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“Let’s Talk Ta-Tas”

You may have noticed that this book is written by The Texas Ta-Tas. And, I know the first thing on your mind is “What the hell is a Ta-Ta?” We’re not talking about any normal ta-tas here, we are talking about The Texas Ta-Tas. These Ta-Tas are not beautiful mounds of soft flesh, with juicy little nozzles permanently attached. No, it goes way beyond that. However, even if I do say so myself, our ta-tas ain’t bad.

From the time of birth, a man must be “hard-wired” to zone in on the ta-tas. Now, that’s understandable when you’re an infant and breast-feeding. Can you tell me at exactly what age they’re supposed to get re-programmed to take in all the other physical traits of a woman? I thought not. Apparently, they see us as two huge boobs, bouncing from place to place. Why do we even have arms, legs and feet, much less a face, when they never look at them? Remember that movie, “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask?” and the giant boob was just bouncing randomly down the hill, squirting milk?” It’s kinda like that. Every woman everywhere has experienced this more than once, and, we need to figure out a way to reboot these guys. But, our thoughts on that will be discussed at a later date.

With that in mind, these Ta-Tas are about attitude, not appendages. And Texas women are known for having plenty of ATTITUDE! Attitude is not just exclusive to Texas, I’ll bet some of you women from Wisconsin and even New Hampshire, can get kinda rowdy when you want to. Texas Ta-Tas are women who have worked hard all of their lives, experienced as many bad times as good, have the ability to laugh at themselves (and others, cause what’s the fun of just laughing at yourself?), and been responsible for the happiness of themselves as well as others. It’s been said that the bond between mother and child is unbreakable. As women, we all know there is another bond out there that surpasses all understanding. We all recognize our own. By now, you have a grasp of what a Texas Ta-Ta is. But, down in Texas we want to make darn sure that we’re on the same page. So, below is our recipe.

Recipe for The Texas Ta-Ta

Take two cups of Steel Magnolias

3 scoops of the Sweet Potato Queens

1 stick of Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Throw in a pinch of craziness from the Red Hat Ladies Society

Only a dash of Pussycat Dolls (too much could leave yourself wide open for serious problems)

And garnish with the courage of Thelma and Louise

Mix all this together and you get women, with the Spirit of Texas in our Souls, adventure in our hearts and the courage to dare to be different. We’re not afraid of challenges or failures in life, and with a little help from our friends, we pull ourselves up by the boot straps and keep on truckin.’ We’re also not afraid to laugh at ourselves, wear goofy clothes, travel the wide open spaces or embarrass our children. We live life to the fullest and we love completely and passionately. That love extends to God foremost, our families, the men and women who serve our country, sisters of all colors, races and religions, and bless their little hearts, the testosterone laden of America!

If you are a woman with some of these characteristics, you may be a Texas Ta-Ta in training. So, take a walk on the wild side, throw caution to the wind, form your posse and create your own group of Ta-Tas, cause we want to hear from you. Just contact us thru the website, www.texastatas.com, and feel free to spread the word!

Internet dating may be our first take on a worthy subject, but it certainly won’t be our last. We hope you look forward to our next exciting adventure! With big ole hugs and kisses....

The Texas Ta-Tas