Читать книгу William Walker’s First Year of Marriage: A Horror Story - Matt Rudd - Страница 9

One Boris Becker. Andy and a waitress—in a cloakroom, though, not a cupboard. He loves her. She loves him. He’s moving to Sydney when her work visa runs out next Thursday. Already started Googling for flats on Manly Beach this morning. It won’t happen.

One hospital admission. Not the vicar. He made a miraculous recovery. It was Johnson, emboldened by ‘It’s Raining Men’, who needed medical attention after he stage-dived into an adoring crowd. There was no adoring crowd. There wasn’t even a crowd. Witnesses say he scored a perfect belly flop, and in so doing broke his nose and his fifth metatarsal, and severely bruised his right testicle. Why not his left? Because it doesn’t hang as low as the right one. I wished I hadn’t asked.

One run-in with the law. My father showing love-sick Andy how to down a bottle of red wine, on the way back to the hotel at 2 a.m. ‘Evening, gentlemen, everything all right?’ ‘Yes, officer.’ ‘On our way home are we, gentlemen?’ ‘Yes, officer.’ ‘A long way, is it?’ ‘Just over there, officer.’ ‘Best be on our way then, hadn’t we, gentlemen?’ ‘Yes, officer.’ ‘Will you be taking the bollard with you?’ ‘No, sir.’

One storming out. Surprise, surprise, Watzerface who is the girlfriend of Alex who is the best friend of my wife who clearly isn’t always a good judge of character.