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That Certain Something
ОглавлениеSome people know how they want to handle their baby’s sleep from the beginning. Melissa, mother of Jessie, read a book and was convinced:
‘About three weeks before Jessie was born I read a book called The Continuum Concept which convinced me that the best way to sleep was together. It’s been no problem at all since she was born. Sometimes Jessie’s a bit restless and John has to lie on his front to protect his sensitive parts, but putting her in another room just seemed such hard work. After a couple of weeks she never really woke at night, she just goes around looking for milk. She sleeps through to eight or nine and sleeps really deeply. We have a 5ft 3in bed which is a great family bed. We built a big sleeping platform with rails at one side and the wall at the other. Possibly we are more relaxed because we don’t have to think “Shall we let her cry?” I think our relationship (John’s and mine) was improved because we both slept well.’
Jane, mother of Thomas, Esther and Isaac knows what works for her:
‘It was important for us to have an evening so we wanted the baby upstairs on his own, in his own space. Simon felt very stressed having the baby around him and I was very worried that I’d spoil the baby by not having a routine. I was happy for a little baby to lead me, but there came a time when I needed some time and I needed to instil some routine. So, from ten weeks once he had his bath in the evening, he didn’t come downstairs. It was bath, feed, bed. It felt like we were back to normal.’
Others know that they want to make a decision with their baby:
‘My itinerary is totally unaffected by Alistair’s need to sleep. He sleeps anywhere and everywhere as soon as he’s tired, and at night he sleeps with me in my bed. Even strongly disapproving grandparents have to admit that he is a charming, pleasant, well mannered and very independent little boy. Child-led parenting isn’t a panacea, but it works well for a significant number of families. Too often “experts” seem to be trying to persuade us that our babies are tyrants needing strict regimes and hard-hearted discipline.’
Monica
What all these families have in common is a sense of certainty. The parents believe in what they are doing, and in their baby’s ability to fit in with it. It seems that babies who feel a sense of their parents’ certainty sleep well.
Every time a new baby is born he brings with him an infinite range of possible relationships. For both of you it is a time of enormous change, and some of the changes may seem awkward and not ‘you’. But by listening to your baby as well as to your inner voice, it is possible to smooth out most conflicts and to become confident of your ability to deal with any problems.