right, let's all get to bed now.”

Joshua was not sure whether he had just really heard correctly. Had his father really praised him just now? It had been a long time since that had happened last. He glanced over at his mother. Sarah was also visibly surprised and gave him a sweet smile that warmed his heart. He went to his bedroom, took out the small wooden cross, placed it on his heart, thanked God for the praise and for knowing Jesus, and fell asleep happily.

∞

Word spread quickly in the village that the family of the rabbi would be leaving them soon forever. Many in the village were delighted at this news, for the strictness of Samuel not only had an effect on his students, but rather also affected their parents and most of the inhabitants in some way quite harshly. There were only few who were sad about this bit of news. Among them were Jesus and Rachel. The time the boys would have normally spent in the synagogue was now spent however they saw fit. As usual, Simeon played his game of Romans against zealots. Joshua, Jesus and Rachel spent almost all of their free time together.

Samuel had departed early in the morning to Sepphoris today. Joshua seized the moment and went down to where he usually met up with his friends near the village well. Already from afar he spied Jesus sitting underneath a mulberry tree there. He wanted to call out to him, but an invisible power kept him form doing so, and thus he approached Jesus very quietly. Only when he had nearly reached Jesus did he notice that he was deeply in another realm. Jesus had closed his eyes and it seemed as if he was speaking with invisible beings. Now and then he would shake his head or nod. Occasionally he whispered something so quietly that Joshua wasn't able to make it out. Suddenly Jesus bent forward, with eyes still closed, grabbed a branch lying nearby and began to draw lines on the earth with it. This went on for a few moments, then he nodded briefly, said “thank you, father“ and bade the other world farewell.

Jesus still had his eyes shut. “Nice of you to come already, Joshua. I just received some messages from our father in heaven that are going to be important for you.” Only now did Jesus open his eyes, and smile at Joshua, who stood there bewildered. He asked him to sit down next to him. Then he read the message that he had just received and written in the sand. After that he brushed it away.

“Joshua, we won't be together much longer here now.” Jesus was gazing at the ground. “I awoke early this morning, for I had dreamt that I was supposed to ho to our meeting place at the well earlier than usual. I had no idea why. After a while I realized that our father wanted to transmit a message to me for you. First he did this via thoughts, then at the end, as you witnessed, via automatic writing. That means that a spirit sent by God controlled my arm and spelled out a message without any influence by me. This was done to train me for the mission I am here to accomplish. While I still dwelt with my teacher in Alexandria, I had to practice this already a few times, however, I was still a little too young at that point. Today I received a message addressed to someone else for the first time. And you, my friend, are the one the message is for.” Jesus paused and let his words sink in for a moment, as Joshua looked rather confused at all of this.

“Umm, you wrote a message in the sand for me?” was the only question Joshua managed to string together.

“Yes, should I tell you what it was?”

“What are you waiting for?” Joshua was suddenly very excited.

“Very well. One thing before I start. Such messages are only transmitted when it is very important for a person to receive them. And since you will be leaving in a few days, and won't be able to see your friends again then, it will probably not be easy for you at first. Even if you do not understand a few words now, you will always carry them with you like a treasure.” Jesus closed his eyes again, n order to concentrate better.

Joshua was fiddling around with a stick out of sheer anticipation and excitement.

“Joshua, proceed on your way, as you feel it is right in your innermost heart. You have a strict father who has trained you well, yet neglects your wishes. You have a mother at your side who leads a difficult life and who does all in her power for her children and especially for you, since she is aware of how much you have to endure. Joshua, live your life. Tell your father exactly what it is you want, even if this is not allowed according to the beliefs of your forefathers. Not everything that is written in the torah and the other scriptures is correct. Conquer the fear you feel toward your father and toward other people. Approach people with an open and smiling heart in Ephesus. You will experience many things that will further your personal development. You will experience a lot of joy, but you will also have to endure pain that will test the limits of your soul’s endurance. You will get to know a large city that will offer many possibilities to you. Be careful, be cautious, be aware of your own thoughts, be aware of your deeds and always trust your innermost feelings. Whoever is true to their innermost feelings, is true to himself. You will walk a path of many insights. Yes, you will meet Jesus again some day. By now you know that he is the Messiah, even if your mind still is resisting this idea. Your soul knows it full well, and that is what counts. Your message is to announce him, yet only in close personal talks. It will hardly be easy for you, but I, your father in heaven, need you to do this for me. I am placing all of my trust in you. Everything will be guided as it is meant to happen. Proceed along your path. And love the people you meet. That is the key to me. Love the people, love them…“ Jesus paused and opened his eyes. He saw that Joshua had his eyes closed and could tell that he was reflecting on what he had just heard.

