Читать книгу Give Birth Like a Feminist - Милли Хилл - Страница 13

Language Used	Why it’s wrong	Alternatives
Delivered	Pizzas are delivered, babies are born. And if they are delivered, it’s the woman who delivers them, nobody else!	Gave birth Caught e.g. ‘Dad caught the baby’
Am I allowed? They did not let me	Women have the moral and legal right to make decisions about their birth. They cannot be compelled to make certain choices, nor should they have options denied to them. If anyone does any ‘allowing’, it’s the woman.	I am allowed
Failure to progress	Nobody ‘fails’ at birth	Slow labour
Only three centimetres	Using negative language to describe the progress of labour can make some women feel discouraged, at a time when they need to be positive.	Three centimetres already, that’s great!
My induction in room 3	Reducing women to the intervention they are experiencing or the type of birth, etc. dehumanises them. Saying ‘my’ implies possession.	Say her name
Trial of scar	Used to describe a VBAC. Will there be a judge in a wig?	VBAC or just ‘birth’
Good girl	It’s infantilising. Is this Saint Trinians?	Fantastic, that’s really helpful, thanks
I consented her	Consent is actively given by the woman, not obtained while she remains passive.	She gave her consent
I just need to get your consent	Decisions should be made by the woman after full information is given and she should be made aware that she can decline or consent.	These are your choices … the benefits and risks are … would you like more information before you decide what you wish to do?
I’m just going to …	This assumes consent has been given	I would recommend that we do x,y,z. The alternatives are … etc.
She says Mum says	The woman is an individual with a name.	Use her name

Although Mobbs, Williams and Weeks challenged a range of phrases, the UK tabloid press, who, as you can imagine, didn’t like one bit the thought that infantilising and patronising women was off the menu, seized upon ‘good girl’ with a series of headlines in which the use of shouty capitals expressed their outrage. They even reported that midwives were now ‘BANNED’[20] from using the phrase – which is not true, of course – the BMJ article was merely an opinion piece. It’s interesting to ponder the roots of this outrage, and whether they wind their way down deep to what seems to be a cultural vested interest in the existing power imbalance; an underlying need for women in the birth room to continue to be, like the little children on the schoolroom mat, ‘quiet’, ‘still’ and ‘not challenging’. Does birth as we know it rely on our silence and complicity to function, just – as we have seen from #metoo – as the wider world often does?

Being called a ‘good girl’ makes women feel everything from uncomfortable to outraged,[21] and while it may seem like a trivial detail to some, it is representative of paternalistic attitudes that pervade maternity care and come from care-givers of both genders. It reflects a desire to assert power over the birthing woman, who, in order to meet the expectations of her attendants and therefore show herself to be a ‘good girl’, must remain childlike, behave herself and comply. Often, it is when the woman tries to break free of this dynamic and take the role of ‘permission giver’ rather than ‘permission seeker’, that we see a similar kind of outrage to that expressed in the tabloid ‘good girl’ headlines being played out in the birth room itself.

‘I went in with a suspected hind-water leak and the doctor examined me and told me they would give me steroids and antibiotics and admit me overnight,’ Maryellen Stephens told me. ‘I said no, that I would rather have an ultrasound, I was calm but assertive. She immediately began telling me that my baby would die and quoting a study, which I happened to have read myself. When I suggested that the study only involved ten women and wasn’t really good enough evidence to extrapolate to every single birthing woman, she was enraged, and – literally – stamped her foot and stormed out. She returned with the head obstetrician who was much more measured, agreeing to my plan of coming back in the morning for an ultrasound.’ Another mother, Hayley, told me her obstetrician said she was ‘washing her hands of her’, because she wanted to wait to be induced until the next morning. Similarly, Emily, from Southampton, told a tale I’ve heard multiple times: ‘I was told there were not enough midwives available for my home birth, but I refused to go to hospital, knowing that I had a right to have my baby where I wished. When they finally sent two midwives, they consistently tried to find reasons to transfer me and told me my baby might die if I didn’t. I stayed put and everything was fine but it really affected my experience negatively.’

Professional childbirth attendants, known as doulas, present as a supporter to the mother in the birth room and observing rather than taking any kind of active role, often report this phenomenon of women being admonished when they try to assert themselves. Interestingly, they also report how they themselves are silenced when they try to support women’s autonomy. ‘I have witnessed doctors becoming everything from irritated to enraged when a woman “talks back” about her options,’ one UK doula told me. ‘And if a doula expresses a view or backs up her client she will often be told, “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my patient,” or worse, threatened with being reported or removed from the birth room.’ Another confirmed: ‘On one occasion I was told, “Don’t talk for the patient” as the doctor put on their gloves and went ahead with a vaginal exam my client had not consented to. Another time I quoted the NICE guidelines and the doctor snapped, “Well clearly you know my job better than I do.”’ Doulas are often gently – and sometimes harshly – mocked in the same way that birth plans are. In some countries, such as Guatemala, doulas have even been banned from the birth room, just as a notice in a Dublin hospital waiting area apparently proclaims ‘You Do Not Need a Birth Plan!’ Could it be that doulas, just like birth plans, speak up for the mother and her rights in a way that threatens the status quo?