Читать книгу Sins & Secrets - NICHOLA HARVEY - Страница 4

ON RETURN TO the house, everyone had immediately retreated to their beds, passing out the moment their heads hit the pillow. And unbeknownst to any of them, I had taken advantage of their drunken state and quietly slipped out again only to reappear hours later, my body weary, but satisfactorily worn out.

Flopping heavily onto the soft mattress, I yawned and cuddled into one of the many, probably too many, soft pillows on my bed. My eyelids drooped heavily, and eventually, I gave in to the tiredness, only to have my sleep haunted by terrifying dreams.

A shadowy figure lurked in the dark, his rough whisper repeatedly calling out my name. My legs shifted restlessly beneath the blankets as I attempted to run away from him. It was pointless, lead-filled feet held me down. He closed in, roughly grabbing me from behind. I had to face him — fear engulfing me as I slowly twisted. Gleaming dark eyes menacingly stared back at me. His lips were moving as he whispered my name.

“Teddy…”

I let out an anguished scream and jolted upwards. My dream felt real. It was as if he was physically here, in my bedroom.

Sighing despairingly, my dampened hands pressed against an even sweatier face. Chilling nightmares that had once disappeared thanks to a decently lived life had now returned. I frowned, wondering if the eerie encounter was to blame.

That aside, I darted my blurry gaze towards the clock on the bedside table, oh just great. In exasperation, my hand reached over flicking off the alarm button, an hour before the scheduled time. I might as well be proactive. If only my legs would cooperate. Looking at the state of my twisted sheets, I made them.

Throwing back the covers, I slid out of bed and staggered into the walk-in-robe in search of a pair of gym pants and my hot pink joggers. A run always alleviated the worries.

Each pounding step sprinted over the footpath was perfectly timed with each exhaling breath as The Frays, Love Don’t Die blasted in my ears. They were my muse, and the overhead street lamps were my guide, taking me from the dark and into the light.

I ran until I hit Gardner Reserve, a family orientated park a few blocks from my house and paused at a timber bench to stretch my burning limbs. I had always loved this park. With its oversized elms littering the billowing garden beds along a weaving crushed granite pathway, their full leafed branches created a canopy, keeping play equipment and picnic tables cool enough for use throughout the warm summer months. Currently, the trees were still bare, giving way to the dappled light of the rising sun peeking through, indicative of the beautiful day we had ahead of us. I flicked my wrist and checked my Fitbit noting it was time to start heading back. Surprisingly though, I felt energised, even after a terrible night’s sleep and ran home barely exerting myself in the process. My puffing minimal as I walked through the house.

The heavenly smell of coffee and toast wafted under my nose, hitting my empty stomach with a thud. Loud sounds coming out of Scarlett’s mouth from the kitchen also hit me. Surely not. It was far too early for that amount of noise from one person.

“Morning all.” I waved, breathlessly striding past the island to the fridge. Reaching in to retrieve the bottle of pineapple juice, I closed the door and spun around. My quizzical gaze met gaping stares. “You may want to be careful leaving your mouths wide open like that or flies might think it’s their new home,” I said, turning back to grab a tall glass from the overhead cupboard, and setting it down on the countertop in front of them.

Spreading a thin layer of vegemite over her buttered toast, Scarlett frowned. “Who on earth goes running this early in the morning?”

I stared at her and shrugged unapologetically. “I do.”

“You’re either mad or stupid.”

“Well maybe if you did a bit of exercise, you’d feel even better about yourself. Oh, but hang on, you don’t need to, your heads fat enough already!” A piece of toast came skimming past my head and landed on the polished floorboards behind me at my feet.

Tutting, I placed my hands on my hips. “Oh, no, unless you follow the five-second rule, you can’t eat that now, Scars.”

My baby sister was also unimpressed by Dominique and Poppy’s laughter and stomped her little foot loudly. “You can all go fuck yourselves!”

“Oh, come on, Scars, take a joke. Teddy was only stirring you because she knows how much you loathe exercise,” Dominique shouted, only for Scarlett to flip her off as she marched past her on the way to the stairs. “That’s so childish,” she murmured, carrying on with her breakfast.

Due to Scarlett’s temper tantrum, I ended up missing my usual breakfast, and it meant I had to stop by the café below Bricks and Mortar. Taking my vanilla latte and fruit salad upstairs into the confines of my cubicle, I sat behind my desk, enjoying them both while quietly reviewing a set of plans. I should think about coming to work early every day. It’s so peaceful.