Now it was Joshua's turn to be in another world. It seemed to him as if his entire life was projected on his inner eye. Although he did not see any images, he felt as if he was experiencing all of his future feelings in a single moment. Then he opened his eyes and gazed upon the blue eyes he would never ever forget. They were so full of love and compassion that all the tension that had been building up within Joshua within the last few months was released all at once. He cried and cried without even noticing that Jesus laid his arm around him. Tears and more tears poured down his cheeks. A fee moments passed like this. But just as quickly as this outbreak of tears had come on, it also went away again and Joshua felt a lightness within himself growing. He saw the world as if with new eyes and felt more free than before. He had barely regained full consciousness when they both heard joyful shouting behind them.

“Good morning you two. Looks like I am the late one today.” It was Rachel's lovely voice they heard. “Sorry I am late. My mother would not let me leave the house till I had washed the cups and bowls.”

Jesus und Joshua smiled at each other. Joshua heard a voice from somewhere, which repeated part of the message which he had just heard. “Everything will be guided as it is meant to happen.”

The three of them spent the next couple of hours the same way they usually did. Jesus played on his flute, Rachel and Joshua listened to his melodies. Now and then they told each other jokes or talked about their visit to the theater in Sepphoris, which Jesus had by now dealt with sufficiently so that he could speak about it more easily.

“Joshua, Rachel, I want to let you two know about this first, before anyone else gets to know.”

“What, oh what do you want us to know?” As usual Rachel got excited very quickly as soon as Jesus had announced he was going to tell them something new.

“I want to celebrate a farewell party for Joshua. All of the children will be invited, so that Joshua will be able to leave Nazareth with many happy memories. What do think of my idea?”

“Awesome, simply super!” Rachel was very happy about this great idea. “And what do you think, Joshua?”

“I think it's great, however I can only hope that saying goodbye will not be too tough for me. I don't even want to think about really having to leave.”

Jesus took his flute and played a melody full of longing. This melody was his prayer of thanks to his heavenly father. This day was holy and he was grateful for it.

∞

All of them had come. The square in the courtyard of Samuel was filled with children and their joy and with the women who were busy with the final preparations for the feast. At first the plan had been to put on the celebration in front of the workshop of Joseph, the builder. But then the council of elders had decided to have the celebration take place at Samuel's home again. Samuel had been much more relaxed and sociable than usual lately, which made the decision considerably easier than it would have been otherwise. The entire village was present and great merriment prevailed, although a hint of sadness could also be felt, of course. “Friends, dear children.” Samuel's voice was so loud that it could be heard despite the general commotion.

“Here I stand and it is not easy for me to say the following words to you. We were supposed to leave three days ago already, but life wanted us to stay here a bit longer, apparently. Before I want to share my last speech here with you, let me introduce my successor to you first. It is Abija from Sepphoris. Please give him a hearty welcome and lend him your trust.” Abija stood up next to Samuel, so that the village could see him. Applause erupted. “A greeting“, many people shouted.

Abija seemed to be shy, but he could not get out of having to say at least a few words. He looked all around and waited until the people had calmed down.

“My name is Abija. I thank you in the name of the almighty God. Thank you for greeting me so warmly today. I will do all I can to continue the excellent work of my predecessor Samuel. Although I am admittedly a few years younger than he is, I also have a few less grey hairs then he.” The people laughed. he had made a good first impression. He was not sure whether the people took to him more out of personal sympathy or out of sheer relief that his predecessor was leaving. “I wish all of you a pleasant celebration and ask you to give Samuel and his family your blessing for their journey. I thank you for letting me become a member of your village.” Again applause erupted, and now it hardly seemed that it would stop.

Samuel was relieved. He could tell that his successor was going to be well accepted.

“Thank you for lending Abija your trust.” Now it was Samuel's turn again. “Now I wish to thank each and every one of you for having given me your trust all of the years that I was your rabbi. It probably was not always easy with me.” Samuel cleared his throat, and many listeners nodded. “But we always did well for ourselves here in the village. That is why we should thank the almighty and praise him. May God bless you and protect you. I will often think about this time when I am far away from here. Dear children, now your celebration may begin.” Samuel had ended his speech among much empathic sobbing and consolation by the audience.

