Читать книгу Legend of the Peeing briton - Павел Тюрин - Страница 30

British Petroleum (BP) announced that their staff were happy to learn that the name of their company is practically indistinguishable from PB, and that alone makes them closer to Blockhead. The oil refinery workers became prouder as they became aware that the oil that bursts out of the ground also symbolises the desire for freedom. And when the management of the company conceded to change the order of the letters on their trade mark from ‘BP’ to ‘PB’ they started to pump oil even with more zest as their way of showing support to their distinguished countryman. The competitors saw that as a clever marketing ploy on the part of British Petroleum, and we can hardly contest that. After all it would be foolish not to acknowledge such a coincidence.

Certainly such an effective campaign of support for Blockhead could not have gone unnoticed, and the counter reaction was to be expected. But who could have foreseen that the counter reaction would be so monstrous. In spring 2010 on the British Petroleum oil refinery platform in the Gulf of Mexico an explosion occurred and thirteen bepee-ers were killed in the peak of their prowess.

When the society accused the antipeeiers of the sabotage they claimed that these were nothing but delusional conspiracy theories. Quite the opposite they argued that this BP incident is a mad gesture of the ‘Peeing British’ Club activists. This is absurd! It is as clear as day that this was an incitement created not by the honest competitors of British Petroleum such as Standard Oil or Exxon, but by the haters of Blockhead. The timing of the explosion, of course, indicts the offenders, since it happened soon after the news of the changed name became public. But, moreover, the explosion occurred on the infamous day of the 20th of April, Adolf Hitler’s birthday, the very same day when all the dissenters of freedom, who are ready to commit any anti-freedom crime, celebrate. Of course, as Blockhead expostulated himself at the foot of the Riga monument, he proved that he is, and always will be on the side of liberty.

Unfortunately, as the case concerns the Peeing Briton’s opponents the official investigation yet again finds itself at a dead end. And this time again it boiled down to some inane reasons. Supposedly the construction of the unnecessary well suddenly became slanted, or the improper cementing was at fault, or some other nonsense was to blame for the catastrophe.

And now the offenders may believe that they have got achieved their aim because BP has decided to postpone the former decision about the change of the logo. But the refinery workers from the temporarily deceased ‘Deepwater Horizon’ responded to this divertissement, by handing in the mass appeal to be accepted into the ‘Peeing British’ Club. They added that as soon as the drowned platform, the size of two football fields, could be re-established they would walk its perimeter holding Blockhead’s portraits.