“Good Morning, Teddy.”

“Oh, Jesus, Spencer!” I jumped out of the chair, throwing the remnants of my fruit salad over my desk. “You scared the hell out of me!” I screeched as I frantically mopped up the juice with reams of tissues.

“I’m sorry, Teddy, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He clung to the edge of the glass and awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck. “And here I thought I came in being quite noisy too.”

“Well, you weren’t!” I had just yelled at my boss. Cringing, I swiftly apologised, my voice a dull whisper, “I’m sorry.”

Naturally poised, and ready to yell back at me, I expected quite the dressing down. However, to my surprise, Spencer’s mouth snapped shut, forming a thin disapproving line. Chocolate brown eyes glared right before he stalked into his office, the door slamming behind him. I flinched.

What in the hell was wrong with me, and what did I just do? I sank back into my chair and flopped forward, banging my forehead on the desktop. Ground; please swallow me. Spencer looked so mad, not that I blamed him; he wasn’t the one in the wrong, I was. I’d snapped for no apparent reason. Nor was it his fault I’d slept like crap or my nightmares had returned.

I straightened in my chair and peered over at the closed door; I needed to either eat humble pie and apologise or quit. Then again, Spencer wouldn’t accept my resignation over something so small. Humble pie it had to be.

Pushing off my chair, I fixed my appearance and bravely made my way to his office. I raised my hand and knocked on the closed door, tentatively waiting for a response.

His response came clipped and sharp. “Come in!”

“Spencer, may I speak with you…please?” Whom was I kidding? I was a timid little mouse currently shaking in her designer heels.

“Take a seat please, Ms McGovern.” If the stiff nod and the formality of his tone as well as the furious tapping on the keyboard were anything to go by, I’d say he was highly irritated with me.

“Yes… Mr Hughes.” I swallowed the lump of pride in my throat and slowly flopped into the chair in front of his desk. My eyes misted over. “I... I have come in here to apologise for my outburst earlier. I honestly don’t know what came over me.” Ashamed, my chin tilted heavenward.

His hardened expression softening, Spencer sighed. “Look, I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you; it was entirely my fault for sneaking up on you anyway.” His brows creased in concern. “You okay?”

“Perhaps it’s just tiredness as the girls, and I went out to celebrate my promotion, and as you can imagine, we got in pretty late.” Relieved Spencer wasn’t about to write a formal warning, or worse – fire me, I sagged against the backrest. “Again, I apologise.”

“It's fine, we’re all human, so in my book, it means we’re entitled to have the occasional difficult day.” Spencer smiled warmly, putting my mind at ease. His chocolate, brown eyes were reminding me of someone I knew, making me smile. “I’ll be sure to make more noise the next time I arrive early though.” He chuckled.

“Thank you. I won’t hold you up anymore, Spencer, and I’ll get back to work,” I replied softly before strolling back to my desk.

However, my mind wasn’t relaxed. Instead, I spent the remainder of the day in a daze, the ability to focus, gone. Regaining that focus and control before everything became overwhelming had to be my new goal, and I knew precisely where to start – the gym.

“Hey, I’m home!” Poppy hollered sauntering into the kitchen where I was busily prepping salad vegetables at the island bench as I listened to the various piano tunes on my Spotify playlist.

“Hi, Poppy, how was your day?”

Hanging her tote and satchel over the back of a bar stool, her brow wrinkled. “You’re home earlier than normal, Teddy. Is everything okay? You seem a little distracted?” she murmured, watching slivers of Lebanese cucumber slide from the cutting board into a clear glass bowl filled with spinach and rocket leaves.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” I gave a swift shake of the head and started dicing Roma tomatoes trying to ignore the disbelieving gaze staring at me.

“I call bullshit. Tell me what’s really going on, or do I have to shake it out of you?” Poppy forewarned rounding the bench. Carefully, she extracted the sharp knife out of my shaking hand, setting it down on the counter.

Taking one look into those coffee brown eyes, I dissolved. “Yesterday, as I left work, someone was watching me in the garage. I think it was…” I choked on my tears, unable to speak his name. I didn’t have to.

“Are you sure? Maybe it was just a homeless person or somebody who looked like – him?”

Poppy and I had met after her father’s job transferred him from London to Melbourne, merely months before my life changed forever. She was the one and only person I had openly told about my sordid ordeal. Mind you, when your best friend finds you crying your eyes out and trying to swill an entire bottle of scotch stolen from your father’s liquor cabinet, it was bound to raise a few concerns.