The children did not wait for someone to tell them a second time and launched their attack on the table full of goodies. Everything they could desire was there. Warm sesame bread, cheese in garlic-steeped olive oil, fishes fried in coriander, grilled lamb with mint, wine-leaves stuffed with goat cheese, honey balls in butter, spinach soup, leek salad, carrots with caraway, almond sauce, semolina cake with cinnamon, nut cakes with juicy dates and figs with cream. Miriam prepared the most delicious cream in town, and had brought an extra-large bowl full to the feast. There also was goat milk, yoghurt, grape juice and tamarind juice. The grown-ups had various wines to choose from. One of the new inhabitants of Nazareth even brought a kind of syrupy Chios along, which had to be watered down. Everything necessary for a happy celebration was at hand. Today even the men and women sat mixed. Somehow everything was different today. As if a spirit of renewal was wafting through Nazareth.

Merriment abounded at the children’s tables as well. Jesus sat at the head of one of the tables. Next to him were Joshua and Rachel, Ismael and little Joseph. Seated at the far end were Simeon and Amos, who were stuffing themselves with cake. It felt as if a huge cloud of joy and love had enveloped the village.

“What would you do if you were an olive tree?”, Jesus suddenly asked the group of children with a smile.

“What’s the point of a stupid question like that?”, was Simeon’s immediate reaction.

“I mean it just the way I put it. Imagine that you were an olive tree. What would you do, Simeon?”

“Hmm. I would use the power of my thoughts to get a child to bring me a large nut cake with lots of cream every day.”

“That is great.” Amos almost fell over laughing.

“What would you do, Joshua?”

“I would want to grow to be as strong and durable as the tree that stands on the hill above our village. I would also want to stand on a hilltop, for from there I would have a wide and beautiful view of the land around me.”

“And what would you do, Jesus?” Rachel wanted to hear Jesus speak again.

“I would bear many juicy fruits, so that people could eat their fill of them and be able to make olive oil with which to light their lamps when it was dark.”

Now the table of the children was quiet. Rachel, Joshua and little Joseph had a notion of what Jesus was referring to. It filled their hearts to the brim, so that they were not able to say anything. The other end of the table was also quiet, yet merely because they had not grasped the depth of what Jesus said and did not know how to reply. “What would you ask God, if you were able to see him now?” Jesus continued with another question.

“These questions are getting better and better “, Simeon interjected. “I would ask him, whether I could be the donkey, on which our saviour will come riding into our village, if he ever comes at all.” Simeon laughed like a madman and Amos joined in as usual.

“Very intelligent, Simeon. What would you ask God, Ismael?”

“I would ask God, why there is so much violence and why the Romans are occupying our country.”

“And you, Jesus?”, Simeon asked, desiring to make fun of Jesus again. “Please announce to us in words of praise, what you would ask, being the hidden Messiah and all?”

“Do you really want to know, Simeon?”

“Would I have asked it otherwise?”

“Very well, I will tell you. I would ask him, how one goes about loving the very people who mock and insult one.”

Joshua was speechless. How was Jesus able to come up with such words? Whence did he draw his power to convince? Where did he get these ideas? Where did he get these spontaneous flashes of insight? Joshua would not have been able to think of anything in such a situation, he would merely have blushed probably.

“Jesus, why are you asking us these questions? They seem so .. different to me.” Joshua wanted to hear more about this from Jesus.

“Joshua, we all live with the very strict rules and regulations of our forefathers.. I simply wanted to show all of you that life and such rules can be seen from a different perspective. Keep this fact in mind and don’t forget about it when you are in Ephesus, you hear me?” Jesus was obviously very serious about this.

“What would you do, Jesus, if you were the Messiah?” Simeon made one last attempt at mocking Jesus.

“That is the best question that you have asked yet today. I will answer it in a moment.”

Jesus stood up and disappeared in the crowd of the grownups. He soon reappeared with a plate full of nut cakes and cream and set them on the table in front of Simeon.

“Simeon, I would try to love you unconditionally. God bless you. Enjoy.” Simeon sat speechless in front of a plate full of cake. Now the others started smiling, at first in silence, then slowly and quietly, laughter erupted, until the whole village joined in. Simeon very slowly and surreptitiously began to eat the cake, until the incident, which he found to be kind of spooky, had passed.

Joshua and the other children had fun the whole evening. There was lots of laughter, song and general merriment until late into the evening. Rachel and Jesus hugged Joshua close to themselves. They intended to say goodbye to Joshua very early the next morning, when the family of the rabbi was to depart toward Caesarea. But now they all first had to go to bed.