Her forthright manner always had a way of making you open up, even when you’ve tried to tell her, repeatedly, that you weren’t in the mood to talk about it. Without her friendship, coming to terms with my past may never have happened. Her support hadn’t ever wavered, sealing the bond we now shared, one so much stronger than sisterhood.

“No, I can’t be certain, unless he has an evil twin. I’m sorry. Perhaps it was just my imagination, and it was just a homeless person?” Who was I trying to convince more, her or me? I smiled weakly. “That’s why I went for a run early this morning, and to the gym this afternoon. I have to regain control over my life before it takes hold of me again.”

“That’s right, you do. Just keep focusing on the positive influences around you, and you’ll be fine.”

“Thank you for always being there for me.”

“I’m always here if you need me, but next time – don’t hide your issues from me, okay?” Poppy chided sternly, wagging a finger at me. Clear and direct; an approach she’d mastered and used in her skills as an English teacher at Beaumont Grammar, a prestigious school in Melbourne’s northern district.

“Okay, but I won’t say I promise to either,” I said, turning my guilty gaze away from her under the pretence I was grabbing the knife to finish my food prep. Some secrets just weren’t meant to be shared; it was against the rules.

“Mm, I’m starving. What’s on the menu tonight?” Dominique asked eyeing the small feast spread over the long wooden dining table hungrily.

I chuckled in amusement. “Spinach and ricotta tortellini deliciously coated in a mushroom sauce, with garlic bread and a simple salad, nothing too spectacular. I picked it up from the deli on the way home from the gym,” I replied, setting a bottle of Pinot Grigio in the centre of the table as I slid into one of the empty seats either side of Poppy.

“Who cares where it came from, its dinner, and it smells amazing. Let’s eat,” Poppy responded, shovelling a forkful of pasta into her mouth.

“So girls, are we all set for Saturday night?” Dominique queried, through a mouthful of salad. “I’m so excited; mum throws the best parties. The food, the people, the booze, and let’s not forget the hot guys in fabulous tuxes’!”

Scarlett picked up a serviette and playfully wiped down Dominique’s chin. “For the drool,” she uttered dryly. “You’ll ruin your dinner with it.”

Dominique giggled, swatting Scarlett’s hand away. “You’re an idiot.”

“Have you got your dresses organised?” Poppy enquired tearing at the garlicky baguette. The girls nodded in unison.

“I have too,” I added, clutching the wine bottle, and filling everyone’s glasses. “What time are we expected at your mother’s soiree, Dom?”

“Seven, or eight, I can’t remember exactly.” Her nose scrunched. “It doesn’t matter if we’re a little late, mother would faint on the spot if we ever arrived on time anyway.”

I giggled. Audrina Jaeger represented everything a mother was supposed to be; kind, loving, and most of all, fun. Unlike mine, they were opposites in every way. “Your mother knows us well.”

“And you know… Ari shall be there,” Dominique told me ever so casually, lifting the wine glass to her lips as she tried to hide her not so innocent smile.

“So?” I sighed, pushing to my feet. “What does Ari being there have to do with me?” I challenged, gathering dishes, and carting them to the sink. Inside I was delighted, but it was a sentiment I refused to share with my persistently intrusive roommates. As always though, their sixth sense to my take flight response whenever Ari’s name came up was on overdrive.

“So?” Scarlett intoned, rolling her eyes and bouncing around me as I rinsed the plates under the hot water. “Is that all you’ve got to say about the man you’ve unequivocally lusted after your entire life? You two have it bad for one another,” she uttered. “The moment you two are in the same room, the sexual tension blows the roof from its rafters.”

I spun on my heel and shot her a deathly glare. “We do not!” The high octave in my voice was a sure sign she was right on the mark. Her smirking expression told me so. She was such a bitch. “We’re just friends. We grew up together, so naturally, we’re bound to have some feelings, you know, like a brother and sister,” I argued nonchalantly, and again, not one of them bought it.

“That’s crap, and you know it. What you and Ari share, Teddy is most definitely not like a brother and a sister. A brother-sister relationship is what we have – the whole love-hate thing. And I agree with Scarlett; Ari acts like a lost puppy whenever he sees you,” Dominique interjected, sticking a finger in her mouth. “…It’s sickening.”

Snap. There it was, and it had nothing to do with the crude gesture causing one of my brows to rise sharply. In my attempt to ignore the continually churning digs about Ari, I turned back to the sink and started stacking the dishwasher.

I loved Ari and had for years. But the problem was my past, it always stood smack bang in the middle of the road like a large crevice, preventing any chance of us ever coming together.

Scarlett bounded around the bench like that jacked-up rabbit I’d always thought her to be and grabbed me by the waist. “Come on, sissy; you know ya wanna!” Her eyebrows jiggled scaring me or scarring me. Whichever way I was concerned. Moreover, she had me cornered. A shitty predicament to be in if you asked me.

“Yes, all right! You’re a bunch of nags. I do like him! A lot!” Finally and much to their impish delight, I caved. I was sure my cheeks burned the same colour as my hair; so much so, astronauts could detect me glowing from outer space. Mars to be precise. I’d just died of embarrassment twice in one day. I had set a new record. “There, I said it. Are you happy now?”

“Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be?” Dominique giggled, sidling up beside me. “Why don’t you try on the weekend at mum’s party? You may find my brother will be more than happy to reciprocate,” she stated matter-of-factly. Cheeky bugger.

“Okay, okay,” I conceded blushing. “This weekend I’ll tell Ari – but only after a few glasses of champagne and all this nagging!”

Loud satisfied screams deafened me.

I threw the dishcloth into the sink. “Right, who’s finishing the cleaning up, because I most certainly am not?” Pointedly I stared at my sister and Dominique. Surprisingly they took the hint.

Simpering, I clutched the wine bottle along with my glass and moseyed over to the family room, setting them both down on the coffee table before switching on my iPhone, the room automatically filling with the earthy voice of Etta James. I went and sat beside a slightly tipsy Poppy on the modular sofa to relax, if only Scarlett would quit complaining then I could.

A protesting whimper swiftly followed as Dominique flicked her on the thigh with the tea towel.

I smiled privately behind my glass at the familiar and arousing sound. In my dazed state, I began stroking the long stem of my drink, my thoughts tuning in elsewhere, somewhere more erotic.

Poppy bumped our shoulders together, knocking me out of my reverie. “You’re blushing. I imagine it has something to do with a particularly hot, handsome young man. And don’t try to lie, I know that look!”

I sipped on my wine under the ruse of not hearing what she’d said.

“You were, weren’t you?” Poppy pressed, grinning at me.

“You’re as bad as the other two. Is this gang up on Teddy night?” I whined, my head falling back against the sofa.

Bobbing her head gleefully, she drunkenly giggled. “Yep…”

“You’re all unreal.” I laughed along with her; my thoughts were quickly sobering. “I just hope I don’t lose my nerve and run away from him as I have in the past…”

“One should hope not!” Poppy determined in her soft English accent. “Perhaps, and this is merely a suggestion, take him somewhere quiet, away from prying eyes and ears?” As she not so covertly pointed in the direction of the kitchen, hiding my laughter became a tad challenging.

“Good thinking, ninety-nine, I may just do that.” I polished off the glass and set it down in my lap. “I’ll grab him by the belt and drag him upstairs to his old bedroom so that I can ravage him with all this ‘sexual tension’ we’ve allegedly harboured.”

“No alleging anything,” she scoffed, earning a dramatic eye-roll from me. “If I were you, I would even go butt naked underneath just to save time,” Poppy dryly endorsed.

“Poppy Fleming, I’m shocked!” I slapped a hand over my mouth as another bout of laughter bubbled to the surface. “And here I thought you were little Miss Prude.”

“I’m a closet kink,” she whispered, holding a finger up to her lips. “But shh, don’t tell anyone.”

“Your secret is safe with me. Anyway, I’m off to bed.” My legs wobbled beneath me as I pushed off the sofa to stand. “Whoops.”

“See, you’re already weak at the knees just thinking about him.”

“No, it was the extreme exercise at the gym that’s done it.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but we all know the truth.”

Growling, I waved a dismissive hand. “Goodnight lovely.”

“Goodnight Teddy Bear. Don’t dream too much of him, though. You’ll only frustrate yourself more, and then you’ll be pulling out one of those many friends you own in the drawer….” Poppy snickered, gaining immense delight as she saw my cheeks flame. “Then all that tension -,” Her hands circled the air above her. “- poof, gone!”

I picked up one of the overstuffed cushions and threw it at my hysterically laughing friend. “Goodnight popsicle!” Amused, I took off to my bedroom before she said anything more to embarrass me.

Throwing myself onto the bed, I flopped against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling, praying I wasn’t making a massive mistake by finally giving in to my feelings.