Sadly I know that I will not be able or allowed to say goodbye to my friend Joshua tomorrow. Very well, I will not say goodbye to him, even though it will be hard for me not to. But I don’t have to understand this, or? I don’t think I want to understand it, since Joshua was my best friend here in Nazareth. Sometimes I have great doubts about you and your thoughts. Sometimes I have the feeling that this doubt is killing me. And whenever I have these doubts, the ugly faces appear, as if you had called them. Even now I notice how they are spitting at me, how they are mocking me and seeking to take away my energy. Father, help me to not doubt your deeds and instructions. Father, I love you, even if I do not understand what you are doing.

And above all, bless Joshua and protect him in this life. Also protect his family, which seems to be headed toward very difficult times.

∞

Now the morning of the departure had arrived. Joshua had not been able to sleep all night due to his great sorrow. Samuel’s donkey was already laden, and Samuel had bought another donkey and a mule in Sepphoris. Many villagers stood around the family of the rabbi. There was a lot of hugging, crying, comforting and blessing. Sarah had said goodbye to Miriam, Esther to her girlfriends and Samuel to Jacob and Jeroham, who were his closest friends. Joshua wrapped his arms around Rachel and they promised each other to meet again at some point in the future. The only one who was missing was Jesus.

“Where is Jesus?”, Joshua asked, panic-stricken.

“Joshua, sadly Joseph departed for Sepphoris very early today with his sons.” Miriam was obviously uncomfortable about having to inform Joshua of this. “They have to complete a project there. Jesus did not know that he was supposed to join them. He wanted to say goodbye to you, but it was still very early when they left, and he did not want to waken your family. After all you will need all of your energy for the arduous journey.”

These words of Miriam were like a stab in his heart. He understood them in his head, but they tore his heart apart inside him.

“Jesus did not say goodbye to me. Jesus did not say goodbye to me. Jesus…“ he kept on mumbling to himself. From this day on he withdrew and did not speak a single word all the way to Ephesus.

Sarah still was not able to control her sorrow yet, although the family of five had been travelling for over an hour now on their way toward Megiddo. She was still shedding tears due to the pain she felt. This time it had nothing to do with Samuel humiliating her. No, this time it was about the farewell from Miriam. She knew that she would never see Nazareth again, but that did not matter. No, she would not miss Nazareth, but she surely would miss Miriam. Her friendship to Miriam had become very important to her. And she shed more tears for Joshua. He had finally found a true friend, and not just any kind of friend, but rather a wonderful soul, Jesus, and now fate had torn them apart already. Joshua sat in front of her on the donkey, but since their departure Joshua seemed a changed boy. She could only guess how he was feeling inside. She petted his head and could tell that this attention did him some good. Her daughters were doing fine. Esther and Judith both sat on the third donkey behind them and were very happy. They were looking forward to the big city. Samuel walked ahead and led his family and the animals safely to toward their destination. “Sarah, please stop crying.” Samuel seemed worried. He had never experienced his wife this way. “The departure isn’t easy for me either. But God the lord, may he be praised forever, often has prepared pathways for us that are not easy. Indeed, often they are stony and bare.”

“I know. Will we make it to Megiddo today?”

“Yes, that we will, certainly. We have already made good progress so far. However we will have to leave very early tomorrow morning, for the road from Megiddo to the harbour of Caesarea is a couple miles longer than our trip today. After all we don’t want to keep our host Jimra waiting till deep into the night. He had been told that we will be arriving tomorrow evening.”

“How long will we be staying in Caesarea?”, Esther asked her father.

“We will be boarding the vessel the day after the Sabbath in the morning. So we will be spending three days in this harbour town. So we will be able to get a little used to how life is in a city, before we finally arrive in Ephesus in about a weeks time.”

“How big is Caesarea?” Esther was visibly looking forward to city life.

“Around 35.000 people live in that city. Which makes it nearly twice the size of Sepphoris. And Ephesus is about ten times the size of Sepphoris.”

Samuel had chosen the route via the Via Maris for himself and his family. However he cursed the fates for sending them to Caesarea instead of to Ptolemais. For there was a harbour there that was much closer and that would have been much easier to reach. However since no ships from Ptolemais to Ephesus were available, they had been forced to take the longer road to Caesarea. And thus the Via Maris, which was a very important trade route which nearly passed through and led via Megiddo and Caesarea all the way to Egypt, was a logical choice. Samuel used to always curse the trade route, since through it’s proximity a lot or riff-raff with no business in Nazareth tended to stray there. But today for the first time ever was actually pretty happy about the good condition of this trade road. After all, the Romans had built inns about every ten miles on this route, which had originally been used by exclusively by the Roman legions, yet now primarily served non-military travellers.